Liminal Space

This morning, I attended a worship service at the office which I initially thought was a first Friday mass. 

The pastor spoke about Liminal space and the Liminality of God.

Great, I thought. This is exactly where i am right now.  I couldn't help but post this on IG right after.

This past month of May has been a month of transition, decisions of going forward or staying behind, major life changes. 

I brought the little girl to voice lessons. She also went on a 2-day acting workshop which she immensely enjoyed more than the singing which took a few weeks.

I got a new seat / desk at work at the corner of the 2nd floor office. As if that's a major life change but then now it's more airy and spacious so I guess that will affect my work attitude and flow.

The boss asked me if I wanted to level up. He wanted me to take on the responsibility of being Division Head. The following day I talked to the VP for HR and told her I didn't wanna. I knew it was something I shouldn't do, being that, the dynamics of the company will only make me the fall guy. I am happily placed already where I am and doing good at it. So why spoil the broth. My VP told me the same.

I decided to transfer the kids to a new school. Practical reasons. Lower tuition fees, no school bus service, being that it's walking distance from our house. Shorter school hours too. More time to sleep in the morning and will get home early in the afternoon. They will still be tutored by my cousin and I have high hopes they will excel this year.

I finally bought that new car I've been pining over since last year. I will now be able to go anywhere I want with the kids, independent of anyone to drive for us.

I've contacted a prospective employer. We've planned a meeting to discuss things but so far nothing concrete yet. But he did say he's definitely considering me on his team. Which is something I am holding on to.

My sister-in-law who's been helping me and hubby has been having her own personal problems. She and her kids slept over one weekend this May. I want to be there for her emotionally but we don't get to talk often.

The start of June has been nothing but positive for me. I can say I'm contented and happy right now. Something happened with the hubby last weekend where he is right now and it got me worried for a while but I guess he can deal with it. I'm praying for him constantly. 

I'm looking forward to better days ahead.

It is not the strongest of the species that survive,

nor the most intelligent,

but the one most responsive to change.

~ Charles Darwin

A good read:

http://inaliminalspace.com/about/what

mom "me"

i washed some of my kids' and hubby's clothes and underwear a little while ago.  two days of typhoon and a week's worth of laundry (due to the absence of my nanny/helper) summoned me to do it against my will.  i just did a few though to get the family through the weekend.  


i have a confession to make.  i can't believe i enjoyed it.  i'm not kidding.

it dawned on me as i was rinsing the suds off the little big man's P.E. t-shirt as i thought about how it should dry overnight cause he needed to wear it tomorrow.  (sorry we don't have a dryer.)  i wondered if our helper would thoroughly rinse our laundry or would she haphazardly do it just to get it over and done with.  as i thoroughly squished and squashed dirty socks, i imagined myself doing this everyday with only the thought that i'm doing it for my kids.  then it hit me:  i would rather do this than sit on my office chair right at this very moment.

then again, after finally saying it out loud (literally, with the larger fonts i used), it may be just because i don't do it everyday and maybe i felt the novelty of me washing clothes.  

earlier today, as i browsed the grocery for the stuff the little girl will be needing for tomorrow's school activities, i thought, what the heck, this is fun!  it gave me that sense of fulfillment that everything is taken cared of for my daughter and that i personally prepared everything for her.  thus,i am assured that she has everything she needs.  these things i couldn't have done, and the hubby wouldn't have done, had i didn't skip work today to take care of the little girl.

then again, maybe the hubby would've done it if i weren't around?  and i'm just using this as an alibi so i can resign from my job and be a stay-at-home-mom like i've always dreamed of?

whatever it is, i still think, as i've thought of for the last couple of months, that maybe i should really start thinking of a career that involves me staying with the family most of the time.  so there.  so shoot me, boss.