Thursday, September 24, 2015


Today my mom asked me to move back to our family home. The home where I grew up in. The home where only she and my Dad are living in now. That old home that I left many years ago and have started to call "my mom and dad's house" instead of home.

A year ago, my Dad was hospitalized for the first time in his entire life. It triggered the start of many medical checkups that found him with liver cirrhosis and end stage liver cancer. On New Year's Day of 2015, while on our way to Tagaytay with my brother's family, he was hospitalized again becuase he was vomitting blood. Many tests and check ups and consultations thereafter, in August of this year, he underwent RFA (Radiofrequency Ablation) wherein a needle was stuck in his tummy towards the tumor in his liver to burn the mass. Masses, prayers, trips to PAdre Pio Shrine is what my Dad believes to be keeping him from anything worse.

The doctor said this month that my Dad can eat anything he wants. This is so he would at least eat. Because he hasn't been eating full meals for the past 6 months! And Dad thinks he's completely healed. Because, according to him, why would the doctor tell him to anything he wants if he's still sick?

So there goes my Mom asking me to move back. I know what it means. She doesn't want to be alone to face the inevitable. And I don't know if I'm strong enough to face it with her.

Friday, September 04, 2015

Stage mom feels 2

Still on that beauty pageant a few days ago. Just for the record.

I was taking a video of the Q&A. The son's question was about how he will boast about his country. He was cool and composed and didn't seem rattled or lost for words, but his answer was way off.

From my left side, I heard someone (perhaps a mom of another contestant) say, ang layo naman ng sagot.

I had to restrain myself from hitting her with my left. You know that feeling when an ambulance alarm starts ringing in your head and heat quickly crawls up from your neck to your face to the top of your head? That's what I felt and if not for the videocam I was holding up, I really would've hit her in the face sideways with my left.

Mothers. You know what I mean.

the hubby

Last week, the hubby, calling through a payphone from where he is, told me he had high blood pressure.


I asked him how he was feeling and if he had medication and when he will be able to see a doctor given his circumstances.

After this he spoke seriously:
Pag nawala ako...kung mawala ako and papalitan mo ko...wag kang pipili ng kagaya ko ha.

I said ok but tears welled up in my eyes. I haven't cried about our situation for the longest time now. But this. I pushed back the tears.

What can I say?