Rite of passage

Today is one of those days. The nanny hasn't come back from her supposedly 2-week vacation. Last week, my boss told me not to be absent from work for the rest of the month. The little big man has to go to school to finish clearance for his 7th grade before release of his report card this week. 

So this morning I had to leave the little girl at home with Ima. I knew she was sad because she will be left at home to fend for herself. Ima is virtually non-existent in terms of being a guardian to her, but at least she's there to be with.

When Migs and I went downstairs, I heard the little girl calling out following us downwards. I stopped and thought she might be crying out of sadness. When I met her at the foot of the stairs, she came to me and in a hushed voice, asked:

Mommy, pwede ako maglaba?

I broke into a smile. 

Back story: Last week, she watched me do the laundry using our washing machine and said she wanted to do it.

So I dropped Migs at school and got to work. Once there, I received a message from the little girl: 

This day marked the day my little girl became a grown-up.

just another weekend

Hello Monday morning!

It was a productive weekend. By that I mean, I was able to finish 4 weeks worth of laundry including 3 bedsheets. I bought new curtains.

I bought two new cacti and a potted giant rose plant.

I didn't do my tryinghardchef stint this time, except for the mandatory buttered shrimp for the little girl. But I did buy a tom yum soup pack for next weekend's shrimp. For a change. 😊 I also bought Yummy, a recipe magazine so I'm sure to try out new food this week. I am excited about that.

Kids and I attended The Feast Valenzuela again yesterday (2nd time this month). So heartwarming. Kids think we should attend it every week. Which makes me really glad that they like worship.

We haven't gone to taekwondo training for 3 weeks. It feels sad not to be able to go and letting my kids' "athleticity" go to naught. But last night Mommy O called and said the coach wants the little big man in the national tournament on the 26th. That's two weeks away so we gotta work up our schedule to be able to train.

So I'm off to a brand new week. Wish me luck. Good vibes only. God's will, God's time.

growing plants

i am not into plants. i'm into pets but i don't have a pet because i cannot take care of one, what with my hyperactive, choleric, type A personality kids who take up my time and energy. i do not want plants in my life as much as i don't want pets because of the responsibility they bring.

but i've been watering my mom's plants daily for over a month now. i don't have a choice because they are placed in the front yard of our little penthouse for the longest time and there is no one to take care of them now but me. so just this summer, i get up at 5:30 in the morning to water them. everyday.

and i dunno... i've grown a slight attachment to them. i pick out dried leaves and weed out those unsightly grass that grow here and there.  i got guilty when i went on vacation for 2 days and i got home and some of them dried up a bit. i also began to treat my daily watering chore as a form of exercise, what with me dipping the tabo in the timba for each potted plant. and boy, have i got a lot of potted plants to pour into so you can just imagine how many times i bend over and carry each tabo of water to each plant.

anyway, this morning, i was in awe to find most of "my" plants healthy and.... flowering!

over the last month, i've grown too with my plants. just as i did my best to nurture them, i nurtured myself. i've learned to be self-reliant now more than ever. things i never did before on my own, i can now do by myself. cooking. laundry. house-cleaning. more recently, driving. and basically, managing my household. i have re-affirmed that God gave me trials and hard times for me to become a better person. just as those plants experienced dry season, they are now blooming in summertime.

yeah. me. blooming in summertime. :)

belated happy mother's day to me.

A garden requires labor and attention. 

Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions.

They thrive because someone expended effort on them.

~Liberty Hyde Bailey

mommy matters

resilience.  i feel this word.  i want it to drench me in its meaning.

i've never felt more "mom" than i have been the last couple of days.  i was on leave for 3.5 days last week to physically take care of the kids' needs, without a nanny and without a husband.  

last tuesday, i had to leave work midday to fetch the little big man because classes were suspended while the little girl was sick at home.  from that day onward, i prepped them every morning, brought them to school, fixed the house and did errands, fetched them later and had dinner somewhere or at my parents'.

over the weekend, i spent time at our canteen while finishing "fifty shades of grey."  i haven't read a whole book (novel) for the last 4 or 5 years and it felt really good although i wasn't too fascinated with the story of this one.  sunday the kids and i went to morning mass, had lunch at max's and spent a quiet afternoon and evening.  to top all that, i cooked dinner.  

and cooked breakfast and "baon" the next three days till today.  and i think i'll be doing that for the rest of my life because i realize i love doing it for the kids.  

i did some laundry and ironing too last week for the kids' uniforms.  but i did arrange with the laundry woman to come every monday since i know for a fact that i will not be able to handle that on a regular basis. 

i arranged for the kids' school service so that i wouldn't have to worry about them while   i'm at work.  good thing the kids liked the idea although they have to prepare for school an hour earlier than when the hubby used to bring them by car.

i bought a can opener.  this is monumental for me.  because for a long time, i never had one because cans at home were always opened by the hubby or the nanny or the house help using a big knife.  but last monday, i was gonna cook meat loaf for the kids' baon and i almost ground the meat inside the can using that big knife to open it.  i also bought a new cutting board since i wanted to replace ours a long time ago but never gotten around to doing it because i wasn't the actual user of it, until now.  and guess what, i bought a flat "sandok" for frying.  i know i will be frying a lot these days so might as well get my own.

last night, i went shopping for food.  i always did that with the hubby before because he's the one who knows that stuff.  (if you've known me long enough, you'd know i'm not that kind of girl and that he's that kind of guy.)  but last night, i was picking which cooking oil to buy, getting a pre-packed dozen eggs, deciding on whether to get the boxed milk or the chocolate milk, buying potatoes and tomato sauce... i was actually thinking of cooking a real meal (which is giniling na baboy) and not just something out of a can or a foil pack.  

i am also making time to fix, clean, arrange things in the house.  little by little.  i am now aware that trash is being picked up every wednesday and saturday so i always have to make sure it's out our door those days.  i am also aware when the mineral water is running out so i can request for a delivery.  i have asked for the help of one of our helpers at the canteen to prep the little girl every morning.  i have also commissioned our cook to make our dinner everyday.

one of my mom's borders offered to assist the little girl with her homeworks and study and although i do like to do that with her, i welcomed the kind help, silently thanking God for all of the good things that He's giving me and my family.

it surprised me that i could actually do things by myself.  and the things that i can't do, i am able to ask for help.  and i felt more fulfilled than i ever was.  it's tiring, i admit, waking up at 4:30am everyday, squeezing everything we have to do the whole day to be able to put the kids to bed at 9:00pm.  but i do get a little "me" time too, a quick browse through facebook, an online old movie, sewing my kids' names on their hankies, game of thrones during lunch time at work, a new lipstick... a quick quip on twitter and this blog.  i guess i just might be blogging a lot more than i used to.

i feel like i'm starting over.  love life!

Resilience is the ability to work with adversity in such a way that one comes through it unharmed or even better for the experience. Resilience means facing life’s difficulties with courage and patience – refusing to give up. It is the quality of character that allows a person or group of people rebound from misfortune, hardships and traumas.

Resilience is rooted in a tenacity of spirit—a determination to embrace all that makes life worth living even in the face of overwhelming odds. When we have a clear sense of identity and purpose, we are more resilient, because we can hold fast to our vision of a better future.

mom "me"

i washed some of my kids' and hubby's clothes and underwear a little while ago.  two days of typhoon and a week's worth of laundry (due to the absence of my nanny/helper) summoned me to do it against my will.  i just did a few though to get the family through the weekend.  


i have a confession to make.  i can't believe i enjoyed it.  i'm not kidding.

it dawned on me as i was rinsing the suds off the little big man's P.E. t-shirt as i thought about how it should dry overnight cause he needed to wear it tomorrow.  (sorry we don't have a dryer.)  i wondered if our helper would thoroughly rinse our laundry or would she haphazardly do it just to get it over and done with.  as i thoroughly squished and squashed dirty socks, i imagined myself doing this everyday with only the thought that i'm doing it for my kids.  then it hit me:  i would rather do this than sit on my office chair right at this very moment.

then again, after finally saying it out loud (literally, with the larger fonts i used), it may be just because i don't do it everyday and maybe i felt the novelty of me washing clothes.  

earlier today, as i browsed the grocery for the stuff the little girl will be needing for tomorrow's school activities, i thought, what the heck, this is fun!  it gave me that sense of fulfillment that everything is taken cared of for my daughter and that i personally prepared everything for her.  thus,i am assured that she has everything she needs.  these things i couldn't have done, and the hubby wouldn't have done, had i didn't skip work today to take care of the little girl.

then again, maybe the hubby would've done it if i weren't around?  and i'm just using this as an alibi so i can resign from my job and be a stay-at-home-mom like i've always dreamed of?

whatever it is, i still think, as i've thought of for the last couple of months, that maybe i should really start thinking of a career that involves me staying with the family most of the time.  so there.  so shoot me, boss.