Bruce

I've been thinking about it for the last 13 months. At the start of 2015, the desire was too great not to do something about it. (It is more of a need, actually, not a want. Yes, I am justifying my action.)

His name is Bruce. He's small for a guy but quite brusque in my opinion. He's black. Please, no judgment there. He's actually cute and charming but has this air of being smug, sort of reserved and secretive. My dad didn't like him when he met him. But all dads are like that. He wanted Red but at the last minute, I chose this guy.

My daughter wanted to call her Nicki. I asked her why. Her reply: Nicki Mirage.  

Just this morning, I've decided she/he will be named Nicki Bruce. 
Gender: Gay. Yeahhh! Lalaki sa umaga, babae sa gabi at pag weekends. 

P.S. In January 2015, en route to Baguio with my family, we first went to Manaoag and as I saw cars lined up to be blessed, I made a mental note to have mine blessed there too. I didn't realize Our Lady was listening. 

The cars we drive say a lot about us.

~Alexandra Paul

Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.

~Drake

just another weekend

Hello Monday morning!

It was a productive weekend. By that I mean, I was able to finish 4 weeks worth of laundry including 3 bedsheets. I bought new curtains.

I bought two new cacti and a potted giant rose plant.

I didn't do my tryinghardchef stint this time, except for the mandatory buttered shrimp for the little girl. But I did buy a tom yum soup pack for next weekend's shrimp. For a change. 😊 I also bought Yummy, a recipe magazine so I'm sure to try out new food this week. I am excited about that.

Kids and I attended The Feast Valenzuela again yesterday (2nd time this month). So heartwarming. Kids think we should attend it every week. Which makes me really glad that they like worship.

We haven't gone to taekwondo training for 3 weeks. It feels sad not to be able to go and letting my kids' "athleticity" go to naught. But last night Mommy O called and said the coach wants the little big man in the national tournament on the 26th. That's two weeks away so we gotta work up our schedule to be able to train.

So I'm off to a brand new week. Wish me luck. Good vibes only. God's will, God's time.

Moving on

So I started using some new products for my face for 2 days now. I am planning on making myself look and feel more beautiful and confident. I won't divulge until I get some good results. Of course, the mandatory "before" shots were taken and after I finish off the products, I'll take an "after" shot to see of anything actually happened.

And let me just add that about a month ago, i also started taking these anti-oxidants and minerals (essentials from usana).

So there.

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Me Time

Sometimes I just want to put my feet up and relax. Had a foot spa and pedi earlier and it felt so good.

I've been a bit emo since last night. My thoughts went on like this: I used to be fun.

I imagined how the friends I have now see me compared to the friends who knew me when I was... fun. I wished they would know the person that I was before I became...this.

An Abraham Lincoln quote

This is just to start off my Friday morning. Looking forward to the weekend.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak  by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by encouraging class hatred. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

mommy matters

resilience.  i feel this word.  i want it to drench me in its meaning.

i've never felt more "mom" than i have been the last couple of days.  i was on leave for 3.5 days last week to physically take care of the kids' needs, without a nanny and without a husband.  

last tuesday, i had to leave work midday to fetch the little big man because classes were suspended while the little girl was sick at home.  from that day onward, i prepped them every morning, brought them to school, fixed the house and did errands, fetched them later and had dinner somewhere or at my parents'.

over the weekend, i spent time at our canteen while finishing "fifty shades of grey."  i haven't read a whole book (novel) for the last 4 or 5 years and it felt really good although i wasn't too fascinated with the story of this one.  sunday the kids and i went to morning mass, had lunch at max's and spent a quiet afternoon and evening.  to top all that, i cooked dinner.  

and cooked breakfast and "baon" the next three days till today.  and i think i'll be doing that for the rest of my life because i realize i love doing it for the kids.  

i did some laundry and ironing too last week for the kids' uniforms.  but i did arrange with the laundry woman to come every monday since i know for a fact that i will not be able to handle that on a regular basis. 

i arranged for the kids' school service so that i wouldn't have to worry about them while   i'm at work.  good thing the kids liked the idea although they have to prepare for school an hour earlier than when the hubby used to bring them by car.

i bought a can opener.  this is monumental for me.  because for a long time, i never had one because cans at home were always opened by the hubby or the nanny or the house help using a big knife.  but last monday, i was gonna cook meat loaf for the kids' baon and i almost ground the meat inside the can using that big knife to open it.  i also bought a new cutting board since i wanted to replace ours a long time ago but never gotten around to doing it because i wasn't the actual user of it, until now.  and guess what, i bought a flat "sandok" for frying.  i know i will be frying a lot these days so might as well get my own.

last night, i went shopping for food.  i always did that with the hubby before because he's the one who knows that stuff.  (if you've known me long enough, you'd know i'm not that kind of girl and that he's that kind of guy.)  but last night, i was picking which cooking oil to buy, getting a pre-packed dozen eggs, deciding on whether to get the boxed milk or the chocolate milk, buying potatoes and tomato sauce... i was actually thinking of cooking a real meal (which is giniling na baboy) and not just something out of a can or a foil pack.  

i am also making time to fix, clean, arrange things in the house.  little by little.  i am now aware that trash is being picked up every wednesday and saturday so i always have to make sure it's out our door those days.  i am also aware when the mineral water is running out so i can request for a delivery.  i have asked for the help of one of our helpers at the canteen to prep the little girl every morning.  i have also commissioned our cook to make our dinner everyday.

one of my mom's borders offered to assist the little girl with her homeworks and study and although i do like to do that with her, i welcomed the kind help, silently thanking God for all of the good things that He's giving me and my family.

it surprised me that i could actually do things by myself.  and the things that i can't do, i am able to ask for help.  and i felt more fulfilled than i ever was.  it's tiring, i admit, waking up at 4:30am everyday, squeezing everything we have to do the whole day to be able to put the kids to bed at 9:00pm.  but i do get a little "me" time too, a quick browse through facebook, an online old movie, sewing my kids' names on their hankies, game of thrones during lunch time at work, a new lipstick... a quick quip on twitter and this blog.  i guess i just might be blogging a lot more than i used to.

i feel like i'm starting over.  love life!

Resilience is the ability to work with adversity in such a way that one comes through it unharmed or even better for the experience. Resilience means facing life’s difficulties with courage and patience – refusing to give up. It is the quality of character that allows a person or group of people rebound from misfortune, hardships and traumas.

Resilience is rooted in a tenacity of spirit—a determination to embrace all that makes life worth living even in the face of overwhelming odds. When we have a clear sense of identity and purpose, we are more resilient, because we can hold fast to our vision of a better future.

the sculptor

today i am reminded of that anecdote from way back my SADE days some 20 years ago.  it's a story about a sculptor who was always dissatisfied with his life, always wanting something else aside from what he already had. 

one day, he chanced upon a king who was passing by in a grand chariot and he admired how magnificent and powerful the king was.  he became so envious that he shouted to the heavens, i wish i were king!  the heavens opened up and a ray of light shined upon the sculptor and right then and there, he became a king.

now a happy king, he lived in a castle and ruled a vast and rich country.  until one day, he walked out on his palace's patio and was overwhelmed by the glare of the sun's blinding light.  he couldn't believe something was more magnificent than he.  he became so envious that he shouted to the heavens, i wish i were the sun!  the heavens opened up and a ray of light shined upon the king and right then and there, he became the sun.

later that afternoon, as the new sun shone upon the whole vast country that he once ruled as a king, a gray cloud came by.  it covered the sun and the sun, being permanently in place couldn't do anything about it.  and it realized that this cloud, however gloomy and sad it is, has power over the sun.  he became so envious that he shouted to the heavens, i wish i were a cloud!  the heavens opened up and a ray of light shined upon the sun and right then and there, he became a cloud.

pretty soon, the cloud felt itself getting heavier and heavier.  and after a while, it felt itself transforming into tiny drops of rain.  each drop fiercely fell down on the land below.  it couldn't do anything about it and decided to concentrate dropping on an immovable piece of rock on the ground.  but no matter how hard the rain fell on the rock, it would not budge.  no sir, not one bit.  and the rain was aghast!  he became so envious that he shouted to the heavens, i wish i were a rock!  the heavens opened up and a ray of light shined upon the rain and right then and there, he became a rock.

several weeks passed.  the rock sat quietly on the side of the road.  it knew that it was more powerful than the sculptor, the king, the sun, the cloud and the rain.  unmoving.  unaffected.  lonely.  

until one day, a young man walked past the rock, looked back at it, picked it up and took it home.  the young man then took out a hammer and a chisel and little by little, sculpted the rock a new shape that will later on be admired by generations.  


and the rock knew the power that he had always had inside of him.  he was no longer envious.  and he whispered to the heavens, i wish i were the sculptor that i once was.

"The soul of the world is nourished by people's happiness.

And also by unhappiness, envy and jealousy.

To realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation.

All things are one. "

- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

days after

it's been long since i went to a bank and made a deposit.  most of the time, somebody does my bank errands for me.  today was a different story.  


so when i got there, i saw that the "bar" where you get the deposit slips, withdrawal slips and all those slips was empty.  i politely asked the guard where should i get.  he said there were no more such slips and instead i had to use the touchscreen computer to enter my data.  a nice young woman in a scrubsuit even taught me.


i guess i should start getting used to doing things by myself.  self reliance.