Speedblogging

Ok so I'm blogging while inside a cab on my way to work. Yeah the last one was while I was having a pedi. It seems that I have found that these situations are opportunities to write (blog) my thoughts and musings and whatever.

Anyway, yesterday I found out our company has a new HR Manager who was introduced the day before, when I skipped work. So I didn't get to be introduced to her.

So I was thinking...how would I introduce myself to her, in a speech of some sort?

Hi, I'm Chari. I'm the Product Development Manager of Denim & Bottoms. I've been with the company longer than anybody else, except for the owner's relatives and friends.

Geez. Statement. Pathetic.

the ice cream maker

it's the kids' 4th day without school. semestral break. the little girl's been begging me to bring her with me to the office and i've promised her that she can go to the office with me today. just because.

early on, the office has issued a memo no longer allowing employee's children in the premises. it was brought about by an incident among the owners' relatives who fought over one of the kids. long story. so anyway, before going to work with my little girl in tow, i told her that in case the guard does not allow her inside, we will have to go home.

when we got there, guard was all smiles. we went in smoothly without question. officemates who missed her since she was there a lot last summer, were so glad to see her. immediately, i set her on the table behind me doing some papercraft. she was well-behaved and wasn't a nuisance at all.

then one of the HR personnel called my attention about the memo. i immediately said i'll just leave the office with my daughter. it wasn't a big deal really. i knew it was coming but i just took the chance since everyone in the office knew i always bring her there whenever she had no classes.

i decided to take it as an opportunity to bond with her so i told her we will go to the mall instead. perfect timing cause it was already 10am. as we walked out of the office, the little girl started sobbing, saying "i'm sorry mommy, i'm sorry mommy..." i appeased her, telling her it was ok, it wasn't her fault. but she kept on saying i'm sorry as tears fell down her cheeks. i hugged her to me and reassured her that it was ok and we will just enjoy our day.

we ended up in toy kingdom. 

we ended up with a toy ice cream maker.

later, she apologized to her dad as well. she was actually afraid to tell her dad about it and was teary-eyed again as she explained to her dad that she didn't want it to happen. again i told her it was alright. 

then she asked, pano yan san ka na kukuha ng money? wala ka nang work?

and it dawned on me, the reason why she was sooo sad was all the while she thought i lost my job because she went to the office with me. 

this made me a bit mad at what happened. this made me want to get back at that wretched office policy for not allowing my kid in there. i could only imagine the trauma my little girl felt all these hours since morning!

and so i told her over and over again that it wasn't her fault and that i didn't get fired. my dear daughter..... 

so we made ice cream instead.

Children are happy because they don't have 

a file in their minds called "All things that could go wrong."

~Marianne Williamson

the aftermath

Every morning since June 9 the first day of school, I look forward to a view like this. 

Well not necessarily this as in this coz this pic was art directed and posted on my Instagram account. But every morning, I look forward to that moment when the kids have boarded the school bus and I am back on the dining table staring at the leftovers of a hurriedly-eaten, half-eaten  or uneaten breakfast. In this case, empty mason jars of milk.

Usually I wake up at 4:30am -- more or less -- depending on last night's episode of Pinoy Big Brother or if it took me long browsing Facebook/Instagram or if I stayed up farming on Hayday. The first thing I do is iron the kids' uniforms. Then heat up water for their bath. Put together a nice, healthy (yeah right) breakfast. 

I wake the little girl first. Actually I carry her to the bathroom and wake her with the first splashes of water. After her, I wake the little big man. And while he bathes, I drag the little girl to the dining table and force feed her. I check their school bags. I pack their snacks. I try never to forget the little girl's water. I make sure to put lunch money in the little big man's pockets. Then he comes out for his breakfast. They try to annoy each other which takes up some time. I flare up a bit. I make them drink milk and vitamins. I have to remind them, always, to brush their teeth.

Before we know it, the school bus is downstairs. So we head out and then, just like that, they're gone.

Leisurely, I would go back upstairs. Sit somewhere, give a deep sigh of relief. This. Is. This. The aftermath of the beginning of my day.

Then I would load up the washing machine while watering the plants. I would clean up the mess on the dining table, wash dishes, fix the bedroom, go back outside to rinse and hang the clothes from the washing machine. I would sneak in a few minutes of Instagram and Hayday. I would fold clothes from the previous day's laundry.

After all of this is the time when I will take a bath, clean my nails and get ready for work. By 7:30am, I'm off to the office.

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

Now let's talk about when I get back at home in the evening. And not to mention, my day at work.

Note To Self

last night, i posted this on my facebook wall and pondered upon it.

today, i talked to our company's hr manager and shared it with him -- somehow letting him know that this is my mindset for now regarding the current goings-on in the company. 

maybe another mantra in connection to this is this song that my little girl has been busy memorizing and singing almost every hour that she's awake:

my advice -- to myself -- since i guess i don't see myself leaving the company in the very near future, is to go with it, do my best, shun negative thoughts. Work.

An Abraham Lincoln quote

This is just to start off my Friday morning. Looking forward to the weekend.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak  by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by encouraging class hatred. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

Everyday Things That Affect Your Mood

this new year, i've decided to let go and let live.  i don't want my fears or anger or any negative thoughts to rule over my decisions and actions.  i will concentrate on the positive of my life and work and family.

and this video just gave me a simple way to adjust my attitude towards everything that i encounter daily.  thanks, yahoo.

New Year

Oh yeah, I was supposed to blog about a few things....

It's a New Year in different ways for me so let me run down those "few" things I wanted to blog about for the last 3 months that I was in hiatus from this blog.

New school year.  The little big man, who is 10 years old, is now in 6th grade.  Schoolyear 2013-2014.  Can you believe that?  I must change the picture on the top of this blog soon.  That was so 5 years ago.  (I guess)  And the little girl, who is 7 years old, is in 2nd grade.

CPU and external hard drive are dead.  Yes, 2 weeks ago, my Seagate 500gig external hard drive containing most of my family pictures for the last 8 years, just went kaput.  And just this weekend, our family's personal computer crashed.  I need to start over.  I don't need to tell you how devastated I am about all that I've literally lost.  I did not shed tears but you can imagine my insides falling apart piece by piece as the computer tech told me that none of my data stored in all of that can be retrieved.  

Back  to old coach.  The little big man started training again with his former taekwondo coach.  Yeah, the one who disowned him some 2 years ago.  We've been wanting to communicate with him for the past year and the few times we've connected in some tournaments, he was friendly enough for us to eventually tell him that we wanted our little girl to start training with him.  And then he asked, what about the little big man?  So we took it as an invitation for us to come back and train with him again.  And we did.  There's no turning back.  So last May, both kids went into rigid 4 times a week training with him.  

Home-grown.  In connection with that training, the little girl , after training for about 3 weeks, went into her first official tournament, albeit a mini-tournament.  It was so mini that she did not have an opponent in her category who is a girl.  So, the organizers pitted her against boys.  Yes, she sparred with 2 boys within her height range.  And she won over both. Her first official gold medal in taekwondo has been sealed.

New business.  So after all the ups and downs of the previous year, the parents helped hubby and I put back together the canteen.  It's now located in our own yard converted into a cozy enough, decent enough canteen for students and for the neighborhood.  We called it Joy Avenue Foodstore, derived from our street name, Ligaya Street.  

Work-related.  Last December, the office renovation got semi-completed and my department was moved back up to the 2nd floor.  My new place is right in front of the door leading to the warehouse.  Last April, my Chinese friend and supplier noticed I'd been sickly the last couple of months.  I told her it was probably because of the crazy schizophrenic weather and that I was seated in front of the door that pushes in warm air everytime it opens and closes.  To this, she was appalled.  She said, in Feng Shui, it is bad luck to be working right in front of a door because the negative energy is right at you.  Aside from that, my back was towards the door so I could be prone to back-stabbing, literally and figuratively.  For this, I requested my bosses if we could have a wall put behind me to block the door, to which they immediately said yes.  But to this day, 2 months later, still nada.  

Still work-related but on the side.  I tried to revive SALT last February but my full-time job just keeps me too busy and tired.  So after a few successes for 2 months, I am lying low on this biz again.  My time will come.

Babies.  My younger brother has a new baby.  Cheska was born last March.  My PD Officer Jacq is pregnant and is due in late July or early August.  Her baby's name is gonna be Yuri.

I know I have a lot more to update but this will be all for now.  I will try my best to blog often so I won't forget.

realize

just after my blog entry last wednesday, about choosing to be happy, i received a call about a job interview.  it's been a while that my friend from that company has asked me if i wanted to try it out with them. 

to make a long story short, i went to that interview, was given a job offer on the same day, was asked to start immediately on december 1.  and i was left with a realization.

that i seriously did not want to do it.  that getting the same job as i have right now is no longer what's in my heart.  and i knew, the decision has been made a long time ago.  i only needed this to know, for sure.

choose to be happy

as much as a lot of things should be depressing me right now, i am choosing to be happy.  a lot of things are happening that are not favorable, if not downright unpleasant and unwanted.

work, for one thing, has become a roller-coaster ride gone awry.  by that, you'd think i'm exaggerating.  but no.  it has indeed become the weirdest place on earth.  there have become new policies, restrictions and people who i cannot fathom as to why those things happened.  sorry to say, boss, if you're reading this.  i have been dedicated to my job in the company for the last 5 years.  5 YEARS!  most of the things promised me years ago have gone to naught and some benefits i had were retracted.  in its place, doubts to an upward career path.  i'm not ungrateful though.  there are some things that the company has given like the 5pm off in place of my favorite flexi schedule.  (i hated it when they told us no more flexi schedule but like all lowly employees, i did not have a choice!)  

this morning, it took me the whole ride to the little big man's school before i decided if i wanted to go to work or not.  coz i honestly, did NOT want to.

i do not wish to enumerate anymore because, like i said, i'm choosing to be happy.  i will look forward to a better day today.  maybe clean my table and start fresh or something.  

or maybe, i'll go home by lunchtime. 

Man is fond of counting his troubles but he does not count his joys.  

If he counted them up as he ought to, 

he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.

~Fyodor Dostoevsky

those days

today is one of those days.  i am so not into what i'm doing.  i am shamelessly chatting online and now, posting a blog while i am at work and i don't care.  

and this exchange between one of my chatmates and i made me laugh so hard it drove the blues away.  well, for a few seconds at least.

i think i need a change of something.

little girl's wish / little mom's wish

last night, before going to sleep, the little girl begged me again not to go to the office anymore.  she's been telling me this for the last couple of months already.  the last few times, including last night, she was in tears.

my heart so ached.  

yesterday, before this happened, i attended her Buwan ng Wika celebration at her pre-school where she participated in the Tagisan ng Pagbigkas ng Maikling Kwento in which she won 3rd Prize.  she related the story of Ang Kuneho at ang Pagong.  i made a cardboard turtle's shell and fixed on her left with a turtle nose and tail.  on her right was a rabbit ear on her head a nose and tail too.  and she presented her story b turning each side whenever each animal spoke.  it wasn't perfect yet because she fumbled on some statements and giggled when she made mistakes.  but it was a good start.  for all of you who know the little girl well, i know you're surprised by this.  it is her first time to actually participate in a school activity where she will have to perform by herself in front of parents, teachers and classmates.  hubby and i are so proud of her. 

i know though that she could've done better had i been consistently practicing her.  had i been always with her, and not at work everyday. 

one day soon, my child.  i promise.

misadventures of a working mom

i'm a trying hard working mother.  this much i know.

last week, i convinced the powers that be at work to let me off early (for the rest of my working life at that company) for the reason that i get to the office earlier than necessary.  so officially, i'm off at 5pm instead of 6pm and i am on my merry way home before sunset.  eversince they removed our privilage of flexible time schedule, this is what i've always wanted and now i got it and i'm happy.  at least now, i can be with my kids early.

last night was a toink moment.  something i'm not very proud of.  

of course, i was home early and i immediately started workin tle computer on a project.  since i was early and the nanny still gets off at 7pm, i let her and the little girl play while i worked.  by 7pm, i let her go while the little girl stayed with me inside the bedroom while i continued working.

after a while, i heard the little girl sobbing and as i turned to look at her, she broke down in tears.  she then told me in between sobs that i shouldn't have let her nanny off coz she doesn't have anything to do and she was sad.  so i immediately bolted out of the revolving computer chair, wrapped my arms around her and told her we could play.  to which she replied, "eh mommy ka eh. di ka naman naglalaro eh!"

my heart literally broke.  how could she think that way?  i hugged her to me and told her, of course, i can play.  so what do you want us to play?  in my mind, i was hitting myself in the head with my fist.  what have i done?  i knew i should stop working at that moment and spend the rest of the evening with her, which i should've done the minute i got home in the first place.

we went to the living room and the little girl got 2 balls and she wanted us to alternately roll each ball at each other while slumped on the floor on opposite ends of the room.  i tried to sound happy and animated as we did this but after a few rolls, she started bawling again.  i am not happy at what we're doing!

i came over to her again to appease her.  i carried her to the bedroom, holding her close and asked her again what she wanted us to do.  she said she wanted to play or do something but she doesn't know what.  ok, so let's see....what do we do?  how about the computer? 

she settled with an online game where we played hosts in a virtual spa and tended to customers who wanted massages, facials and hair treatments.  we did this the rest of the evening until the hubby and little big man arrived from taekwondo practice.

looking back, and after telling this to the hubby, i realized that the reason why i requested for an early off from work is so i can "do my responsibilities as a mother" early.  i didn't do that.  instead, i worked some more.  i know now what to do.

see andre, i'm not perfect?

the pains of nanny-less me

i'm so stressed.  and it's only 7:30 in the morning!!

and i am entirely blaming it on not having a nanny for over two weeks now.  she took a leave because her mother is ill and she has to take care of her and other responsibilities concerning her health benefits and documents.

this morning, the kids' uniforms were not dry yet.  blame it on the continuous rain for the last couple of days and yes, no nanny to regularly check if there is uniform ready for the next day.  the hubby had to spin dry them while i took care of getting the kids out of bed, bathing them, making them drink their milk, brush their teeth.  literally, step by step, i had to tell them what to do!  despite they've been doing the same routine everyday!

then when we brought the little girl to school, she didn't want to be left there because nobody was there yet since it was too early!  so we had to drag her and bring first the little big man to his school and then bring her back just in time to be at least 20 minutes late. and since this is the case, the hubby cannot drive me to work coz he has to bring her back asap.

spell stress.  now at work.  my day has just begun.  wish me luck.

quota

in the retail business where i'm at, there's such a thing called quota.  every month, each department is required to meet a minimum amount of sales that will total the desired sales for the month of the brand.

last december, my department reached 137% of our quota, which gave me great pride in what i do.  after that, the next months till today, the highest we ever reached was 92%, in which times i've  suddenly questioned my capacity to make saleable jeans.

this past week, there have been sales issues in the office and i heard of a meeting amongst the vp for finance, accounting manager and merchandisers.  it turned out that my department was, to quote the accounting manager, the healthiest among the departments.  she said that, although we did not reach our quota the last 6 months, there is a steady growth in our sales per month. further, we do not have "sleeping" inventory, we don't give too high discounts during sale events aside from having a healthy profit margin in the products we sell.  which means, we are contributing to sales more than we thought.

big smile on my face.  can you say that again, nem?

i would like to believe that i'm the best at what i do.  it's something i think i can do even in my sleep.  sometimes, i even think it's too easy.  but sometimes, i feel so unappreciated and taken for granted and i get discouraged and think maybe i'm getting old for this job.

but having told of this development at work made me gain back the confidence and respect i have for what i do.  it also reaffirmed that i am doing the right thing.  it's like a pat on the back that made me want to strive even more to outdo myself and it gave me more reason to continue what i do.

folded&hungjeans pre-holiday collection at f&h stores this august.  check it out.

Julla@Work

the little girl striking a pose at my desk at work

i brought julla to work today.  migo had badminton at 7:30 in the morning and would be going to taekwondo practice at 6:00 in the evening.  i figured the poor girl had no activity for the day so i decided to bring her along.  besides, the new nanny is still -- what... new, so i don't want to leave her alone with her yet.  yes, inang yaya mode it is.

with tita nem

we ordered mcdonald's for lunch.  around 2pm, i was with a supplier downstairs when she decided to ask her tita nem for milk and later on fell asleep on her lap.  i was kinda surprised coz she usually never sleeps without me around, lest of all, new people around.

we left the office at 3pm. when we got home, migo hugged us both and whispered, sa susunod ako naman sama mo sa office ha.  i gladly said yes.  i love that they love being with me, wherever i go.

10 Reasons (Side B)

I've decided, after my previous blog entry, that I have to make another list. Of the opposite. And since I did not complete the 10 reasons why I love going to work, I expect that this time, I may have more than 10 reasons why I hate going to work. So here goes.

10. Traffic. Yes, I live in the outskirts of Metro Manila. It takes me 45 to 60 minutes to commute to work depending on how heavy the traffic is in EDSA. If by car, I can take alternate route in the sidestreets of Caloocan and make it in less than 30 minutes, but unfortunately, I still do not have my much coveted dream vehicle.

9. Going home at night. There are days when just as I arrive at work, I wish it's time to go home.

8. Aero at 6:30 in the morning Tuesdays and Thursdays. Jogging/brisk walking at 6a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Would rather do this than commute to the office at these early hours.

7. What to wear, AGAIN?

6. Missing Facebook and Farmville. (All social networking sites and games sites are blocked by a firewall at the office. Boo!)

5. Knowing (at the back of my mind) that others are paid better for doing nothing or not doing their job well. (At the risk of my boss and his relatives reading this, may I say, Sir, with all due respect, that it sucks.)

4. Annoying people. Why the heck did they hire such people? (Phew)

3. Would rather sleep. (Needs no explanation.)

2.

1. Hubby or Migo or Julla whining Mommy don't go to work. That always always does it, I'm off for the day.

When i think about it, I guess it's not so bad going to work. Coz I actually had a hard time completing 10 slots.

10 Reasons

It's a Monday and finding no valid reason not to go to work, I carefully removed my young daughter's leg haphazardly thrown over mine, dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. I'm going to work, I told hubby. He didn't look surprised. I guess he expects me to do so after having used up all of my SLs for the year. And it's only November. (And I'm saving my last 3 VLs for December.)

Anyway, I'm here at work now, finding nothing important to do but wait it out for my samples from suppliers for the upcoming fashion show.

Blog is what I'll do for now. And to start myself rolling for the week, here are 10, not necessarily good reasons, why I love my work. Yes, TEN. So help me God.

10. I get fixed monthly income. I don't know if my pay is above, at par or below industry standards but as long as I get that bi-monthly deposit in my atm, I think I'm quite fine.

9. I believe I'm good at what I do. After years of seeing, breathing and living garments I think I can safely say that.

8. Up until now, at 62, my Mom works. She still goes to the office everyday, even on Saturdays, sometimes stays late to finish up, never misses a workday unless she is confined in the hospital or there is an important family activity that she has to attend. She doesn't complain and in fact, tells me often that she is always thankful that she has work to do. I CANNOT, in my right mind, tell her I don't want to work.

7. Surprise perks. I never really know what to expect next.

6. Friends. The people around me are a source of mental and creative stimulation. Well, not all of them. I am surrounded by young people who update me with whatever I am not exposed to but should know, being in this industry. I become and stay young.

5. Free fashion advice. And the resources too.

4. Good bosses. Generally speaking.

3.

2.

1. I don't have a choice. I was born to work. I can't stand not being productive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, so after a couple of hours, I can't complete the list. So I'll leave it at that. Have a gLeeful week ahaead!

love

got this from a forwarded email.....

"No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
No one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE."

work

today...well.... yesterday october 16, i am already 1 year working in f&h. i could say that over the last year, i've improved and gained more knowledge and at the same time, contributed a lot to the company's growth. i just hope my boss' evaluation of me will reflect that too.

a lot has been happening lately. sir doc, the owner just got back from a trip to europe and we've been in and out of meetings with him everyday since he got back on october 1st. and everyday since, i've been in front of my computer (whenever there's no meeting) trying to compute and re-compute our sales projections, ordered jeans, schedules of deliveries, which orders can be slid down to next year, etc. it has been a taxing past two weeks! to add to that, the pressure of the new policies being implemented by management and the impending politics being orchestrated by one or some. it's frustrating that on top of all the problems, some people still want to make life harder for most of us for some people's personal gain.

but like i said to my former office buddies, there definitely isn't a perfect company where you can work in. so we just have to accept these things and try to deal with it. if you can't beat 'em, join 'em..... or get the hell out.

the little one

he wakes up sometimes screaming. oftentimes, he wakes up with a sheepish smile on his face and when we greet him "good morning", he replies in his not-yet-so-articulate "du-moyning, mummy.... du-moyning, duddy."

today he woke in the latter manner. we started the day oggling at our brand new compaq presario which we bought with loaned money (courtesy of my mom & dad) yesterday. as i prepared to leave for work, he was having fun listening to some mp3s while enjoying the sight of his face as the wallpaper of the compaq.

when the time came that i have to leave for work, the tantrums came. he started crying and screaming his lungs out. tears were real. he wasn't just acting. he didn't want me to leave. "tama ato opi?" he requested. my heart broke. i wished i could. or at least, i could stay with him.

but it's the way it is. we both have to learn to accept that i have to go to work, he has to be left at home with his nanny. that is why i never fail to spend quality time with him whenever i could. weekends are usually spent with him and for him. his dad & i always makes sure of that.