it's the second half of the year

seems too long ago since the last blog entry, and the one before that. but things seem to be looking up for these dwellers.

will update again when i have the time.

time flies

last post was in november 2008. it's april 2009 now.

lots of things have happened. more downs than ups but i survived. thank god.

downs:
1. the almost breakup. twice. last october and this february. i think i don't wanna document it anymore so let's just leave it at that.
2. mom and hubby not getting along at the start of the year.
3. migo's grades gone from bad to worse towards the end of last school year

ups:
- reconnecting with my soul twin because of #1.
- things are getting better this month regarding #1.
- the vacation at The Penthouse last wednesday to sunday.



recent downs:
- today julla is with me in the office. lost the nanny again. last week, she was diagnosed with primary complex. after the whole household underwent xray examinations, (as recommended by the pulmo-pedia to trace the cause of her sickness)we found out nanny has a spot in the left lung. so off she goes.

very recent ups:
- kuto is going....hell, yeah! oh but i don't wanna rejoice yet.
- migo taking taekwondo lessons. he started last tuesday. second class later today.

more thoughts next entry.

ek with migo tomrrow

i told migo just now that he and i are going to enchanted kingdom tomorrow. it’s a supposedly all-expenses paid trip for me and several officemates largely because of our participation in the F&H streetcast (fashion show) our company held few weeks back. it’s sort of a reward for the efforts we’ve put in to make the show a success. anyway, i asked today if i could bring my son along while i will shoulder his expenses for the trip. i figured i wouldn’t be enjoying a trip to EK without my kids tagging along. oh my, age is simply catching up on me! but then again, i guess i just always have that guilty feeling whenever i enjoy myself without them. it makes me happier if they enjoy it with me

anyway, when i told him, migo was immediately ecstatic. but i told him that it will be only just the two of us to which he sadly replied, “ ayyy…gusto ko kasama si julla tsaka si daddy.” my heart swelled right then and there. i can’t help but be touched by his overt disappointment at not being with his sister and dad at such a supposedly fun family activity. i am sad too, to think that I would honestly, actually enjoy it more if we went as a family.

so i told migo that it has to be only the two of us because if we brought Julla, we would have to worry about carrying her around and i won’t be able to take care of him since my focus would be more on julla. that more or less, convinced him. so he consented to go. just the two of us...with my officemates, of course.

tooth to go

migo's first milk tooth separated itself from his lower gums last friday, 19 september. as of today, a permanent tooth is peeking from where it was and another one behind the milk tooth beside it.

another milestone in my motherhood. my first born is growing out his milk teeth and getting the ones he'll be using the rest of his life. i don't know why i sigh at the thought. it makes me want to hold time still for a while and cherish these moments when he's young, innocent and so, so dependent on his mom. and i had to assure and reassure him a couple of times that it was just normal, that he was going through what every boy and girl his age does before they grow up to be big girls and boys.


and i? time will come that an older mother will tell me how, like the milk teeth, it is normal that he will eventually break away from my grasp. and like migo, i will have to be assured and reassured that every mother goes through that stage when her son becomes an adult.

sigh.

for the meantime, i am enjoying this present time.

nothing

it's been 3 months. it's never been the same week after week after week. it started the week after i recovered from my sickness and was discharged from the hospital. thousands wasted. went to naught. when will it ever end? will it ever end?

nature friendly me

chanced upon this in one of the websites i frequently visit at work. riding on the environmental awareness bandwagon, i share the sentiments of this bag.

makes sense, di ba lah?

A Love Letter from Migo

Front

Back

julla is sick, and so's the rest of us

julla is sick again. :( last time was the end of july which is about four weeks ago when our whole family got sick.

last night when i got home, she has 38.6 temp. she was coughing like there's gallons of phlegm inside her chest and she was sniffing all night. we had to put her on the "usok machine" this morning so her breathing could at least improve. we bought her antibiotics before i went to work today, the same one given her by her pedia last month.

i have colds as well. cesar too. and migo has cough and colds.

i don't like to think that eversince we moved to the new home, the family got sickly. it seems that way but it's also that time of year when everybody gets sickly, isn't it?

i'm goin home early.

lists

fun stuff i think i'm missing: my boss' birthday party last wednesday, my boss' daughter's baptismal tonight which i already know i won't be attending, opportunity to travel and meet more people, that honda crv, that iphone and ipod, that digital slr camera and all the other techie stuff i so want.

so let me go on with my wishlist. coz this blog entry is turning out to be just that. a home makeover would be really cool. a brand new laptop with broadband connection so i can take it and use it wherever i go. did i mention that crv? or any car for that matter as long as it's mine and i can use it anytime i want. kenneth cole watch but i think the one i want is no longer available. a trip anywhere where i can relax without worry.

and let me go on about my what-ifs. what if i married my high school boyfriend who's now a millionaire? what if i ran away to iloilo with my spring fling? what if i didn't stay too long at my previous job? what if i pursued an advertising career?

hmp...i'll get back to this later. brunch is served.

sound decision

i've been feeling a lot of mixed emotions lately. it seems i am trying my darnedest to cope with negative situations but only end up stressing myself more. my friend andre told me to "pray for guidance to come up with a sound decision." i do. i pray a lot. not in the religious way but in a way that i talk to god in my head and i know he listens to me and he talks to me...but i can't seem to get his message. or am i too caught up in everything that i fail to hear him. if i could just sit still......and listen....

for the record, yesterday migo participated in the school's quiz bee. he didn't win anything but i told him that to be part of the 15 contestants out of 90+ students was an achievement already in itself. he asked me if i am happy with him and of course, i said yes.

while i was bathing him early in the morning, before going off to school, we had this conversation:

me: anak, do you want me to accompany you to your quiz bee or can i go to the office?

(he has been clingy these past months and always, always requests me to stay home and not go to the office)

migo: mommy, just come with me to school and watch me at the quiz bee.
(eyes wide open, begging)

me: ok, but i will lose one day's salary. is that alright?

(i've already used up all my vacation leaves and sick leaves for the year, mostly because of him)

migo: at least, we're together.

that did it. no second thoughts. then he goes:

migo: will daddy get mad if you lose one day's salary?

me: of course not.

he grinned, satisfied with what he heard. i smiled, contented with my decision.

The Coke Effect

Two or so weeks ago, Migo asked me (quite sweetly) if he could drink Pop Cola along with his dinner. Although I was reluctant, I let him because it has been some time since he had softdrinks and I do want to give in once in a while.

Later, at bedtime, he couldn't sleep. And after dozens of stories & lullabies with no dozing effect, I fell asleep only to realize the next morning that Migo didn't sleep until very, very late.

This morning, after the 9-10am mass, the four of us dropped by SM to get Jollibee meals for Migo and Julla (which include regular size cups of Coke), a McDonald's Quarter Pounder for Cesar and a caramel sundae for me.

Back home, after literally devouring our Sunday brunch, at around 12 noon I told the kids it's time for an early afternoon nap.

Well, here's what happened....

I will have to keep this in mind from now on:
Never, ever give the kids Coke or any stimulating drink BEFORE going to sleep.

10 things to be thankful for despite getting sick for a week

10. on tuesday, i was at the hospital e.r. getting my blood and urine tested. my temp was 40 degrees, i couldn't sit up and all i could do was lie shivering on the e.r. table. cesar, although he wasn't feeling well too, was with me all this time. my mom was there too.

9. by 5pm, still on tuesday, i was to be confined to rule out dengue. there was no room available, only in the ward. there were still 8 patients waiting for a room. i chose to just go home and wait it out there until somebody checks out. my mom (bless her) who has her ways of getting what she wants, made a quick phone call. in less than an hour, i was being wheeled into room 604 -- private room with cable tv and telephone line. good enough.

8. on thursday, julla and cesar are sick too with fever and coughing. migo was in the pink of health.

7. on the same thursday afternoon, the pedia told us that julla has to be monitored too for dengue. that night, i coughed like crazy. i couldn't lie down flat on my back coz it's causing more cough. i prayed to God, please take away this cough. right after i said that, i took it back. "ok, i'll bare all this coughing, as long as julla gets well." whoever said God doesn't like to bargain? the next day, julla's temp was 37.1 and was playing as if she never got sick.

6. my coughing lasted overnight. at around 4am on friday, i turned on my bed and lay flat on my belly. perfect! the coughing stopped and i was, finally, able to sleep. at 6am, an intern came in to inject antibiotics into my iv so i awoke. she forgot to turn off the lights afterwards. i couldn't regain the sleep i wanted. well, who says you can have everything, huh?

5. friday morning, cesar is more sick than me or julla. but he's resting so he stayed away from the hospital the whole day. i had to content myself with reruns of house, guiness book or world records, numbers and other axn and hbo shows. but i was feeling lots better.

4. a warm bath on saturday morning. (i got sick monday so it's been a while.)

3. friends calling and visiting.

2. valid reason not to go to work. hahahah!

1. hmo took care of ALL my hospital expenses. finally, am well and resting at home on saturday evening. still felt weak but nothing compares to the warm hugs and kisses from my kids. i'm home.

mallrats

it is not often that we go to the mall in the evening. so this is one particular event that needs documentation. we left the house at 7pm and got back at 10pm.

mommy moment

these days i have been battling a dilemma.

migo (the son) has been unusually emotional and clingy. on separate occasions this past month, he told me that i always leave him. that he wants me to fetch him from school. that he wants me to stay home and not go to work. once, when i really didn't go to work, he was so happy to find me at home when he arrived from school.

today is a city holiday (valenzuela day) so he didn't have classes. a few days ago, when it was announced as such, his dad told him that he could go to my office with me (coz he's always been nagging me about bringing him with me to work). but this morning, i had to leave early to catch up on work and just a while ago, when i called home, he cried on the phone because i left him.

if only he knew that what i've always wanted was to stay home and take care of him and his sister. if only i could just quit this job and not have to worry about our daily expenses. if only i could spend more time with them. if only i could.

so here i am, in this place my friend andre calls a rathole. this place where i get my source of income. which provides for the family. for migo's daily expenses.

but not for migo's (and my) source of simple joy.

julla goes to work

little miss chari. boo. julla. 20 june 2008

back online

it's been a month since we transfered to our new home and was not connected to the internet. just two days ago, our connection is on again and i am finally freely able to access anytime i want at home.

things have been quite easier for me this past month. i wish i could say the same for migo. recently, he's been complaining that our new house is too plain, lacks furniture, boring...(well, that was before we got internet access) i told him he only thinks we lack furniture coz he was used to our old place which was very small so it seemed full of furniture. now that we have more space and still the same furniture, it seems a little bare. julla seems to enjoy the new place though. what with lots of floor area to throw around her toys, and lots of people everyday because of our customers. she's getting accustomed to strangers talking to her, making funny faces at her or pinching her cheek.

hubby cesar is a revelation. he's been actively working and giving his all to our new business and i am proud of him. well, he doesn't know that so anyway, maybe i should tell him.

our life changed drastically over the last month. i am hoping and praying it's gearing up for the better. i always knew God did things in His own time. and i am thankful for the graces.

our new dwelling

so we moved to the new dwelling last wednesday, 04 june 2008. the first three days were utter chaos until the 4th day when there was already some semblance of a home. by sunday, we were going to early morning mass as a family, contented and thankful to God for our new living space.

it's our second week now and so far, things are getting better. although our living room is still stacked with softdrink bottles and the big videoke machine and we're still waiting for its pullout. but the shelves are already installed and the books put in their places. the aquarium has a new perch that looks really great at night when its light is turned on. we have yet to layout the walls with our different picture frames, migo's drawings, migo's certificates and what-have-yous. oh, and yes, we placed that frame with the praying hands with the inscription "god bless our home" on top of the door frame leading to the bedroom.

the bedroom so far is the best place to hang around in. the tv set is still there with the ps2 and dvd player so we spend some late nights watching movies. the computer is there too but we don't have internet connection yet so it's virtually useless right now. our wardrobe cabinet is just unbelievable because we got so much space! far cry from our old cabinet in the old dwelling.

so soon, i'll be talking about new furniture, i hope. but for now, we have to save money again. but i'm super glad everything's fine.

ABUNDANCE!

i attended this supposedly life-enriching 3-hour seminar last tuesday. meant to write about it but postponed it until today. many of the topics discussed were actually things many of us already know but fail to apply in our lives. i, for one, am guilty.

here are a few things though that i want to remember, and purposely implement in my life right now. this can be what you can call my mid-year resolutions.

*when you give, it comes back.
now, i will never, ever hesitate to give anybody anything that i know i am capable of giving. i will always be reminded of the scene where the hand that is holding on to something gives away what it is holding, only then is it able to receive an even greater thing.

*attitude decides the result. my "yes" means the job is half-done.
now, i will always, always think positive about everything. yes, i can rant for a few minutes in a negative situation but i will immediately make a turn-around and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, accept things that i cannot change, and GO WITH THE FLOW.

*control: my thoughts, words, anger, appetite, sexual desire.
now, i will start eating oatmeal either for breakfast or for dinner. i have to keep healthy as i know i am in my middle age already (boy, that was hard to admit!) and i have to control my appetite now more than ever.

abundance!! my shoutout for the second half of 2008!

migo, julla and ronald

so we were at mcdonald's sometime this past week.

i admit the only reason we decided to eat there was for the toys that go (supposedly free) with the happy meal. migo got himself a toy car and julla a rotating ball, something like that used by a gypsy. as of today, i think both toys are lost somewhere either under our bed or in the toybox.

sometimes i wonder why, despite knowing that buying them these toys is useless and a waste of precious hard-earned money, i still do. they have fun with it for a few minutes while at the resto but end up as part of a whole sea of mess once it gets home.

but still...

hubby and me

one of our...what should i call it... bonding days.

we went to quiapo church. a short prayer and off we went to our suppliers for our new business. years ago, he and i prayed at this same church when we requested for our first baby. little did we know that i was already pregnant at the time we were there. even if he didn't tell me, i know he prayed for our business. as i did. for it to become successful, for it to be a good source of providing for our family, for it to be our bond. aside from our marriage, that is.

we capped off the day with going to the grocery to buy a couple of items for the kids. nido fortified for migo, lactum 1+ and eq dry diapers (now size large finally) for julla. kids' shampoo, kids' toothpaste, kids' toothbrush, kids' body powder and kids' cologne. and two 1-liter bottles of C2 apple. a quick fastfood dinner of sharksfin and rice.

now home, he's downstairs chatting with friends, making the most of the time we have left in this community. pretty soon when we move to our new home and our new endeavor, he won't have much time for friends anymore.

but i know we're both happy with the way things are heading. things are definitely looking upfor this little family!