resilience. i feel this word. i want it to drench me in its meaning.
i've never felt more "mom" than i have been the last couple of days. i was on leave for 3.5 days last week to physically take care of the kids' needs, without a nanny and without a husband.
last tuesday, i had to leave work midday to fetch the little big man because classes were suspended while the little girl was sick at home. from that day onward, i prepped them every morning, brought them to school, fixed the house and did errands, fetched them later and had dinner somewhere or at my parents'.
over the weekend, i spent time at our canteen while finishing "fifty shades of grey." i haven't read a whole book (novel) for the last 4 or 5 years and it felt really good although i wasn't too fascinated with the story of this one. sunday the kids and i went to morning mass, had lunch at max's and spent a quiet afternoon and evening. to top all that, i cooked dinner.
and cooked breakfast and "baon" the next three days till today. and i think i'll be doing that for the rest of my life because i realize i love doing it for the kids.
i did some laundry and ironing too last week for the kids' uniforms. but i did arrange with the laundry woman to come every monday since i know for a fact that i will not be able to handle that on a regular basis.
i arranged for the kids' school service so that i wouldn't have to worry about them while i'm at work. good thing the kids liked the idea although they have to prepare for school an hour earlier than when the hubby used to bring them by car.
i bought a can opener. this is monumental for me. because for a long time, i never had one because cans at home were always opened by the hubby or the nanny or the house help using a big knife. but last monday, i was gonna cook meat loaf for the kids' baon and i almost ground the meat inside the can using that big knife to open it. i also bought a new cutting board since i wanted to replace ours a long time ago but never gotten around to doing it because i wasn't the actual user of it, until now. and guess what, i bought a flat "sandok" for frying. i know i will be frying a lot these days so might as well get my own.
last night, i went shopping for food. i always did that with the hubby before because he's the one who knows that stuff. (if you've known me long enough, you'd know i'm not that kind of girl and that he's that kind of guy.) but last night, i was picking which cooking oil to buy, getting a pre-packed dozen eggs, deciding on whether to get the boxed milk or the chocolate milk, buying potatoes and tomato sauce... i was actually thinking of cooking a real meal (which is giniling na baboy) and not just something out of a can or a foil pack.
i am also making time to fix, clean, arrange things in the house. little by little. i am now aware that trash is being picked up every wednesday and saturday so i always have to make sure it's out our door those days. i am also aware when the mineral water is running out so i can request for a delivery. i have asked for the help of one of our helpers at the canteen to prep the little girl every morning. i have also commissioned our cook to make our dinner everyday.
one of my mom's borders offered to assist the little girl with her homeworks and study and although i do like to do that with her, i welcomed the kind help, silently thanking God for all of the good things that He's giving me and my family.
it surprised me that i could actually do things by myself. and the things that i can't do, i am able to ask for help. and i felt more fulfilled than i ever was. it's tiring, i admit, waking up at 4:30am everyday, squeezing everything we have to do the whole day to be able to put the kids to bed at 9:00pm. but i do get a little "me" time too, a quick browse through facebook, an online old movie, sewing my kids' names on their hankies, game of thrones during lunch time at work, a new lipstick... a quick quip on twitter and this blog. i guess i just might be blogging a lot more than i used to.
i feel like i'm starting over. love life!
Resilience is the ability to work with adversity in such a way that one comes through it unharmed or even better for the experience. Resilience means facing life’s difficulties with courage and patience – refusing to give up. It is the quality of character that allows a person or group of people rebound from misfortune, hardships and traumas.
Resilience is rooted in a tenacity of spirit—a determination to embrace all that makes life worth living even in the face of overwhelming odds. When we have a clear sense of identity and purpose, we are more resilient, because we can hold fast to our vision of a better future.
