Thursday, October 24, 2013


this is what i posted on facebook this morning as i rode a cab on my way to work.  the caloocan division meet in taekwondo was held yesterday and the little big man got a silver.  i've been putting off posting the result since last night coz i didn't know how to "announce" to the world the result.  coz when you think about it, when you get a silver, it means you didn't get the gold.

the little big man did NOT get the gold.  but migo knew he got the gold.  we knew he got the gold, our coach knew he got the gold, the referee knew he got the gold.  DAMN IT, EVEN HIS OPPONENT KNEW MIGO GOT THE GOLD.

but he didn't.  the scorers didn't see it the way everybody else saw it.

and that's what makes me want to give out a prolonged high-pitched cry of a combination of pain, grief and anger.  had he gotten the gold, he would've been on his way to the NCR (national capital region) games where if he won, he would've gone on to compete in palarong pambansa.  which is what he has always wanted.


i remember myself praying repeatedly in my head "ibigay mo sa kanya 'to Lord, ibigay mo sa kanya 'to Lord.." the whole time i was recording on video the game.  when i saw the final decision, i wanted to break down but i held on and completed recording.  i looked at the little big man's face void of emotion.  but i knew, i knew, he was too disappointed to speak. 

but i know too that God's reason for this is that He has far more opportunities to give to my little big man.  the way he has matured in this game, the way he has worked hard to be where he is now, i know that soon he will realize his dream of becoming an undisputed champion.

for now, the gold is his determination to move on and keep training and learning and doing his best.  he has that gold.

i'm never gonna give up the way i know he will never give up.  just you wait and see.

Sometimes by losing a battle, 
you find a new way to win the war.
~ Donald Trump

Monday, October 21, 2013


i was in the gym last week waiting for my little big man and little girl who were in taekwondo training.  the coach's daughter, 6 years old engaged me in a no-nonsense conversation which went on like this:

coach's daughter sits beside me on the bench then says,  what did you look like when you were a child?

me, after thinking for a few split seconds, i looked like julla when i was a child. 

she turns to look at my daughter julla who was busy with their taekwondo drills out on the mats.  then she turns back at me, you looked like that?

yes, but i was darker.

she turns to look at julla again then back at me.  then bluntly, she says, you're black.

of course, i was quick to retort, calmly,  i'm not black.  i'm brown.

she looks at julla again then says, julla is light brown.


Monday, October 14, 2013


our little family went on a roadtrip last weekend to orani, bataan. we went to celebrate the feast of our lady of the rosary, which not many of you know, is where my first name rosario was derived from by my dad, who is a devotee.

we went to the 11am mass and afterwards, watched the banda ng mosiko, while my dad related his stories to my kids about how it used to be when he was young there in their town.

then we went to my cousin's house and had lunch.  

best part of the day were the kids enjoying their short but fun time bonding with their cousins that they didn't want to go home when it was time.  the little big man was literally begging me to let him stay overnight.  of course, that wasn't possible so hubby and i promised them we'll come back on the 31st and stay overnight.  i understand how much they long to be with their cousins and i'm glad they've built friendships and bonds with them that will last forever.

"a cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."

Monday, October 07, 2013

love in its simplest form

today i'm talking about love in its simplest form.  it's been a while again that i have not blogged.  many good and not so good things have happened which i have failed to document in this blog.  but yesterday, God sort of nudged me a bit that made me want to write (blog) about it.

my little family and i were at sunday mass which was packed full.  the kids and i fit in a pew while the hubby was in the pew in front of us.  beside him was a much more little family than ours.

a man, two sons.  one son had down syndrome.  the other was normal, around 18 years old.  

since they were right in front of me, i could see their little gestures and affectionate pats on the arm, loving smiles and the dad's sweet kiss on his son with down syndrome's cheek.  they were a picture of a happy, contented family who loved one another dearly.  i wondered where their mom might be?

later, hubby told me, since he was sitting beside the normal son that he saw him show his brother his cellphone, took his brother's hand and let him touch with his fingers the touchscreen phone.  and it brightened his brother's face.

wow.  love.

i took this as an opportunity to make sermon my kids again as to how they should be loving each other.  of course, as always, they didn't seem to be listening to me.  but i know in my mind that they are keeping these life lessons in their hearts.

“I sustain myself with the love of family.”