driver

something about not being able to drive a car has been holding me back all my life. after I graduated from college at age 20, I have set my mind that by 25 i would be driving my own car. but here i am forty-something and all and i just finished driving school a few weeks ago.

so now, i'll be driving my own life. shoulda done this a long time ago.

guess who's cooking!

so i've been proud of the little achievements i've had about cooking for the family. 

but today, the little big man did it too. a couple of times, i've told him that it's about time he learns to cook simple meals, and rice. so last night, i taught him, with the lights out and we were about to go to sleep, how to cook instant noodles. i was specific about how to turn the stove on and off because i don't want him causing a fire or getting himself burned. i told him the danger of turning it on and not having any flame being that the gas is coming out in the air and he doesn't know it and once he clicks it again, it might burst into flames. yeah, quite morbid to imagine but it's better that he knows than to regret later.

this morning, he texted me and asked again the step by step procedure. i called him and again, told him how to fire up the stove, how many cups of water to put for 2 packs, when to put in the noodles, when to pour the seasoning, how to find out if it's cooked...i told him again to be extra careful with the stove and to make sure it's turned off after cooking.

in less than 30 minutes, he texted me: 

Mommy success! Ang sarap 15 May 2014  9:49am

i'm so proud of him. he's learning to be a more responsible young man everyday. he still has a lot to learn i know, but these baby steps are all he needs and he'll be on his way. makes me a bit dreadful that soon he won't need me anymore. just this morning, he was talking about going out and exploring the world on his bike. i told him he can only bike around the neighborhood but never outside the subdivision but i will never know for sure, right? the last month, he and his little sister have been on their own during mornings (being that it's summer break here) and although they still fight a lot, i know that soon, he will be able to take on, seriously, his role as big brother.

i only pray for him and the little girl that God guides them always and that i will be able to instill in them the right values and morals they need to become the best that they can be when they grow up.

It's easier to build strong children

than to repair broken men.

~Frederick Douglass

chito's proposal to neri

y'all know i'm a sucker for wedding proposal videos and chito miranda. i feel you, neri.

growing plants

i am not into plants. i'm into pets but i don't have a pet because i cannot take care of one, what with my hyperactive, choleric, type A personality kids who take up my time and energy. i do not want plants in my life as much as i don't want pets because of the responsibility they bring.

but i've been watering my mom's plants daily for over a month now. i don't have a choice because they are placed in the front yard of our little penthouse for the longest time and there is no one to take care of them now but me. so just this summer, i get up at 5:30 in the morning to water them. everyday.

and i dunno... i've grown a slight attachment to them. i pick out dried leaves and weed out those unsightly grass that grow here and there.  i got guilty when i went on vacation for 2 days and i got home and some of them dried up a bit. i also began to treat my daily watering chore as a form of exercise, what with me dipping the tabo in the timba for each potted plant. and boy, have i got a lot of potted plants to pour into so you can just imagine how many times i bend over and carry each tabo of water to each plant.

anyway, this morning, i was in awe to find most of "my" plants healthy and.... flowering!

over the last month, i've grown too with my plants. just as i did my best to nurture them, i nurtured myself. i've learned to be self-reliant now more than ever. things i never did before on my own, i can now do by myself. cooking. laundry. house-cleaning. more recently, driving. and basically, managing my household. i have re-affirmed that God gave me trials and hard times for me to become a better person. just as those plants experienced dry season, they are now blooming in summertime.

yeah. me. blooming in summertime. :)

belated happy mother's day to me.

A garden requires labor and attention. 

Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions.

They thrive because someone expended effort on them.

~Liberty Hyde Bailey

working mom

let me forwarn you. this will be tearful.

this morning, the little big man woke up with fever while i was preparing to go to work. 

(you must know that our little family is coping with the hubby in neverland and it's just the kids and me in the little home for over a month now.)

i gave him biogesic. yes, he's taking tablet medicine now. i asked him if he was ok and he said no. he has a headache. i asked him if he wants me not to go to work and stay with him.

ikaw bahala was his reply.

(it's up to you.)

what to do? any normal, sane, caring mother knows very well that means he doesn't want to impose but of course he wants me to stay with him.

so i picked up my phone to text the office that i was not coming to work. 

before sending the text, i thought of all the things i have to do at work today. i thought of 3 scheduled meetings. i thought of my friend/officemate/department-partner who has already informed me in advance that she might not be in today so there won't be anyone to delegate the work today. i thought of the would-be-loss of 1 day's salary. 

i went back to the little big man and whispered to him that i really have to go to work. that i want to stay with him but i have committed to those 3 meetings and that there will be no one else to do the work today and so i cannot NOT go to work.

he said ok.

now, i'm at work. and i am guilty as hell. so judge me.

tears. tears and tears of regret.

sorry, anak.

She never quite leaves her children at home, 

even when she doesn't take them along.

~Margaret Culkin Banging

Good Day

I must say I had a productive day today. Second time this week. The first was last Monday, I didn't go to work but ended up enrolling in driving school, getting my student permit and finally getting my kids their new Samsung Tab3 and Samsung S Duos.

Today, a Friday, I didn't go to work again. Spent the first two waking hours driving. My teacher, Aban, is as short as me. Literally same height. He is so cool and kind I don't want anybody else to teach me.

After my lesson, the kids and I went to Notre for their enrollment. How can hard-earned money just go like that in an instant?

Insert picture here of receipt

When we got home I cooked for my mom. Later in the afternoon, I suddenly wanted to cook spaghetti for the kids. Yes, I did. Butbi found that my speghetti sauce ia expired by over a year. (Remember? I dont really cook, right.) Ran off to SM with tge little girl to get Three-cheese pasta sauce. Shopped a little too and got the little girl's school supplies.

My spaghetti was a hit. Then cooked fried chicken (in Japanese breading) later tonight for a late- night supper which the kids really enjoy. The late-night supper, I mean.

If you don't know me well, let me tell you that it's a big deal that I am cooking. And it's making me happy that I am able to do this for my kids.

Real proud of myself today.