Crush

Sharing this again for posterity.

Jullana posted this on FB last 03 June 2016.

To which, her classmate Chester who has a crush on her, commented #10. So here was my comment and the conversation that ensued.

After a while, he deleted his message and replaced with this.

And after a little more while, he PMed me this.

I think I handled it pretty well, didn't I? ;) 

OOTD (Conversations)

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I put on an old top that I must've been wearing frequesntly over the past weeks. The little girl said to me to wear something else. That I should wear my other clothes at the back of the closet.

 

So I took it off and found this girl flowy off shoulder top that I probably used only twice since it was bought months ago. I wore it and showed the little girl. She approved then went to the closet to find a matching black bandage skirt. She let me wear it, stood back and said, "There."in approval.

 

I stood in front of the mirror and told her, "But I don't like wearing skirt in the office." to which she replied, "Yeah. It makes you look old."

 

So I took it off and wore my black distressed boyfriend jeans. When the little girl saw me again, she quipped, "That's fine. Cool pants. Nice top."in approval.

 

The little girl's fashion inclination is manifesting.

 

 

Stage mom feels 2

Still on that beauty pageant a few days ago. Just for the record.

I was taking a video of the Q&A. The son's question was about how he will boast about his country. He was cool and composed and didn't seem rattled or lost for words, but his answer was way off.

From my left side, I heard someone (perhaps a mom of another contestant) say, ang layo naman ng sagot.

I had to restrain myself from hitting her with my left. You know that feeling when an ambulance alarm starts ringing in your head and heat quickly crawls up from your neck to your face to the top of your head? That's what I felt and if not for the videocam I was holding up, I really would've hit her in the face sideways with my left.

Mothers. You know what I mean.

My 13 Thoughts on Your 13th Birthday This August 13

13. I've been a mom for 13 years now. (Who would've thought i'd get this far?)

12. This is a new chapter for you and me. Everybody says the teenage years are the most challenging for parents but the most memorable for their children. I hope we could get through this together and you arrive at your adulthood and my senior life both of us unscathed. (So help us God.)

11. I'd appreciate it if we could stay friends throughout. You did promise me when you were 4 years old that you wouldn't keep secrets from me. So let's take it from there, shall we? It's best to tell your ol' mom your joys, sorrows, triumphs, problems and I promise to be the best listener. Ever.

10. Your sister is your friend as well. I hope and pray that you nurture your relationship with her. Make her feel that she's protected and loved by her older brother. Remember that your future girlfriends will take particular note of how you treat your mother and sister.

9. Though your Dad is not physically present, know that he loves you very much. And you know you can always ask him for guidance and advice on things you cannot ask me. ('Cause he is still the best Dad in the world.)

8. Learning in school is the most important thing to do during your teenage years. It sets the foundation of how you will turn out in your adult life. You wanna be successful yeah? Study hard. It will all be worth it when the time comes and you will be thankful.

7. Independence is something you have started wanting for the past year. The more you will want it in the next years. I'm giving it to you. I give it to you and I trust that you will make sound, reasonable and  balanced decisions. I will always be here to give you advice and guidance. (Just put down your phone and talk to me.)

6. What do I always tell you? Your character is what you do when no one else sees you. Even when no one sees you, always do what is right. And kind. Pray wherever and whenever. There's no limit.

5. Your success in life will be all your doing. No one else's. You define your future. And even your present. (I mean, your now, your present. Not gift. I know what you're thinking.)

4. Don't worry about your height. You'll grow much taller than you already are. Believe me. (I know.)

3. Hugs and kisses and "I love yous' should never EVER run out. You hear me? It reassures me that I'm doing good as your mother.

2. All my promises, I will fulfill them. Not always immediately, but rest assured that I'm trying everything to keep them. I hope you fulfill yours too. 

1. Enjoy your teenage years, my son. How you will live your life at 31 will depend on how you will live your life at 13 onwards.

"There's this boy who stole my heart.

He calls me Mom."

of dishonesty and bullies

The little girl the other day showed me a crumpled 500 peso bill with wrapped around a bottle of liniment. She said she found it inside her schoolbag. Of course, she knows it's not hers because I don't give her that amount of money for school.

So I told her the most logical thing to do. Give it back. Go see her school's principal and return it to her.

The next day, she got bullied by one of the boys in her class. She said she was walking from the front of the class towards her seat when this boy punched her in the stomach. She curled in pain and cried. When the teacher was told, the teacher's reaction was that the next time the boy punches her, his parents will be called to school.

When told of this, I was furious. But my Mom, (the Grandma) who was told first before me, was even more furious and decided that she will personally go to school and report this incident. It was fine with me since my work nowadays demands that I be at the office always.

Later in the evening, my Mom told me about how she lectured the Discipline Officer in school about bullying. It was a little funny because knowing my Mom, I'm sure they heard a handful of her wisdom. She'd made her mark on the school officials, I must say, esp that officer and the Principal.

The little girl later told me she returned the money and liniment bottle to the principal. The principal told her, "You're honest huh. Ang laking pera nito at ibinalik mo." Then she left.

Much later, the principal went to her class and asked for her and told her, "I forgot to tell you, very good for what you did."

Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat people. 

~ Dennis Prager

Bruce

I've been thinking about it for the last 13 months. At the start of 2015, the desire was too great not to do something about it. (It is more of a need, actually, not a want. Yes, I am justifying my action.)

His name is Bruce. He's small for a guy but quite brusque in my opinion. He's black. Please, no judgment there. He's actually cute and charming but has this air of being smug, sort of reserved and secretive. My dad didn't like him when he met him. But all dads are like that. He wanted Red but at the last minute, I chose this guy.

My daughter wanted to call her Nicki. I asked her why. Her reply: Nicki Mirage.  

Just this morning, I've decided she/he will be named Nicki Bruce. 
Gender: Gay. Yeahhh! Lalaki sa umaga, babae sa gabi at pag weekends. 

P.S. In January 2015, en route to Baguio with my family, we first went to Manaoag and as I saw cars lined up to be blessed, I made a mental note to have mine blessed there too. I didn't realize Our Lady was listening. 

The cars we drive say a lot about us.

~Alexandra Paul

Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.

~Drake

Twinnies

I was told this actually happened a few days back.

The little big man (who, by the way, is no longer little) put a lock on his phone using his image. The way it goes is that the phone only opens if he puts his face in front of it and it detects that it is him trying to unlock it.

The little girl, naughty as she is, put her face in front of the phone.

And walah!!! It opened!!!

Now who still says they don't look alike? 

Tests

Leftover. Untouched milk. First day of final exams for the schoolyear and the little big man (who is not so little anymore, mind you) did not drink his milk before leaving for school. I always told him to never take tests without milk in his tummy.

Another schoolyear is almost through. 4 days of tests and we're done with 3rd and 7th grade. How time flies indeed.

Yesterday I was told that my Dad has a year to live. He'd undergone lots of tests, went to a third doctor last Friday for a third opinion on his liver cirrhosis. And yesterday around 1pm, my sister-in-law tells me this. I'm putting it out there as bluntly as I was informed. No small talk, just straight out, flat out truth. I wept, yes. I've been in denial for the last couple of months since his first hospitalization in October.

How time flies. Indeed.

miggers

Found this artwork among a pile of papers that the little big man took out of his school bag last night. Posting this so someday he can look back and say he actually did this and what he wrote came true.

It reads:

MIGGERS

-kinda sporty

-kind

-love video games

-lovable

MIND

I want to learn the lessons if life. Life must challenge me!

HANDS

I will not only use my hands for video games. But also for helping out poor people.

HEART

I want to embody on how kind I am. I may be makulit but I'm kind. Note: I'm also sift hearted.

FEET

I will only walk forward not afraid of the future. I wish to have a good future.

To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.

~Bruce Lee

the ice cream maker

it's the kids' 4th day without school. semestral break. the little girl's been begging me to bring her with me to the office and i've promised her that she can go to the office with me today. just because.

early on, the office has issued a memo no longer allowing employee's children in the premises. it was brought about by an incident among the owners' relatives who fought over one of the kids. long story. so anyway, before going to work with my little girl in tow, i told her that in case the guard does not allow her inside, we will have to go home.

when we got there, guard was all smiles. we went in smoothly without question. officemates who missed her since she was there a lot last summer, were so glad to see her. immediately, i set her on the table behind me doing some papercraft. she was well-behaved and wasn't a nuisance at all.

then one of the HR personnel called my attention about the memo. i immediately said i'll just leave the office with my daughter. it wasn't a big deal really. i knew it was coming but i just took the chance since everyone in the office knew i always bring her there whenever she had no classes.

i decided to take it as an opportunity to bond with her so i told her we will go to the mall instead. perfect timing cause it was already 10am. as we walked out of the office, the little girl started sobbing, saying "i'm sorry mommy, i'm sorry mommy..." i appeased her, telling her it was ok, it wasn't her fault. but she kept on saying i'm sorry as tears fell down her cheeks. i hugged her to me and reassured her that it was ok and we will just enjoy our day.

we ended up in toy kingdom. 

we ended up with a toy ice cream maker.

later, she apologized to her dad as well. she was actually afraid to tell her dad about it and was teary-eyed again as she explained to her dad that she didn't want it to happen. again i told her it was alright. 

then she asked, pano yan san ka na kukuha ng money? wala ka nang work?

and it dawned on me, the reason why she was sooo sad was all the while she thought i lost my job because she went to the office with me. 

this made me a bit mad at what happened. this made me want to get back at that wretched office policy for not allowing my kid in there. i could only imagine the trauma my little girl felt all these hours since morning!

and so i told her over and over again that it wasn't her fault and that i didn't get fired. my dear daughter..... 

so we made ice cream instead.

Children are happy because they don't have 

a file in their minds called "All things that could go wrong."

~Marianne Williamson

long weekend

Jump started my long weekend with these babies.

Green King fridate at Ramen Nagi.

Eggs Benedict which I made from scratch on Saturday morning.

just another weekend

Hello Monday morning!

It was a productive weekend. By that I mean, I was able to finish 4 weeks worth of laundry including 3 bedsheets. I bought new curtains.

I bought two new cacti and a potted giant rose plant.

I didn't do my tryinghardchef stint this time, except for the mandatory buttered shrimp for the little girl. But I did buy a tom yum soup pack for next weekend's shrimp. For a change. 😊 I also bought Yummy, a recipe magazine so I'm sure to try out new food this week. I am excited about that.

Kids and I attended The Feast Valenzuela again yesterday (2nd time this month). So heartwarming. Kids think we should attend it every week. Which makes me really glad that they like worship.

We haven't gone to taekwondo training for 3 weeks. It feels sad not to be able to go and letting my kids' "athleticity" go to naught. But last night Mommy O called and said the coach wants the little big man in the national tournament on the 26th. That's two weeks away so we gotta work up our schedule to be able to train.

So I'm off to a brand new week. Wish me luck. Good vibes only. God's will, God's time.

little sick girl 😰

Last night, the little girl at dinner told me to bring her to the hospital. What I know she meant was to bring her to the doctor for check-up. This is so unlike her and I am a bit worried. No, actually, i'm very worried that I'm already imagining brain cancer. Forgive me for being OA but I'm coming from my friend Allie's experience where her 13 year old son passed out after just 3 days of fever and was never revived.

Backtracking, last Thursday night the little girl had fever and a headache. I gave her Tempra. When she awoke the next morning, she said her head still ached but I convinced her it was nothing and made her  go to school. By lunch time she had fever again and was sent home by the school clinic. I had to leave work early to get to her but she was fine when I got home and was already playing with her cousins.

Saturday she was ok. At least I think she was. On Sunday, we attended The Feast and she felt shivery and had headache again. 

Yesterday (Monday) at school she said she went to the school clinic again for an hour with slight fever. Which brings us back to last night.

Pediatric doctor, here we come. I'm hoping it's just fatigue over the last 3 weeks that she's been on whole day classes. Fingers crossing and then palms clasping in prayer now.

Feeling foodie

Recently been doing a lot of stuff in our little kitchen. And I must say I've been enjoying the time I spend there. It's one of the blessings I consider that God has given me after the major changes in our little family. 

Just for the record, here are some of the stuff I've been busy with, serving my little big man and little girl these past weeks.

Hungarian sausage and scrambled eggs

The last 2 months, I also started the habit of going to the palengke every Saturday morning to buy food, fruits and... shrimp! Shrimp is the little girl's favorite and being the picky eater that she is, this is the only food she would eat with gusto. She would even help with the cooking.

Then there's my obsession with plating and instagramming my work. I search the internet for recipes that not only taste good, but look good as well. It feels good to prepare these for my kids. And I know they appreciate the effort, esp the little big man who even told me last week that I should stop working and just stay home and take care of them like this. Oh how I wish I could do that!

Tuna pesto pasta + Four seasons

Lemon infused water + Fruit loops + s'mores + 3-cheese & tomato pasta

Tuna & alfalfa rolls / sandwich

Salad composed of cucumber, lettuce, carrots, avocado and yes, alfalfa sprouts + vinegrette

Food for the body is not enough. 

There must be food for the soul.

~Dorothy Day

growing plants

i am not into plants. i'm into pets but i don't have a pet because i cannot take care of one, what with my hyperactive, choleric, type A personality kids who take up my time and energy. i do not want plants in my life as much as i don't want pets because of the responsibility they bring.

but i've been watering my mom's plants daily for over a month now. i don't have a choice because they are placed in the front yard of our little penthouse for the longest time and there is no one to take care of them now but me. so just this summer, i get up at 5:30 in the morning to water them. everyday.

and i dunno... i've grown a slight attachment to them. i pick out dried leaves and weed out those unsightly grass that grow here and there.  i got guilty when i went on vacation for 2 days and i got home and some of them dried up a bit. i also began to treat my daily watering chore as a form of exercise, what with me dipping the tabo in the timba for each potted plant. and boy, have i got a lot of potted plants to pour into so you can just imagine how many times i bend over and carry each tabo of water to each plant.

anyway, this morning, i was in awe to find most of "my" plants healthy and.... flowering!

over the last month, i've grown too with my plants. just as i did my best to nurture them, i nurtured myself. i've learned to be self-reliant now more than ever. things i never did before on my own, i can now do by myself. cooking. laundry. house-cleaning. more recently, driving. and basically, managing my household. i have re-affirmed that God gave me trials and hard times for me to become a better person. just as those plants experienced dry season, they are now blooming in summertime.

yeah. me. blooming in summertime. :)

belated happy mother's day to me.

A garden requires labor and attention. 

Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions.

They thrive because someone expended effort on them.

~Liberty Hyde Bailey

working mom

let me forwarn you. this will be tearful.

this morning, the little big man woke up with fever while i was preparing to go to work. 

(you must know that our little family is coping with the hubby in neverland and it's just the kids and me in the little home for over a month now.)

i gave him biogesic. yes, he's taking tablet medicine now. i asked him if he was ok and he said no. he has a headache. i asked him if he wants me not to go to work and stay with him.

ikaw bahala was his reply.

(it's up to you.)

what to do? any normal, sane, caring mother knows very well that means he doesn't want to impose but of course he wants me to stay with him.

so i picked up my phone to text the office that i was not coming to work. 

before sending the text, i thought of all the things i have to do at work today. i thought of 3 scheduled meetings. i thought of my friend/officemate/department-partner who has already informed me in advance that she might not be in today so there won't be anyone to delegate the work today. i thought of the would-be-loss of 1 day's salary. 

i went back to the little big man and whispered to him that i really have to go to work. that i want to stay with him but i have committed to those 3 meetings and that there will be no one else to do the work today and so i cannot NOT go to work.

he said ok.

now, i'm at work. and i am guilty as hell. so judge me.

tears. tears and tears of regret.

sorry, anak.

She never quite leaves her children at home, 

even when she doesn't take them along.

~Margaret Culkin Banging

how to cook eggs properly

i so need this video as future reference. indulge me.

it's been a while that i've been cooking meals for my kids at home now. i'm getting the hang of it. 

last week, my only fail was the pineapple chicken which turned out to be too sweet.  so far, i've done chicken sinigang, pork sinigang, sauteed squash and sitaw (which was a hit even with my parents), fried pork chops (which was kinda hard, according to my son, but tasty)...

but my fascination with all kinds of egg recipes is getting bigger. next thing you know, i'm making eggs benedict!

i should start stalking following this erwan heusaff guy.

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: 

it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. 

We are like eggs at present. 

And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. 

We must be hatched or go bad.

~ C.S. Lewis

chef duties

This may seem like I'm patronizing myself but really, you all know I hate cooking, and now I cooked yet again.

Some of you know why I am sometimes forced to cook for my kids. Some of you don't. But then I won't explain it to those who don't.

So here is what I did this morning.

Yesterday the little girl asked for chicken sinigang. She wanted soup because she wasn't feeling very well. I must say I did a fairly good job because she end her brother ate it all.

The last few times the hubby was away, I've got to say, I've been enjoying preparing my kids' food. I've enjoyed going to the grocery and the wet market even, and being able to choose the stuff our little family will eat. If this situation keeps on, I might as well get an oven and learn to bake. Hah! That'll be the day.

Sometimes I think ma be if I wasn't working full time, I may be able to domesticate myself and really be good at it. Oh did I tell you I've been doing laundry too?

broken nose

it was an uneventful sunday. until that fateful moment when the little big man mistakenly turned away, looked back and his opponent's foot hit him right smack on the nose. i stared at my boy, his nose bleeding while two moms approached him, applied ice on his nose. coach approached too and called off the game.

a technical knockout.

and here i go again, saying, he could've won the game had he not been hit on the nose. 

the following tuesday, i had him checked by a EENT doctor who declared, without batting an eyelash, that the little big man needs to undergo surgery -- as in, general anesthesia kind of surgery.  the f---?! at first, i was stunned. all i could think about was somebody knifing my son's face and fixing the broken bone. (later i found out, the procedure was by way of lifting the skin from the upper lip up to the nose. no wonder he needs general anesthesia!) the next thing i thought about was how much it would cost to undergo this operation. doc said a safe ballpark figure would be 70k. the f---?! i was stunned twice over.

i held back tears as i told the hubby much later. good thing he was calm and said, a surgery probably wasn't needed anyway because there's no dislocation. which was a bit comforting. later, reading through google searches about broken noses and fractured noses, i did find that a surgery is not always the only option.

which made me relax a bit. but not until we get a 2nd, 3rd opinion from a different doctor this weekend.

meantime, as always, we got another learning experience on our list. 

“One mistake does not have to rule a person's entire life.” 

― Joyce Meyer, Any Minute

Black Belt

the little big man was promoted to high brown belt in taekwondo on april 28, 2012.  twenty-plus months later, which is a little overdue, he was promoted to 1st dan black belt last sunday, january 26, 2014.

these are his teammates from meycauayan who also earned their black belts with migo.  ethan, giljohn, miggy, princess and maureen.

and their colored belt teammates who came to support.  ralou, luis and ceejay.

with coach moben, their coach, mentor, motivator.

of course, with who else, but the proud mommy.

his defining moment was when he broke the board with a turning side.

i couldn't be happier for my unico hijo.  this is just the beginning of more challenges and opportunities which we will go through together.  love you, anak!

"A black belt is a white belt who never quit."