mommy matters

resilience.  i feel this word.  i want it to drench me in its meaning.

i've never felt more "mom" than i have been the last couple of days.  i was on leave for 3.5 days last week to physically take care of the kids' needs, without a nanny and without a husband.  

last tuesday, i had to leave work midday to fetch the little big man because classes were suspended while the little girl was sick at home.  from that day onward, i prepped them every morning, brought them to school, fixed the house and did errands, fetched them later and had dinner somewhere or at my parents'.

over the weekend, i spent time at our canteen while finishing "fifty shades of grey."  i haven't read a whole book (novel) for the last 4 or 5 years and it felt really good although i wasn't too fascinated with the story of this one.  sunday the kids and i went to morning mass, had lunch at max's and spent a quiet afternoon and evening.  to top all that, i cooked dinner.  

and cooked breakfast and "baon" the next three days till today.  and i think i'll be doing that for the rest of my life because i realize i love doing it for the kids.  

i did some laundry and ironing too last week for the kids' uniforms.  but i did arrange with the laundry woman to come every monday since i know for a fact that i will not be able to handle that on a regular basis. 

i arranged for the kids' school service so that i wouldn't have to worry about them while   i'm at work.  good thing the kids liked the idea although they have to prepare for school an hour earlier than when the hubby used to bring them by car.

i bought a can opener.  this is monumental for me.  because for a long time, i never had one because cans at home were always opened by the hubby or the nanny or the house help using a big knife.  but last monday, i was gonna cook meat loaf for the kids' baon and i almost ground the meat inside the can using that big knife to open it.  i also bought a new cutting board since i wanted to replace ours a long time ago but never gotten around to doing it because i wasn't the actual user of it, until now.  and guess what, i bought a flat "sandok" for frying.  i know i will be frying a lot these days so might as well get my own.

last night, i went shopping for food.  i always did that with the hubby before because he's the one who knows that stuff.  (if you've known me long enough, you'd know i'm not that kind of girl and that he's that kind of guy.)  but last night, i was picking which cooking oil to buy, getting a pre-packed dozen eggs, deciding on whether to get the boxed milk or the chocolate milk, buying potatoes and tomato sauce... i was actually thinking of cooking a real meal (which is giniling na baboy) and not just something out of a can or a foil pack.  

i am also making time to fix, clean, arrange things in the house.  little by little.  i am now aware that trash is being picked up every wednesday and saturday so i always have to make sure it's out our door those days.  i am also aware when the mineral water is running out so i can request for a delivery.  i have asked for the help of one of our helpers at the canteen to prep the little girl every morning.  i have also commissioned our cook to make our dinner everyday.

one of my mom's borders offered to assist the little girl with her homeworks and study and although i do like to do that with her, i welcomed the kind help, silently thanking God for all of the good things that He's giving me and my family.

it surprised me that i could actually do things by myself.  and the things that i can't do, i am able to ask for help.  and i felt more fulfilled than i ever was.  it's tiring, i admit, waking up at 4:30am everyday, squeezing everything we have to do the whole day to be able to put the kids to bed at 9:00pm.  but i do get a little "me" time too, a quick browse through facebook, an online old movie, sewing my kids' names on their hankies, game of thrones during lunch time at work, a new lipstick... a quick quip on twitter and this blog.  i guess i just might be blogging a lot more than i used to.

i feel like i'm starting over.  love life!

Resilience is the ability to work with adversity in such a way that one comes through it unharmed or even better for the experience. Resilience means facing life’s difficulties with courage and patience – refusing to give up. It is the quality of character that allows a person or group of people rebound from misfortune, hardships and traumas.

Resilience is rooted in a tenacity of spirit—a determination to embrace all that makes life worth living even in the face of overwhelming odds. When we have a clear sense of identity and purpose, we are more resilient, because we can hold fast to our vision of a better future.

monday dinner

so it was a monday and a holiday in our little country and the four of us -- the hubby, the little big man, the little girl and me -- went to dine out, for the heck of it.  mainly coz we didn't have househelp during weekends and holidays  and hubby didn't want to cook.  and y'all know i don't.

so in our pambahay and tsinelas, we went al fresco at chow king -- a couple of hundred steps just outside our home.

migo had fever since sunday night but still had an appetite so we decided to get him one of his favorites, sweet and sour pork.  no softdrinks, thank you.  i'm proud of him that he is not into that.

julla was her usual self, trying her mighty best not to eat anything.  i force fed her some siomai and tiny bits of pork with sweet and sour sauce mixed in with rice by bribing her that she won't get any lollipops tomorrow.

and their dad?  well, he pretty much ate everything up just as he usually does.  since i don't eat much during dinner, he gets to consume my share of the meal.

i like it that we have these simple feasts.  it makes me secure that this little family is well-bonded and happy.

chef chari on the loose!

so before the tuna and toenail tragedy, there was supposed to be the "moment" when plain old me turns to chef chari. so this is my blog entry about it.

the can of tuna was really meant for me to cook. when i took it off the shelf from the grocery, i already knew i was the one who will put it on the stove a few days after. something about that can told me that it should be the start of something new. (to the tune of high school musical)

anyhow, i found the perfect recipe on the internet. the step by step instruction was easy enough for me to comprehend. the dish turned out fine but nothing exceptional. migo said it was ok. cesar said it was ok. so i guess..... i should try a new recipe!

yesterday, it was sinigang na baboy day. another free consultation on the world wide web and off i go. it tasted ok. again, just ok. cesar did say it was good enough. the only problem was that i put the gabi last together with the leafy veggies so the gabi didn't soften. cesar said later i should've put it in together with the pork.

anyway. so i cooked a second time this month. so i'm living up to my secret new year's resolution. or should i say, i'm starting to accomplish one of my secret goals for 2008. i hope i get to accomplish ALL my secret goals. i won't write them down but will just write them when i've accomplished them already. that way, no one knows if i get a passing score or not. and i can only have myself to blame if i don't.

the tuna and toenail tragedy

julla broke her left big toenail.

friday night, i was preparing a tuna dinner. i left the can of tuna on top of the dining table while thawing the combination of green peas, diced carrots and corn kernels. (YES, I WAS GOING TO COOK DINNER! and cesar was proud of me, but that's another blog entry...)

so there i was busy with my "moment" because as you all know (or not know yet), i don't know how to cook. i searched the internet that evening for a good canned tuna dish and i was excited and sort of proud of myself. suddenly, a loud scream. no, more like a short, high-pitched yelp, followed by loud, ear-splitting wailing which could only come from julla.

then there she was, pointing at her bleeding toe. and it bled like crazy, i didn't know what to do! hydrogen peroxide and balls of cotton! wailing julla in the background while i rummaged through my cabinet with all the bottles of cologne, lotion, contact lens cleaner, etc already in disarray even before the rummage. she wailed and wailed like an ambulance siren. while silly me, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. and her brother, migo, looking over my shoulder and breathing a loud "eeewwwww!" then darting away, lest he gets this communicable disease that his little sister acquired.

30 minutes later. a hiccuping julla, drained from all the crying, but quiet finally. her big toenail, cracked crosswise, 3/4 of it might eventually chip off.

damn, i hope the remaining 1/4 grows out nice and smooth just as it has always been. i don't want her to be eventually all grown up and pretty... but hiding an ugly toe.