alice

it's an ongoing debate inside my head if i wanna know what holds for me in the future or not.  sometimes i wanna.  sometimes i don't wanna.  

which led me to think of that skill of alice cullen's.  how she deals with it, knowing what will happen next.  it must be torture to know in advance the death of someone dear to you.  it must be fun though to know that you'll eventually marry the man of your dreams.  and it must be dreadful to know that you're gonna flunk your next exam.  and it sure beats not knowing you're gonna live happily ever after.

when i was very young, i wanted to be a teacher.  i remember standing in front of a huge blackboard at my dad's printing press, sitting my dolls and stuffed toys in front of me and teaching them english and math.  into my elementary years, i discovered i had a knack for the arts and towards high school, i found that one course in college that was related to the arts was architecture.  so i wanted to take that up instead.  

during the college entrance exams, i was dead set on getting into u.p.  college of architecture.  my mom told me to take other exams from other colleges just so i had other options.  so i took a bs psychology exam in ateneo, the only other school i wanted to go to, but didn't have architecture in their lineup of course.  

and another at ust college of architecture and fine arts which i was only forced to do by my mom because i always thought it was a school for promdis*.  unwillingly, i went that fateful day and sat in a classroom which was for fine arts examinees.  when the facilitator instructed those who are taking archi exams to transfer to another room, i rolled my eyes and said to myself f*ck it i aint going to this school anyway, and took the fine arts exam.

as you may already know, i finished my b.a. in fine arts major in advertising at u.s.t. and never regretted it.  well, sometimes i do think about what could have been had i gone to u.p and pursued architecture.  or if i had gotten up from that seat and walked to the other room.  or if i hadn't taken that u.s.t. exam in the first place.

and i wonder, had i known, like alice, what was gonna happen next, would i have embraced it or run away?

Love nothing but that which comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny. For what could more aptly fit your needs? ~ Marcus Aurelius

p.s. i'm thinking of getting alice's pixie hairstyle this weekend.  just as i told andre about it, he said noooo, it's so 90s!!

what if i didn't tell him and gone on to get it?


The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Soundtrack