the dynamics of chari's stress

my status message last saturday in my facebook account goes: "....is stressing and de-stressing alternately."

last night, i finally found the right words to describe my present life, so i changed it to: "...is *still* stressing and de-stressing alternately."

this lifestyle is becoming unhealthy. i can become manic depressive anytime now. i need to get out of this. asap. but how does a helpless little girl like me defend herself from the outside world that permeates through the innermost recesses of her if-left-by-itself-contented heart?

my mom once told me that how i deal with my life is really a matter of choice. so i have to choose to be happy. i have to find joy in the simplest things and see the beauty in each person that i encounter. when i have a difficult situation in my hands, i should remember that no pain comes to anybody without a purpose.

so that should be enough to get me out of this rut i am feeling. but i'm in it one day then out the next...in again, out again..... yes, it's crazy. but everyday i get these unwanted feelings about my work and the things i'm supposed to accomplish.

good thing, my life at home has become quite stable these past two weeks. things are looking up for my hubby's business and we see some bright lights ahead. but in my career, i am in a tunnel waiting for when the exit will appear. or if it will appear at all. don't get me wrong. i love my job. i'm good at what i do, of that i am sure. but there's politics everywhere and it blurs the horizon for me. i am not the type who would try to get to the top at the expense of others and it so hurts me to see other people get stepped on. then again, i would tell myself, positively, that i should just let it go. don't let negative stuff affect me. so i feel better for a while. then, it creeps back into my system again. and the cycle continues...

so i await the day that i get over this. meatime, i de-stress...