julla, our pretty duckling

she got her ears pierced yesterday (august 17) at the health center in front of our subdivision's gate. she looked real pretty with her new pearl earrings. have to post a pic asap.

everyday, i look at her and see how pretty she is. maybe it's because i'm her mom so i really think she's beautiful. but i asked cesar if this was the case, and he told me that julla's really pretty. well, he's probably just saying that because he's the dad. har-har... :-)

her personality is coming out everyday. i sometimes call her "sungit" coz she is always frowning. and boy, can she cry her lungs out! everytime she feels sleepy, she'd get all cranky and whine and cry. i actually learned to live with it -- the crying and all that coz i know if i rock her enough, she'll eventually fall sleep. now when she smiles....boy, she lights up my world! i noticed she often smiles when we face her up to a mirror. she probably knows she's pretty, hah! or maybe, since she doesn't smile as often as she frowns, it becomes a precious moment. julla is also very observant. you'd see her staring at our movements. she is constantly watching her kuya migo's every move and is most at ease in her rocker when he's beside her.

we love her, love her, love her! me, her dad and kuya migo.

18 aug 2006 / 5:30pm

my little duck

last sunday, august 13th, migo celebrated his 4th birthday alongside the christening of baby julla. the double affair was held at chowking valenzuela right after the christening ceremony at our lady of fatima shrine.

the only godparents who arrived on time for the ceremony were irene, alice and marichu to which i am extremely grateful. (thanks, mga 'mare! i really appreciate it!) the others got delayed due to the rains (eric, edgar, louie--but at least you came). one ninong (rommel) had an accident that morning so was unable to come.

anyways... about the double celebration. part of the simple program was the blowing of candles. we put migo on top of a chair together with his birthday cake at his side and asked all the guests to sing a happy birthday. while everybody was singing, i stood beside him and he kept on hugging me and nesting his face in my neck. afterwhich, he blew the #4 candle on his cake.

later in the evening, before we went to sleep, i asked him if he was happy during the day. to which he replied, "opo. naiyak nga po ako kanina e." so i asked, "bakit ka naiyak?" and he said: "kase kinantahan ako ng happy birthday." cesar and i laughed. we realized that our 4-yr old can already be touched by situations such as this which, to think, can usually be felt by older kids. i hugged him tight and let him feel how much loved he is. is this an example of EQ? i don't know for sure but am happy at the thought of my young boy feeling that way.

two days later, we were praying before going to sleep. he said his prayer "angel of god..." and afterwards a spontaneous prayer which we normally do. that night, his ring finger was hurting because it got "ipit" at the side of our refrigerator door. so he prayed, "sana po pagalingin nyo na si ring man, parang awa nyo na po." to which cesar and i had a good laugh again later.

cesar tells me that lots of times, when it's mcdo day, (every fri the two of them go to mcdonald's to eat and migo plays in the playground there) he would notice migo making friends with the other kids and leading the others in playing. he would tell the others where to go, what to do and those who don't follow him usually strays away. he is never left without company or if he is, he happily plays by himself.

always, cesar and i are surprised at the things little migo says and does. he talks unusually like a grown-up. we don't always know what to expect when conversing with him. even my mom & dad get amused whenever he speaks to them because his ideas are so broad and you wouldn't think he'd say or know some things that he talks about.

this morning, when we brought him to school, we watched him as their class sang the pambansang awit, recited their morning prayer, sang "ito ang araw na ginawa ng panginoon", exercised and we saw how happy he is in school. we're proud of what he is -- our 4-yr od amongst 5yr-olds in his class. it's the last day of their first quarter exams. hope he does good.

now cesar and i have decided to call him "our little duck" just between ourselves. here's why:

six little ducks that i once knew

fat ones, skinny ones, fair ones too

but the one little duck with a feather on his back

he ruled the others with a quack, quack, quack

down to the river they would go

wibble, wobble, wibble, wobble, to and fro

but the one little duck with the feather on his back

he led the others with a quack, quack, quack

quack, quack, quack,

quack, quack, quack

he led the others with a quack, quack, quack

back from the river they would come

wibble, wobble, wibble, wobble, ho, hum, hum

but the one little duck with the feather on his back

he led the others with a quack, quack, quack

quack, quack, quack,

quack, quack, quack

he led the others with a quack, quack, quack

18 aug 2006 / 1pm

interview blues

here are several tips on what NOT to do when going for a job interview, based on what i've experienced this past week:

1) don't wear brand new, never-been-used 4-inch heels. i got mine from people are people. they looked real cool when i bought them, at half the price coz it was on sale. when i tried them on at the store and pranced around in them, showing off to migo, i loved it despite migo telling me they're "ang pangit, mommy!" well, i should've listened to him. kids probably know what's best for their moms too. the morning of my interview, i was only an hour away from home and 4 toes were already bruised and my feet hurt like hell. now the heels are being sold to my officemate which i hope she likes.

2) don't always tell the truth. or maybe, always tell the truth, in this case. my 2nd interview at rds was a disaster. well, at least for me, it was. they're actually asking me back for a 3rd interview next week, i absolutely wonder why! well, what happened was that the interviewer (the avp for merch) asked me what i did and all that so i explained to her my day-to-day activities. each item i mentioned she would reply "that's not what you're gonna do here." then she tells me that if hired, i would be coordinating with concessionaires. then she asked, "so what are you going to do with the concessionaires?" which startled me a bit. so i replied, "i actually have no idea." she was literaly taken aback. she probably never expected an applicant to be that blunt. so she quit asking and just told me that i will be endorsed to the hr dep and politely asked me to leave.

3) don't take other interviewers forgranted. when a headhunter scheduled me for a friday interview, another company called for a wednesday interview. to which i politely asked if it's possible to re-sched it on friday too so i can take a leave from work for just one day. the company said they'll just call again for the next set of interviews. fine, i thought. if they really want me, they'll call again. but they didn't. a week later, i was talking to my friend who knew somebody from that company and told me i'd definitely like to work there because my expertise is exactly what they were looking for. now i begged him to mention me again to them so they'd call me.

there's more to learn but i'll write again next time.... :-)

dawn till morning

on to lighter things....

i've not posted regularly. baby julla is 2.5months. still breastfeeding her when i'm at home. kuya migo started in big school last june 7th. work at the office was and still is at its peak, in terms of things to attend to, fix up, devote time to. in short, i literally haven't had a "good time" for myself since i got back.

despite all these, i'm enjoying my baby julla's company. and eventhough migo is such a handful to deal with these days, i still am thankful i have him around. they are my little angels... always making me smile when i'm down and out. even when julla is crying her lungs out and i get stressed by it, i cuddle her and make her feel the love of her mom. even when migo is so wise-cracking, makulit and noisy, i hug him still and make him feel the love of his mom. i know that no matter what, i will always, ALWAYS make it a point to let them know how much they are loved.

nowadays, the only time i have to myself is during late nights such as right now. i am able to open the computer, log on to the internet, read mails, surf a bit and do this -- blog. and i am happy. despite my complaints to my husband -- that i don't get to go shopping anymore, don't get to watch tv shows that i like, don't get to eat stuff that i like -- i am contented with my life with my family. this little family in this little house. all are in here. nothing more, nothing less.

01 july 06 / 12:14am

dusk

my ima is in the hospital right now. she's my yaya who took care of me and my brothers eversince we were born. now she still lives with my mom, dad, youngest brother and his son.

she has some sort of cancer in her vertebrae and it came from another cancer somewhere else in her body that doctors are still trying to figure out where. that's the reason they had her confined today. to check. to verify. to confirm...

it made me sad today. the thought of eventually losing her to sickness. she was such a kind woman. she loved me and my brothers, mom and dad so much that she never married or had children of her own. we were her family. and even now that my brothers and i have our own families, she's still there for us and now willingly takes care of our own kids whenever she can.

dear God, please make it easy on her when the inevitable has to happen. she gave us herself -- her whole life to my family. You gave her to us. and we thank You for that.

30 june 06 / 11:59pm

BAD DAY by Daniel Powter

cesar & i got hooked on american idol (season 5) last january and we watched it religiously since then. today, the final winner was announced and cesar's bet, taylor hicks "the soul patrol" won. here's that beautiful song from the show that we (including little migo) have come to love. i feel this is my song whenever i feel down and out...

i'm now looking for the lyrics of taylor's winning song and soon-to-be first single "do i make you proud".

25 may 2006 / 1:52pm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

Stand in the line just ahead of the law
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day You had a bad day
Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time

You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

domesticated me

i went back to work today. after more than a month of being with baby julla, i started going to the office again and i am depressed at the thought of leaving her everyday.

probably coz she's a girl ang i think our bonding is tighter. probably i enjoyed the break from the daily trivial problems that i have at work. probably i got used to being in the house all day. oh, if only i could always be on official leave!

but i recall there were days that i wished i could get out of the house and do things by myself. especially the first few weeks, i was so dependent on cesar, i felt so helpless then.

cesar's mom is going to take care of julla now that we're both back to work. i have my apprehensions but i don't tell anyone. but we're better off with her rather than a nanny we don't know. i don't want to trust my baby to just anybody. oh, if only i could be the one to take care of her! and breastfeed her for as long as she wants....

(sigh) the dilemma of a working mom....

22 may 06

jullana ysbel

my baby girl was born on april 5, 2006 at 4:44am. i was scheduled for operation supposedly at 8am but went into labor at 3am. birth weight is 2.9 kilos (=6.38lbs) and birth length is 51cm.

i was awake allthrough out the operation although i didn't feel anything coz of the anesthesia (spelling??). when i heard her cry (more like yelp) i was relieved. "sya na yun?" i asked the anesthesiologist who was standing beside my head. "oo." she replied.

now, baby julla is 19 days old, has gained weight and is looking more beautiful everyday.

24 april 2006 / 9:44pm

1 week to go

had ultrasound last friday, march 24. baby's a GIRL!! hah!! didn't i tell ya! cesar, migo and i are mighty proud... and glad. now, my dad (the grandpa) is happier. i saw it clearly by the big smile on his face when we told him. and he didn't approve of the name bettina. so now, we go back to the name migo was supposed to have had he been a girl..... jullana ysbel.... nickname will still be YSA....

cs operation still scheduled on april 3. migo's graduation is on april 1, he's the 3rd honor.

i'll post the ultrasound pic tomorrow....

27 mar 06 / 9:46am

two weeks and counting

my CS operation is scheduled on april 3, 2006. that's 2 weeks away. i'm both excited and anxious. we still don't know the gender of our baby. i'm going to my OB later for check-up and she's supposed to give me my admitting letter so that anytime i go into labor, i can go straight to the hospital.

this morning, cesar and i were talking about our new life with 2 kids. it will be much harder .... but we know, more rewarding. finances will definitely be tougher. but we will cope. we'll do anything for our 2 kids. with god on our side, of course.

hoping for the best....

20 mar 06 / 4pm

that's my boy!

here’s a story about migo that happened yesterday, according to hubby cesar…

for the past few months, cesar had been dead set on training migo to join in that kids’ tv contest “that’s my boy” at eat bulaga. so we let him join presentations and contests in school that will hone his talent (in reciting poems) and his confidence in front of a big audience.

yesterday, cesar, on the spur of the moment, asked migo one of those common questions being asked in contests as such. this is how their conversation went:

cesar : anak, ano sasagot mo pag tinanong ka sa eat bulaga ng ganito: kung mananalo ka dito sa that’s my boy, ano’ng gagawin mo sa perang napanalunan mo?

[translation: son, what will you say if you were asked in eat bulaga this question: if you win in this contest, what will you do with the money you won?]

migo : (thinking seriously, but seems can’t decide)

cesar : ganito na lang ang isagot mo. (typical of parents, huh) ibibigay ko po sa mommy at daddy ko para ilagay sa bangko.

[translation: you can answer like this. i will give it to my mom and dad to save in the bank.]

migo : eeee ayoko….bakit ko ibibigay sa nyo e akin yun?

[translation: i don’t like…. why should i give it to you if it’s mine?]

cesar : kase anak, yun ang tamang sagot.

[translation: because, son, that’s the right answer.]

migo : eeee ayoko nga. akin yun e. ayoko ilagay sa bangko.

[translation: i don’t like… it’s mine. i don’t like to put it in the bank.]

cesar : o sige. sabihin mo na lang, ibibigay ko sa mommy at daddy ko para pambili ng pagkain tsaka toys.

[translation: okay. just say, i will give it to my mom and dad to buy food and toys.]

migo : (still thinking seriously)

cesar : o sige. practice tayo. kung mananalo ka dito sa that’s my boy, ano’ng gagawin mo sa perang napanalunan mo?

[translation: okay. let’s practice. if you win in this contest, what will you do with the money you won?]

migo : (ever so reluctantly) ibibigay….. ko po….. sa …. mom…my at dad….dy ….ko …. para pambili …. ng….. (tears well up in his eyes) …….(starts to sob) …. (then starts to cry…. as in CRY) …. e akin yun e bakit ko bibigay sa inyo?? (more cries, tears and wailing)

[translation: i will give…. to….my…. mom… and dad…. to buy… .. (tears well up in his eyes) …….(starts to sob) …. (then starts to cry…. as in CRY) …. it’s mine, why should i give it to you?? (more cries, tears and wailing)

cesar couldn’t help but guffaw as he hugged the little kid to him. it was so funny coz it was so unbelievable to hear our little boy thinking for himself at his very young age. it was the logic of a 3-year old working here and it was really very surprising.

made daddy proud. and as he related to me this short episode over the phone, i laughed with tears in my eyes. made mommy proud too.

16 mar 06 / 10am

crunch time

i'm on my 33rd week of pregnancy. baby seems to be healthy, always kicking and pushing his/her way around my tummy. we don't know yet if it's a boy or a girl. but finally have names for both...jose rafael (raj) or bettina ysbel (ysa).

i can't wait to see my new baby. but am anxious too coz of the crisis ahead. just this week, our boss declared a 4-day working week effective march. this means a significant decrease in monthly income. he said this would only be temporary due to loans and payables that the company needs to update. even 2 of our company's 7 phone lines have to be cut so as to cope with the numerous expenses. all possible cost-cutting measures are being implemented asap.

so what's a mom to do? tighten the budget even more. i do not want to make this negative situation a setback to the joy of having a new baby. as much as possible, cesar and i do not wish to let our kids feel the crunch. we will do our best to augment our monthly income and lessen unnecessary expences.

life is unfair, just as i've always known. so all i can really do is deal with it, pray hard and hope for the best. that's the spirit, ayt? atta girl.... :)

23 feb 06 / 1pm

another letter to baby

dear baby bump,

you're 7 months in mom's tummy by now. i am having a hard time getting up in the morning and going to sleep at night these past few weeks since christmas. and you're pretty big now, as i look at you sideways in front of the mirror. i'm happy to feel you always moving inside me. you are god's blessing to me, your dad and your kuya migo.

we are still wondering if you're a girl or a boy.... i haven't had ultrasound yet and mama and papa are discouraging me from having one. surprise na lang daw. but your dad and i secretly plan to check you out so we'd know in advance. and at least, so we can call you by your name already. we haven't got a name yet if you're a girl. last suggestion from mama was "bettina". she believes you're a girl... but if you're a boy, papa already suggested "jose rafael."

don't want to rant, baby, but i'm really having a hard time these days. i'm always tired and lazy. hope you won't become a lazy baby ok? my appetite has grown though. maybe it's coz my last checkup showed that i lost 2 lbs. tsk, tsk, tsk... bad...

anyways, since you're going to be a scheduled CS, your dad & i are planning to have you on his birthday, march 30. but last week, we were informed that kuya migo's graduation will be on april1-2. so we might as well have you after that so that you and i can attend that very special event in your kuya's life.

well, see you soon baby....

luv,
mum

no title... duh...

if i could just get through this day... if i could just get through these last 2 months of my pregnancy... i'll be okay, i guess.

the past few weeks since the new year had been nothing but dull, irritating and tiring. both at work and at home. i try hard not to get affected at home so as not to affect the personality of my unborn baby. but sometimes, things just get so... frustrating. work is taking its toll on me. i'm BORED with working -- in the same company, for the same boss, with the same problems. every morning, i drag myself to the office. i look forward to weekends. can you believe i've been absent 4 times this month? which was unusual last year. i so look forward to my maternity leave come april. when finally i can take a break from it all. and maybe re-evaluate my position in the work i do. maybe i really do need to change careers, just as i've written here few months back. baby in my tummy is keeping me from going virtually insane here. of course, cesar and migo are always there for me but they can drive me crazy sometimes too. but i love, love, love them anyways! i'd never give up these 3 special people in my life for anything!

anyway.... (sigh) i've just got to keep on keeping on... so god help me....

caramel colored bubbles

can't get off 'em. even while i'm pregnant (and i know for a fact i shouldn't be drinking coke), i still sneak in a few gulps every now and then. not one whole bottle or can. just a few gulps. i just have to taste it on my tongue once in a while. a simple craving that i don't deprive myself lest i crave for it even more. just sipping those tiny caramel colored bubbles is enough to perk me up. (no coffee please)

passed out

dear baby bump,

we were at the newly-opened sm valenzuela today. me, dad & kuya migo. i was supposed to visit my ob-gyne first for our monthly check-up but her clinic was closed so we went to the salon for my much-needed haircut (which turned out to be not what i wanted... but that is another story). kuya migo got a trim too. then afterwards, upon his prodding, we all went to sm.

once there, we checked out some christmas trees and decor and decided which to buy later when budget permits. then we went to the play area where kuya migo rode some kiddie rides. then i decided i was hungry so we went to kfc on the ground floor.

once there, i started to feel weird. i knew immediately i was going to faint. slowly, my vision was starting to fade into black and i told your dad i was gonna lose it any minute. i told him i was gonna faint. (i already know this coz this happened to me too when i was pregnant with your brother.) then i was gone.

the next thing i knew, i was being seated on a chair with daddy's arms around me, calmly calling me, "sweetheart, sweetheart..." then i could hear him saying "buntis kase sya" probably to the passers-by. then slowly, i came back. migo was hugging my left leg softly saying, "mommy, mommy..."

later, i asked dad how it went. he said, like i told him, i slowly fainted and slumped on his arms. my eyes rolled heavenward. migo asked him innocently, "daddy, patay na ba si mommy?" to which he replied, "no, anak, hinimatay lang sya. behave ka para ok na si mommy." was funny coz he even kidded me that i looked like a joke--my facial expression and all.

anyway, i felt how much daddy & kuya loved me just by being there caring for me. it's the love that our family will be giving you too.

luv,
mom

very first letter to unborn baby

hello baby bump,

you should be fifteen weeks old by now inside mum's tummy. you're quite a bump by now but not too big yet for people to see that i'm actually pregnant. sometimes, you look like some excess fat around my waist, like love handles.

last night, when i was about to go to sleep, i felt you kick in there. i'm not really sure if that was you or my bowel moving in my intestines. but i put my hand over my tummy and waited. and then you kicked again. then i was pretty sure it was you. i tried telling your dad and brother that i felt you move but they were probably already somewhere in between reality and dreamland so they didn't really hear me. there was a broad smile on my face..... this is the first time i felt you and it made me so happy. am happy coz i'm carrying inside me a new life. a new person who i love already, unconditionally. i cherished that moment of just the two of us connecting. bonding moment. me and my unborn child.

when your brother migo was still in my womb, i started a diary in a small hello kitty notebook. i wanted him to be a girl so i used that girly notebook. i still keep that diary somewhere in the back of our wardrobe cabinet but have not written on it maybe since he turned 2 yrs old. i hope to start a new one for you. maybe here in my blog. just print it out later and have you read it when you turn 18yrs old. just like what i'd planned with your brother, i'll give him that hello kitty notebook when he turns 18 too.

hang in there, kid. mum, dad and kuya are waiting for you, anticipating, with so much love.

luv,
mum

baby girl

if the level of my nausea attacks are any indication of the sex of my baby, well, considering that i almost-puke everytime i smell something awful, maybe, just maybe, my baby will be a girl. to think, even if i smell my own perfume, i sometimes also feel nauseaus. there are even times that merely thinking about the smell of the toilet makes my insides churn.

if i base the age of my baby on my last menstrual period, "she" should be on "her" 13th week by now. meaning, i'm through with the first trimester. meaning, i should be over the nausea attacks starting this week! but a bad headache and vomitting greeted me early this morning. up until now (lunchtime) my head still aches.

my wish is really for my baby to be a girl. of course, i wouldn't mind having another boy. cesar and i even already have a name for a boy. but for a girl, none yet. we're thinking it has to be "at par" with migo's lorenzo miguel. so something spanish/italian/filipino. no american names please. a saint's name and and an angel's name preferred. suggestions will be greatly appreciated. (for the record though, if it's a boy, he will be alonzo miguel. nickname enzo.)

i already imagine how different it would be to take care of a baby girl. hmmmm.....

hug-a-mom-attack

there's this local tv commercial for vaseline lotion that shows kids "attacking" their moms for a hug. the jingle goes...."hug-a-mom-attack...monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday.... come on kids, hug your mommies....everyday...."

everytime migo sees this tvc, he literally bounces up from whatever it is he's doing and hugs me to bits. it's such a sweet gesture that i look forward to seeing the commercial everytime we're watching tv. we hug each other all throughout the entire 30 or 45 seconds. we don't break apart until it is finished and the next ad comes out. once, we were inside the bedroom and then when he heard the jingle from the tv next door, migo still jumped up and hugged me and he made me carry him to the tv set. then one time, when he stayed over at my mom and dad's house, my mom told me that he was playing in front of the tv in the sala when the commercial came out. she saw him look up, hesitate, (probably thinking i wasn't around for him to hug) then jumped at her and hugged her instead. my mom was teary-eyed.

moments like these bond me and my son in double. i always make a mental snapshot of the moment and hope i could hug my little one forever. makes me almost afraid that he's going to grow up pretty soon and there will come a time he would be hugging some other girl. still, moments like these make me realize that no matter how hard it is to be a good parent, all the hardships are worth it if you have at least one hug-attack per day. and i wouldn't mind more than one.

the number 2

today, the 2nd day of september 2005, cesar and i went to migo's school to get his very first report card. we were excited coz it's our first time to do something like this in our family life.

it turned out that migo is 2nd in his nursery class. of course, cesar and i are very very proud. considering that he started school at 2½ years old and he's the youngest in his class. cesar and i agreed not to pressure him into being number one, but then again we would strive to help him achieve it if he can.

today too, i went on my first visit to my OB for check-up of my 2nd baby in my tummy. learned that i'm on my 9th week of pregnancy which means i just finished my 2nd month. my new OB is dra. clemencia lasam. love her coz she's so easy to talk to. we already talked about scheduling my CS operation because i told her i don't want to experience labor pains again. i had to tell her the trauma i went through in 33 hrs of labor when i gave birth to migo 3 years ago. she also suggested ligation if i didn't want to have another baby after this. later, when cesar and i talked about it, cesar didn't like the idea.

anyway, today was a "2" day. nothing to it.