Tuesday, December 14, 2010


it was the little big man's 1st communion yesterday. 

Sunday, December 05, 2010

dear santa claus

my friend was telling me the other day about how old her kids found out the truth about dear old santa.  and i was telling her how kids suddenly are no longer kids when they find out, to which she agreed.

and now, here i am, feeling like a kid again, jotting down my christmas wish list.  after all, i am still a kid at heart.  so here goes nothing...

dear santa,

i know i've been good this year.  so please, please let me get what i want for christmas.  here's a list so you won't have a hard time thinking what to get me.

iphone 4g

you know i've wanted to replace my samsung d90 for some time now?  i love that it's dual sim but other than that, it doesn't really have anything else i like.  

macbook air
i have been considering handing down my asus eeepc to the kids.  and since i want an apple phone, might as well get anmacbook air right?  ok, santa, if you're on a budget, an ipad will do.  or an ipod touch....?

nikon d90

i know, i know... i'm selfish, i admit that i am.  i already got my nikon d3000 last august but you know i'd buy the d90 if i had more moolah.

and if you think that's still too much, a 55-200mm AF-S f/4-5.6G lens for my existing d3000 will do.

and if it's not too much to ask, dear santa, i wouldn't mind getting a brand new car.

so, that's basically what i want right now.  god, i love christmas!  it's the only time of the year when wishes come true!



Thursday, December 02, 2010

what we did on the 3-day weekend

and so, the last 3-day weekend before christmas has come and gone.  but the kids can't seem to get enough outings.  they're still rarin' to go wherever.  so we're planning more trips this december, a beach trip even, with the grandparents.

last saturday, we attended a family reunion with the hubby's relatives.  it wasn't very eventful but the big deal about it was that the kids met some of their cousins in that part of the family tree.  the little big man even found out he has cousins into taekwondo too and they had a blast performing a routine and some kicks as part of the talent portion of the program.

sunday was another taekwondo tournament in malolos, bulacan.  the little big man got a bronze.  he won 2 games then lost his third.  it was a little disappointing because he knew and we knew he didn't give it his best.  but then again, it's all part of the scheme of things, i guess.  but there's another story to this day worthy of another blog entry.

yesterday, we accompanied my mom and dad to my uncle's house (errr, mansion) in paombong, bulacan.  afterwhich had lunch at this small resto called yee fu.  then they bought stuff at sm marilao, being the mall closest to where we were.  then mom got some linoleum at that shop in karuhatan.  then more buying at that sort-of-like-divisoria place near our place.  

was generally a fun weekend.  tired but happy.


this is too sad.... but why does sadness, and tears for that matter, have a healing effect on me? 

Thursday, November 25, 2010


i was sick for two days and am back to work now but still feeling a bit woozy.  funny how everytime i don't wanna be away from work, that's when i get sick.  have a lot of things to do this week.  arggg.


when i arrived home with fever the other day, here's a conversation i overheard between the hubby and the little girl:

little girl is going downstairs to do something i forgot that her dad told her to do.  as she was going down, the hubby called out to her:  HOY!

the little girl looked back and shouted:  baket mo ko tinatawag na hoy!  anak mo ko ah.  baket hoy ang tawag mo sa 'kin!

the hubby, shamefully:  ay sorry, anak... anak... (sweetly)

this sent me into fits of laughter while i put on warm clothes and snuggled under the sheets.  sort of eased the headache a bit and then i fell asleep.

Friday, November 19, 2010


disclaimer:  i do not intend to brag in this blog post (although it may seem like it).  this post is for my own personal future reference.  just so i know and i will have something to look back on when i eventually lose count. 

this is what i call the little big man's taekwondo record, from april 2009 to november 2010 -- 19 months into the sport:

may 23, 2009 
lourdes school, valenzuela 
under sir achilles ponce
novice, group 0

june 28, 2009
m.h. del pilar high school, malolos, bulacan
under sir achilles ponce
novice, group 0

july 18, 2009
waltermart, muñoz, q.c.
novice, group 0
under sir achilles ponce

september 20, 2009
region 3 cpj taekwondo championship
tarlac state university, tarlac
under sir achilles ponce
novice, group 0

october 11, 2009
seminary, guiguinto, bulacan
under sir achilles ponce
novice, group 0

october 18, 2009 promotion to high yellow
meycauayan, bulacan
promoted by sir moben angeles

october 25, 2009
sta. cecilia college, valenzuela
under sir achilles ponce
novice, group 0

november 14, 2009 
region 3 taekwondo championship
robinsons mall, cabanatuan city
under sir moben angeles
novice, group 0

november 29, 2009
bagong bulakeño games
bulacan capitol gymnasium, malolos
under sir achilles ponce
novice, group 1

december 13, 2009
camanava smart taekwondo championship
sta. cecilia college, valenzuela
under sir achilles ponce 
novice, group 1

march 7, 2010
2nd mayor tito oreta taekwondo championship
oreta sports center, malabon city
under sir achilles ponce
novice, group 1

promotion to low blue

march 21, 2010
region 3 new face taekwondo championship
megacenter, cabanatuan city
under sir moben angeles
novice, group 1

may 16, 2010
san diego parochial school, pulo, valenzuela
under sir achilles ponce
novice, group 1

may 23, 2010
milo summer 
bulacan capitol gymnasium
under sir moben angeles
novice, group 1

june 5, 2010
friendship games
greenfield subd, guiguinto
under sir moben angeles
novice, group 1 

june 13, 2010
promotion to high blue
batallion fitness gym, meycauayan

june 26, 2010
carlos palanca jr. taekwondo championship
sm pampanga
under sir moben angeles
novice, group 1

july 31, 2010
smart national taekwondo championship
rizal memorial coliseum, manila

september 18, 2010
hundred islands taekwondo championship
alaminos, pangasinan
under sir moben angeles
advance, group 1 (tried out the red belt)

october 3, 2010
region 3 cpj taekwondo championship
tarlac state university, tarlac city
under sir moben angeles
novice, group 1

november 14, 2010
tagaytay taekwondo championship
tagaytay city
under sir moben angeles
novice, group 1

TO DATE:  7 GOLDS, 3 SILVERS, 4 BRONZES -- not bad, i'd say. :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

the backseat

last month, the hubby and i quit paying for the little big man's school bus service and started driving him to and from school everyday.  and eversince this new routine started, our little girl , whose class schedule permits it, comes along every trip.  never mind that she's in her jammies or her hair is all in disarray, she has to be in that car with us, wherever that car goes.

she doesn't like to sit in the backseat unless she is asleep so sometimes i let her sit on my lap in front and she wraps my arms around her so she has a human seatbelt.  so we threw in a pillow and blanket that's permanently in the car for her.  we also put in a couple of CDs of the music she likes so she won't get bored.  yes, justin bieber and taylor swift goes with us everywhere too.

recently, she has been insistent in staying in front with me.  her dad always tells her that it's against traffic rules and he might get caught but we still let her because she looks at us with her pitiful cow eyes that make us feel darn guilty.  so why not?  but today, we have come up with a resolution.

i realized that what she really wants is to sit with me.  not necessarily in front.  so i told her that beginning tomorrow, we will sit together at the backseat and let her brother sit in front.  which was so fine with her that her cow eyes turned so full of glee.  oh, i could hug her to pieces!

Friday, November 05, 2010

young mom

i am horrified in this bit of news i read today:

10-Year-Old in Spain Is Not the First or Youngest Child Mom

 how could a child so young possibly conceive a baby?  i am rattled and i need to check myself first for signs of a heart attack. 

blood pressure, check.

palpitation, check.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

miracle water

so my friend andre just got back from korea and he was raving about how beautiful it was there, that he wanted to go back next year and explore places and the food more.  one of the many highlights of his trip was at naju to visit julia kim

i read about julia kim through forwarded emails from friends and family long ago and i was awed at the miracles that have happened to her.   andre, bless him, was so awed to meet her himself and i saw how happy he was as he related to me his experience.  then, he took from his pocket two small bottles containing miracle water from the spring at naju where julia kim lived.   this water brings healing to sicknesses.  he told me one was for my dad and the other for me.  i am thankful.

so when i told the hubby, little big man and the little girl about it, most excited was the little big man.  i tried to explain to them kids how it works.  that it's water that we will drink and we will be healed of whatever sickness we have, by faith.  of course, their young minds cannot grasp this completely yet and they ended up thinking that they can make a wish through it and their wish will come true.  i let them think of it as such forewarning them that God does not always grants wishes right away if He thinks its not yet meant for them.  i was concerned that they will be disapointed with the miracle water if their wish or prayer was left unanswered.  i was teaching them faith.

so on monday morning before going to school and work, the four of us gathered together and each said their own silent prayer with eyes shut tight.  then one by one, i dropped the water on each's mouth.  i felt the purity and sincerity of the moment. 

last night, on our way home the little big man told me what he wished for.  he said he asked God to take away his not so nice habit of letting his mouth hang open when in thought or doing something.  he also asked that he become an honor student.  and that he gets to have lots and lots of toys.  i had to smile at how innocent and simple his wish was, which i know for sure God will grant in some way.

then he asked me what i wished for.  i was hesitant but he insisted and told me that it's ok to share it with him.  so i told him i wished that everything they (i.e., him, little girl and their dad) wished for be granted. 

why? he asked, confused.

because it will make me happy if your wish is granted.

but this was your chance to wish for something for yourself and you gave it to us?

i just smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

yes, anak, because i love you too much i'd give anything for your happiness.  my wish is that someday you will pass it on and live a good life and make me proud that i have raised you well.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


 i strongly believe i was saved from imminent danger this morning.

i was in a cab with the little big man on our way to his school then to my office.  (tuesdays the car is coded so he and i are on our own without the hubby.)

driver:  ma'am anong oras na?  [what thime is it?]
he looked at me, not from the rearview mirror when he asked this.  he actually turned his head to me at the backseat so i saw his face and he didn't look pleasant.  call me paranoid but something about him made me feel uncomfortable.
me:  quarter to seven.

few minutes later.  he turned towards me again while driving.
driver:  ma'am smart ka?  

in my mind, he meant if i had a cellphone and if i used smart network?  and in my mind, why the f*ck did he need to know?  this made me more uneasy.
 me:  hindi po.  [no.]

the little big man and i talked quietly as we drove on.

after another few minutes, he turned to me again.
driver:  ma'am tapos deretso tayo quezon avenue?
me:  opo.

yes, that was my instruction the moment i stepped in his cab.  he knew i was just going to drop off my kid in school and then, go to quezon avenue where he will drop me off. why the heck did he keep turning with a weird look on his face?  

it was only a few minutes away from the little big man's school.  i decided to hold out till we're there and get off the cab.  i checked the meter, took out the bills to pay for how much it would cost and when we finally parked in front of the school, i handed it to him, took my son's hand and bag and got off.

driver:  hindi na kayo sasakay?
me:  hindi na po. dadaan pa pala ko sa tutor ng anak ko.
and i shut the door.

grace:  also called state of grace. the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

heart problem

it was too easy to find the doctor's clinic near the old city municipal building, in front of the signage that reads PULIS.  the weather wasn't too hot, a little bit windy in fact.  i was calm.

less than a week before, the bad news was spilled out to me and had to wait for this day to confirm the truth to this.  i had so many morbid thoughts about it.  one night, i couldn't even sleep thinking about it.  i even got teary eyed upon reading something about living only up to five years.  

so after one and a half hours, the secretary finally summoned me to the doctor's office as it was already my turn.  the heart doctor had a kind face with chinky eyes and a nice smile.  he asked me why i was there and i presented to him the medical findings and the ECG result.  he looked it over and asked me about my family's medical background, if i smoked, if i drank liquor, if i was into sports.  to all of which, i replied no.  he grinned.

he stood up and put his stethoscope on my back and listened.  then he asked me to lie on his examination table.  more listening.  and me breathing, in, out..... in, out.....

it turned out i wasn't sick at all.  the doctor and i with hubby ended up laughing at how paranoid i had been for the past week.  he even kidded, in exasperation, "your mom kept calling me, i was playing tennis!"  i realized my mom was probably worried about it too but didn't show it, just as i didn't let it show too.

and so, for now, i can rest assured that i will live to see the day my kids become adolescents to which a week ago, i almost thought i won't.  i will still have the chance to earn my first million.  i will still be able to go back to running and aerobics, maybe shift to kickboxing or something more rigorous.  i will still be able to do a lot of things i have yet to write on my bucket list.  for now, i am more than thankful that i am healthy and i am happy. thank God!

Monday, September 27, 2010

one sunday afternoon in orani

nothing beats a lazy sunday afternoon with family and close relatives.  at least, for me that's true.  it was a spur of the moment decision to drive up to orani, bataan and spend the day there and hear mass at the old holy rosary parish church where my dad got my name.

we sat with my cousins, brothers, aunt and mom around a table heartily eating, sans utensils, with bear hands!  there's sugpo (big shrimps!), rellenong bangus (yes, that's stuffed fish), roasted chicken and rice.  and what's that fish with the soup?  ice cold soda was passed around along with stories and funny anecdotes.  we were the same cousins who used to run around the big old ancestral home of our grandparents while our moms and dads chatted like they did forever about how each's lives have turned out over the years.

now it's our kids, who seldom see their cousins, who are running around the garden to the parking lot cum walkway, up the small nipa hut behind the house.   

 it was worth the trip.  at the end of the day, i felt a sense of peace and love as i entered the church -- the reason why we visited.  it always feels like a miracle is going to happen everytime i see the lady of the rosary perched behind the altar in all her sparkling glory.  it feels like i am in her warm embrace and nothing is going to harm me or my family. i am thankful for my family and my small group of close relatives who are in fact, the miracles in my life. 

Thursday, September 23, 2010


what a morbid way to start a day.

i was sitting in the cab on my way to work and started recalling the events of the day before.  it was the first time i was by myself since i read the medical recommendation.

i shut my eyes tight and thought how it would feel like in the last few moments before i die.  it would be totally dark, exactly like the state i was in with my eyes closed.  i would still hear the sounds around me.  i would shiver in the sudden cold that envelopes me.  then slowly, slowly, i would slip into oblivion... i imagine this to be the way i would like to go.  no pain, just peaceful.  happy.  ready.  no worries about those i would leave behind.

it was yesterday afternoon when they called everyone at the office to get the results of our annual physical examination.  i went up casually to kathy who was releasing the print outs of the results and she told me -- casually too -- that i needed to consult with a cardiologist regarding my ecg exam.  it didn't sink in right away.  i took the print out, randomly went over the report and found at the bottom what she was talking about:  ADVISE CONSULT.  Further, i checked the other half sheet of paper where it said the following:

Rhythm: Sinus Bradycardia
Interpretation: Poor R wave progression
 Left axis Deviation

upon realization what this means, i tried to find a chair to sit on.  what if i have heart failure and i'm gonna die soon?  (i know now that i was overreacting but what did you expect?!)  

i thought of my kids and how young they still are to lose their mother.  (ok, ok i can see you're slowly breaking into a smile, whoever you are reading this!)  

then came flashbacks of me having those episodes of having shortness of breath in the last 12 months or so.  (could those have been symptoms?)    also those headaches..... fatigue usually after work hours..... headaches...

when i got back to my table, i immediately googled the diagnosis.  sinus bradycardia is a sinus rhythm with a resting heart rate of 60 beats per minute or less. however, few patients actually become symptomatic until their heart rate drops to less than 50 beats per minute. the action potential responsible for this rhythm arises from the sinus node and causes a P wave on the surface ECG that is normal in terms of both amplitude and vector. these P waves are typically followed by a normal QRS complex and T wave.  (lifted from emedicine website)

simply put, my heart is beating slowly.

today i am reminded of my mortality. and  today i resolve to see that cardiologist this weekend and get this over with.  my health is more important now more than ever because my children depend on me to always be there for them.  i cannot afford to miss out on all those meaningful events in their lives.  i cannot NOT be strong enough to defend them in times of trouble.  any problem with me or my state of being simply CANNOT BE.

the Nth medal

i am not bragging, although i usually am when it comes to the little big man's achievements.  but i honestly lost track already of how many medals he's won.  i also already forgot how many competitions he has participated in but i'm sure it's less than twenty, more than ten.

so last weekend it was a bronze.  it was in alaminos, pangasinan, home of the hundred islands of the philippines.  the guy he lost to was from baguio.  we have heard lots of stories about baguio players -- that they train literally everyday, that they run uphill so they have stronger body resistance, that they "down-grade" (i don't know how to call it and if that's the right term at all)  their belts, i.e. if a player is a red belt he competes as a blue belt (lower) so he usually wins.
anyway, on our part, coach decided to make the little big man play a higher belt.  he's only a high blue in novice level but coach told him to wear a red belt and threw him in the pit with an advance level opponent.  he won his first game via sudden death.  unfortunately, he lost in the semi-finals but managed to be 3rd with a bronze medal.

overall, our team was 4th place among 23 competing teams.  not bad for our team who only had 15 players unlike others who had 50.  and the experience was well worth it because we not only won a tournament, we also won friendships with families of team mates.

Monday, September 13, 2010

small talk

got the little big man's 1st quarter report card last saturday.  was good.  as expected, his highest grade was in math and phys ed.  his homeroom teacher, ms. torrefranca informed me that academically, he was doing good.  their only problem with him is his being talkative in class. 

i can't deny.  my son is very opinionated and can't shut his mouth.  he will say everything and anything that comes to his mind, no matter what the situation or the circumstance.  he will explain when he's being reprimanded.  he will comment on other people's conversations.  he will always have something to say on somebody else's business.  i know for a fact that he did not get that from me.  i am one of the most tactful people i know.  it can't have come from me, no sir.  the hubby, although he vehemently and laughingly denies this, is to blame.

teacher clare, his tutor told me exactly the same thing.  i was informed that he is as good as the 1st honor student in her tutor class and she's confident about his intellectual capabilities.  but her only complaint was that he can't seem to contain his thoughts and comments to himself.  though whenever he is reminded, he immediately says sorry and keeps quiet, for a while, until he forgets again to mind his own business.

so this morning, on his first day back to school, i reminded the little big man to try shutting his trap for at least when he isn't being talked to.  with a daily dose of that, i am a little bit confident he's gonna be in the honor roll next quarter.  i'm keeping my fingers crossed.