ek with migo tomrrow

i told migo just now that he and i are going to enchanted kingdom tomorrow. it’s a supposedly all-expenses paid trip for me and several officemates largely because of our participation in the F&H streetcast (fashion show) our company held few weeks back. it’s sort of a reward for the efforts we’ve put in to make the show a success. anyway, i asked today if i could bring my son along while i will shoulder his expenses for the trip. i figured i wouldn’t be enjoying a trip to EK without my kids tagging along. oh my, age is simply catching up on me! but then again, i guess i just always have that guilty feeling whenever i enjoy myself without them. it makes me happier if they enjoy it with me

anyway, when i told him, migo was immediately ecstatic. but i told him that it will be only just the two of us to which he sadly replied, “ ayyy…gusto ko kasama si julla tsaka si daddy.” my heart swelled right then and there. i can’t help but be touched by his overt disappointment at not being with his sister and dad at such a supposedly fun family activity. i am sad too, to think that I would honestly, actually enjoy it more if we went as a family.

so i told migo that it has to be only the two of us because if we brought Julla, we would have to worry about carrying her around and i won’t be able to take care of him since my focus would be more on julla. that more or less, convinced him. so he consented to go. just the two of us...with my officemates, of course.

tooth to go

migo's first milk tooth separated itself from his lower gums last friday, 19 september. as of today, a permanent tooth is peeking from where it was and another one behind the milk tooth beside it.

another milestone in my motherhood. my first born is growing out his milk teeth and getting the ones he'll be using the rest of his life. i don't know why i sigh at the thought. it makes me want to hold time still for a while and cherish these moments when he's young, innocent and so, so dependent on his mom. and i had to assure and reassure him a couple of times that it was just normal, that he was going through what every boy and girl his age does before they grow up to be big girls and boys.


and i? time will come that an older mother will tell me how, like the milk teeth, it is normal that he will eventually break away from my grasp. and like migo, i will have to be assured and reassured that every mother goes through that stage when her son becomes an adult.

sigh.

for the meantime, i am enjoying this present time.

nothing

it's been 3 months. it's never been the same week after week after week. it started the week after i recovered from my sickness and was discharged from the hospital. thousands wasted. went to naught. when will it ever end? will it ever end?

nature friendly me

chanced upon this in one of the websites i frequently visit at work. riding on the environmental awareness bandwagon, i share the sentiments of this bag.

makes sense, di ba lah?

A Love Letter from Migo

Front

Back

julla is sick, and so's the rest of us

julla is sick again. :( last time was the end of july which is about four weeks ago when our whole family got sick.

last night when i got home, she has 38.6 temp. she was coughing like there's gallons of phlegm inside her chest and she was sniffing all night. we had to put her on the "usok machine" this morning so her breathing could at least improve. we bought her antibiotics before i went to work today, the same one given her by her pedia last month.

i have colds as well. cesar too. and migo has cough and colds.

i don't like to think that eversince we moved to the new home, the family got sickly. it seems that way but it's also that time of year when everybody gets sickly, isn't it?

i'm goin home early.

lists

fun stuff i think i'm missing: my boss' birthday party last wednesday, my boss' daughter's baptismal tonight which i already know i won't be attending, opportunity to travel and meet more people, that honda crv, that iphone and ipod, that digital slr camera and all the other techie stuff i so want.

so let me go on with my wishlist. coz this blog entry is turning out to be just that. a home makeover would be really cool. a brand new laptop with broadband connection so i can take it and use it wherever i go. did i mention that crv? or any car for that matter as long as it's mine and i can use it anytime i want. kenneth cole watch but i think the one i want is no longer available. a trip anywhere where i can relax without worry.

and let me go on about my what-ifs. what if i married my high school boyfriend who's now a millionaire? what if i ran away to iloilo with my spring fling? what if i didn't stay too long at my previous job? what if i pursued an advertising career?

hmp...i'll get back to this later. brunch is served.

sound decision

i've been feeling a lot of mixed emotions lately. it seems i am trying my darnedest to cope with negative situations but only end up stressing myself more. my friend andre told me to "pray for guidance to come up with a sound decision." i do. i pray a lot. not in the religious way but in a way that i talk to god in my head and i know he listens to me and he talks to me...but i can't seem to get his message. or am i too caught up in everything that i fail to hear him. if i could just sit still......and listen....

for the record, yesterday migo participated in the school's quiz bee. he didn't win anything but i told him that to be part of the 15 contestants out of 90+ students was an achievement already in itself. he asked me if i am happy with him and of course, i said yes.

while i was bathing him early in the morning, before going off to school, we had this conversation:

me: anak, do you want me to accompany you to your quiz bee or can i go to the office?

(he has been clingy these past months and always, always requests me to stay home and not go to the office)

migo: mommy, just come with me to school and watch me at the quiz bee.
(eyes wide open, begging)

me: ok, but i will lose one day's salary. is that alright?

(i've already used up all my vacation leaves and sick leaves for the year, mostly because of him)

migo: at least, we're together.

that did it. no second thoughts. then he goes:

migo: will daddy get mad if you lose one day's salary?

me: of course not.

he grinned, satisfied with what he heard. i smiled, contented with my decision.

The Coke Effect

Two or so weeks ago, Migo asked me (quite sweetly) if he could drink Pop Cola along with his dinner. Although I was reluctant, I let him because it has been some time since he had softdrinks and I do want to give in once in a while.

Later, at bedtime, he couldn't sleep. And after dozens of stories & lullabies with no dozing effect, I fell asleep only to realize the next morning that Migo didn't sleep until very, very late.

This morning, after the 9-10am mass, the four of us dropped by SM to get Jollibee meals for Migo and Julla (which include regular size cups of Coke), a McDonald's Quarter Pounder for Cesar and a caramel sundae for me.

Back home, after literally devouring our Sunday brunch, at around 12 noon I told the kids it's time for an early afternoon nap.

Well, here's what happened....

I will have to keep this in mind from now on:
Never, ever give the kids Coke or any stimulating drink BEFORE going to sleep.

10 things to be thankful for despite getting sick for a week

10. on tuesday, i was at the hospital e.r. getting my blood and urine tested. my temp was 40 degrees, i couldn't sit up and all i could do was lie shivering on the e.r. table. cesar, although he wasn't feeling well too, was with me all this time. my mom was there too.

9. by 5pm, still on tuesday, i was to be confined to rule out dengue. there was no room available, only in the ward. there were still 8 patients waiting for a room. i chose to just go home and wait it out there until somebody checks out. my mom (bless her) who has her ways of getting what she wants, made a quick phone call. in less than an hour, i was being wheeled into room 604 -- private room with cable tv and telephone line. good enough.

8. on thursday, julla and cesar are sick too with fever and coughing. migo was in the pink of health.

7. on the same thursday afternoon, the pedia told us that julla has to be monitored too for dengue. that night, i coughed like crazy. i couldn't lie down flat on my back coz it's causing more cough. i prayed to God, please take away this cough. right after i said that, i took it back. "ok, i'll bare all this coughing, as long as julla gets well." whoever said God doesn't like to bargain? the next day, julla's temp was 37.1 and was playing as if she never got sick.

6. my coughing lasted overnight. at around 4am on friday, i turned on my bed and lay flat on my belly. perfect! the coughing stopped and i was, finally, able to sleep. at 6am, an intern came in to inject antibiotics into my iv so i awoke. she forgot to turn off the lights afterwards. i couldn't regain the sleep i wanted. well, who says you can have everything, huh?

5. friday morning, cesar is more sick than me or julla. but he's resting so he stayed away from the hospital the whole day. i had to content myself with reruns of house, guiness book or world records, numbers and other axn and hbo shows. but i was feeling lots better.

4. a warm bath on saturday morning. (i got sick monday so it's been a while.)

3. friends calling and visiting.

2. valid reason not to go to work. hahahah!

1. hmo took care of ALL my hospital expenses. finally, am well and resting at home on saturday evening. still felt weak but nothing compares to the warm hugs and kisses from my kids. i'm home.

mallrats

it is not often that we go to the mall in the evening. so this is one particular event that needs documentation. we left the house at 7pm and got back at 10pm.

mommy moment

these days i have been battling a dilemma.

migo (the son) has been unusually emotional and clingy. on separate occasions this past month, he told me that i always leave him. that he wants me to fetch him from school. that he wants me to stay home and not go to work. once, when i really didn't go to work, he was so happy to find me at home when he arrived from school.

today is a city holiday (valenzuela day) so he didn't have classes. a few days ago, when it was announced as such, his dad told him that he could go to my office with me (coz he's always been nagging me about bringing him with me to work). but this morning, i had to leave early to catch up on work and just a while ago, when i called home, he cried on the phone because i left him.

if only he knew that what i've always wanted was to stay home and take care of him and his sister. if only i could just quit this job and not have to worry about our daily expenses. if only i could spend more time with them. if only i could.

so here i am, in this place my friend andre calls a rathole. this place where i get my source of income. which provides for the family. for migo's daily expenses.

but not for migo's (and my) source of simple joy.

julla goes to work

little miss chari. boo. julla. 20 june 2008

back online

it's been a month since we transfered to our new home and was not connected to the internet. just two days ago, our connection is on again and i am finally freely able to access anytime i want at home.

things have been quite easier for me this past month. i wish i could say the same for migo. recently, he's been complaining that our new house is too plain, lacks furniture, boring...(well, that was before we got internet access) i told him he only thinks we lack furniture coz he was used to our old place which was very small so it seemed full of furniture. now that we have more space and still the same furniture, it seems a little bare. julla seems to enjoy the new place though. what with lots of floor area to throw around her toys, and lots of people everyday because of our customers. she's getting accustomed to strangers talking to her, making funny faces at her or pinching her cheek.

hubby cesar is a revelation. he's been actively working and giving his all to our new business and i am proud of him. well, he doesn't know that so anyway, maybe i should tell him.

our life changed drastically over the last month. i am hoping and praying it's gearing up for the better. i always knew God did things in His own time. and i am thankful for the graces.

our new dwelling

so we moved to the new dwelling last wednesday, 04 june 2008. the first three days were utter chaos until the 4th day when there was already some semblance of a home. by sunday, we were going to early morning mass as a family, contented and thankful to God for our new living space.

it's our second week now and so far, things are getting better. although our living room is still stacked with softdrink bottles and the big videoke machine and we're still waiting for its pullout. but the shelves are already installed and the books put in their places. the aquarium has a new perch that looks really great at night when its light is turned on. we have yet to layout the walls with our different picture frames, migo's drawings, migo's certificates and what-have-yous. oh, and yes, we placed that frame with the praying hands with the inscription "god bless our home" on top of the door frame leading to the bedroom.

the bedroom so far is the best place to hang around in. the tv set is still there with the ps2 and dvd player so we spend some late nights watching movies. the computer is there too but we don't have internet connection yet so it's virtually useless right now. our wardrobe cabinet is just unbelievable because we got so much space! far cry from our old cabinet in the old dwelling.

so soon, i'll be talking about new furniture, i hope. but for now, we have to save money again. but i'm super glad everything's fine.

ABUNDANCE!

i attended this supposedly life-enriching 3-hour seminar last tuesday. meant to write about it but postponed it until today. many of the topics discussed were actually things many of us already know but fail to apply in our lives. i, for one, am guilty.

here are a few things though that i want to remember, and purposely implement in my life right now. this can be what you can call my mid-year resolutions.

*when you give, it comes back.
now, i will never, ever hesitate to give anybody anything that i know i am capable of giving. i will always be reminded of the scene where the hand that is holding on to something gives away what it is holding, only then is it able to receive an even greater thing.

*attitude decides the result. my "yes" means the job is half-done.
now, i will always, always think positive about everything. yes, i can rant for a few minutes in a negative situation but i will immediately make a turn-around and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, accept things that i cannot change, and GO WITH THE FLOW.

*control: my thoughts, words, anger, appetite, sexual desire.
now, i will start eating oatmeal either for breakfast or for dinner. i have to keep healthy as i know i am in my middle age already (boy, that was hard to admit!) and i have to control my appetite now more than ever.

abundance!! my shoutout for the second half of 2008!

migo, julla and ronald

so we were at mcdonald's sometime this past week.

i admit the only reason we decided to eat there was for the toys that go (supposedly free) with the happy meal. migo got himself a toy car and julla a rotating ball, something like that used by a gypsy. as of today, i think both toys are lost somewhere either under our bed or in the toybox.

sometimes i wonder why, despite knowing that buying them these toys is useless and a waste of precious hard-earned money, i still do. they have fun with it for a few minutes while at the resto but end up as part of a whole sea of mess once it gets home.

but still...

hubby and me

one of our...what should i call it... bonding days.

we went to quiapo church. a short prayer and off we went to our suppliers for our new business. years ago, he and i prayed at this same church when we requested for our first baby. little did we know that i was already pregnant at the time we were there. even if he didn't tell me, i know he prayed for our business. as i did. for it to become successful, for it to be a good source of providing for our family, for it to be our bond. aside from our marriage, that is.

we capped off the day with going to the grocery to buy a couple of items for the kids. nido fortified for migo, lactum 1+ and eq dry diapers (now size large finally) for julla. kids' shampoo, kids' toothpaste, kids' toothbrush, kids' body powder and kids' cologne. and two 1-liter bottles of C2 apple. a quick fastfood dinner of sharksfin and rice.

now home, he's downstairs chatting with friends, making the most of the time we have left in this community. pretty soon when we move to our new home and our new endeavor, he won't have much time for friends anymore.

but i know we're both happy with the way things are heading. things are definitely looking upfor this little family!

american idol season 7

david cook is the new american idol. although i would've liked archuleta to win but anyway, cook does look more the part than archuleta, so there.

this is the 2nd season that i was hooked on this show. the first time was season 5 during the time of taylor hicks, katharine mcphee, chris daughtry and eliot yamin.

oh well, congratulations to david cook and to all dc fans!

julla's (1st quarter of) 2008 dictionary

julla, at 2 years old, is learning to communicate everyday. nowadays we are able to understand her better and the frustration of trying to make us comprehend her babbles has become less and less. here are some of her recent memorable words...

try calling her over the phone one of these days and you'd sure get a kick out of the conversation.

A'MAN - ako naman (tagalog); it's my turn (english)
she understands the concept of taking turns with her brother. that's why she knows when it's time for her to go on the rocking chair, swing on her dad's arms, slide on my legs...after her brother

ABO - takbo (tagalog); run (english)
she doesn't run a lot. in fact, whenever outside, she'd rather be carried by her tita. but when she feels like it, she can run real fast for her age.

ANIG - makinig (tagalog); listen to me (english)
she's becoming quite a story-teller these days. and she demands that you "anig" to her or she will bug you.

ATAY (ah-tay rhymes with WHY) - patay (tagalog); dead (english)

this started when we acquired a fish tank 2 months ago. first we had a dozen guppies that died one by one in a week. so hubby bought yellow mollies. everyday, julla voluntarily feeds the mollies until one day, she found one of them, again, "atay."

AYA (ah-yah) - kuya (tagalog); older brother (english)
ALO (ah-loh) - migo (her brother's name)
several names she calls her older brother

EPEK (eh-pek) - tapik (tagalog); pat (english)

whenever she is ready to go to sleep, she lies on her tummy or sideways and asks me or her dad or her tita or her AYA (but usually me) to "tapik" her round behind

EPER - paper
EESIL - pencil
one of her and her brother's favorite pastimes is drawing

'EMPTR - computer
my gaddd! she just pushed the power button of the cpu!

EYE! EYE! EYE! - yes, her eyes

she says this repetitively, whenever we turn the lights out at bedtime. she seems to mean that her eyes can't see in the darkness so we're compelled to turn the lights back on

IKYOU - thank you
she's good at this

'NDE HA - sandali ha (tagalog); wait for a while (english)

this is usually with matching wave of the hand, palms out and the cutest facial expression in the world, that you would be more than willing to wait for her, however long it takes

SOWI - sorry
she says this while she touches your face....awwwww...she's so adorable!! "ok, ok i forgive you"

TATA (tah-tah) - tita; auntie
recently, she is able to pronounce "tita" perfectly

TAT - cat
i think this is her favorite animal coz she screams in delight whenever she sees strays around our building

ONE, TWO, TEA..... PURR, PIED, XIX, EBEN, EYT, NAYN, TEN!
yes, she can count! usually up to three. but up to ten, when prodded.


words that need no explanation:

pish - fish
doos - juice
bang bang - gun
pupu - yes, her or anybody else's poop
slip - sleep
atyat - go up
welet - wallet
bug - bag
aten yaan - that's mine
epun - electric fan
alaw - light
harap - face here
dito - here
agat - bite
dede - milk
mama - my mom; her grandma
papa - my dad; her grandpa
ama - my ima; her grand-ima
ninong / ninang - her godparents

happy thoughts

so today, i decided to relax and not think about the nasty things in life.

i start by thinking of the blessings i have despite the trials and hardships. first and foremost, my kids.

migo will start 1st grade this june. he's only turning 6 y/o in august but well, as you know, he started going to school at 2. me and his dad are mighty proud of him. over the summer, he gained weight (i think) coz his chest and arms and legs are bigger and i guess he grew taller too. (i better check his height later.) he's becoming more and more smart alecky, i don't know if that's good or bad. he is so talkative and bubbly and sweet. sometimes, he can be a bit naughty but nothing that me and his dad can't handle.

julla turned 2 y/o last april. the sweet little thing is starting to talk in phrases now and can be a little blabbery at times. i should write a julla's 2008 dictionary for my next post. she's starting to eat more now and i think she's an itsy bitsy bit taller. (our neighbor's kid from the first floor is 1 year old but taller and heavier than julla.) she likes to sleep by herself and is bothered if any part of her body is in contact with another human being. so unlike migo who snuggles to my armpit everytime he sleeps. well, that's one of their major differences, if you could call it that.

secondly, hubby and i are doing business again. this was my dad's and brother's store and it was turned over to us this month for new management. we have a lot of bright ideas for this and we are very positive about the future of this business. by june, we're going full blast and i really hope everything works out as planned, and forecasted.

consequently to this, we're moving to a new dwelling. the 2nd floor of the commercial space of the store will be turned into a residential area......yes, for us. so we're moving house again after 3 or so years. i do recall that i started this blog and called it "our dwelling" the time we were moving to this house where we are now. so is it time to move on to a new blog too? maybe make a more commercially appealing blog, to generate extra income. hmmm...something i've been mulling over for the last couple of months. well, maybe when i'm in the new house, i'll decide.

survival

was chatting with my bff soul twin just now.

bff st: how are ya
me: i'm good. you?
bff st: surviving
me: surviving is good enough
bff st: sometimes
me: coz some people don't
bff st: but it can be borderline kinda thing
me: yep, have to do something, not just survive though. me too
bff st: yeahhh. scales are tipped. gotta bring it back to a decent balance you know
me: right you should. we should

only we can talk this way in phrases but understand each other completely. we're worlds apart. she's in california, i'm in quezon city philippines. but neither time nor distance can change the spiritual bond we have. so we survive life's daily grind knowing somewhere out there, someone shares the same survival instincts... and understands.

the dynamics of chari's stress

my status message last saturday in my facebook account goes: "....is stressing and de-stressing alternately."

last night, i finally found the right words to describe my present life, so i changed it to: "...is *still* stressing and de-stressing alternately."

this lifestyle is becoming unhealthy. i can become manic depressive anytime now. i need to get out of this. asap. but how does a helpless little girl like me defend herself from the outside world that permeates through the innermost recesses of her if-left-by-itself-contented heart?

my mom once told me that how i deal with my life is really a matter of choice. so i have to choose to be happy. i have to find joy in the simplest things and see the beauty in each person that i encounter. when i have a difficult situation in my hands, i should remember that no pain comes to anybody without a purpose.

so that should be enough to get me out of this rut i am feeling. but i'm in it one day then out the next...in again, out again..... yes, it's crazy. but everyday i get these unwanted feelings about my work and the things i'm supposed to accomplish.

good thing, my life at home has become quite stable these past two weeks. things are looking up for my hubby's business and we see some bright lights ahead. but in my career, i am in a tunnel waiting for when the exit will appear. or if it will appear at all. don't get me wrong. i love my job. i'm good at what i do, of that i am sure. but there's politics everywhere and it blurs the horizon for me. i am not the type who would try to get to the top at the expense of others and it so hurts me to see other people get stepped on. then again, i would tell myself, positively, that i should just let it go. don't let negative stuff affect me. so i feel better for a while. then, it creeps back into my system again. and the cycle continues...

so i await the day that i get over this. meatime, i de-stress...

the 35th

It's my hubby's birthday...he's 35. Well, we've come a long way. We've known each other for like 13-14 years. It's been a roller-coaster ride. We've certainly had our ups and downs and sometimes I must admit, I still wonder if I made the right decision to marry him. But usually, at the end of the day, I would always tell myself that I love him anyway and I would always want to take care of him.

air bender

So it happened on a Good Friday. It’s late evening and Migo was on the first episode of Avatar on dvd, that anime about an air bender and how he’s supposed to end war in the world. We were sharing a noodle soup, Migo and me and a small tumbler of Pepsi, leftover from the Pizza Hut lunch we had the day before.

Then Migo points at the TV antenna resting on top of the dvd player. The TV was right beside the dvd player.

He goes, “Short hand and long hand” referring to the V-shape the antenna formed.

Then he points at the clock directly above it. And goes, “Short hand and long hand.” His dad and I look at the clock and finds the short hand at 10 and the long hand on 2.

This is what the scene looked like:

I’m not saying my boy’s a genius. But a 5-year old kid gotta have a great deal of meat inside his head to notice something like that and make a relation. What's it called in those IQ exams? Spatial ability? It could be the artist in him, it could be anything. But he aint an air bender. I wouldn’t want him to be one either.

And I am writing this down for the record. I'm one proud momma! 21 March 2008

chef chari on the loose!

so before the tuna and toenail tragedy, there was supposed to be the "moment" when plain old me turns to chef chari. so this is my blog entry about it.

the can of tuna was really meant for me to cook. when i took it off the shelf from the grocery, i already knew i was the one who will put it on the stove a few days after. something about that can told me that it should be the start of something new. (to the tune of high school musical)

anyhow, i found the perfect recipe on the internet. the step by step instruction was easy enough for me to comprehend. the dish turned out fine but nothing exceptional. migo said it was ok. cesar said it was ok. so i guess..... i should try a new recipe!

yesterday, it was sinigang na baboy day. another free consultation on the world wide web and off i go. it tasted ok. again, just ok. cesar did say it was good enough. the only problem was that i put the gabi last together with the leafy veggies so the gabi didn't soften. cesar said later i should've put it in together with the pork.

anyway. so i cooked a second time this month. so i'm living up to my secret new year's resolution. or should i say, i'm starting to accomplish one of my secret goals for 2008. i hope i get to accomplish ALL my secret goals. i won't write them down but will just write them when i've accomplished them already. that way, no one knows if i get a passing score or not. and i can only have myself to blame if i don't.

the tuna and toenail tragedy

julla broke her left big toenail.

friday night, i was preparing a tuna dinner. i left the can of tuna on top of the dining table while thawing the combination of green peas, diced carrots and corn kernels. (YES, I WAS GOING TO COOK DINNER! and cesar was proud of me, but that's another blog entry...)

so there i was busy with my "moment" because as you all know (or not know yet), i don't know how to cook. i searched the internet that evening for a good canned tuna dish and i was excited and sort of proud of myself. suddenly, a loud scream. no, more like a short, high-pitched yelp, followed by loud, ear-splitting wailing which could only come from julla.

then there she was, pointing at her bleeding toe. and it bled like crazy, i didn't know what to do! hydrogen peroxide and balls of cotton! wailing julla in the background while i rummaged through my cabinet with all the bottles of cologne, lotion, contact lens cleaner, etc already in disarray even before the rummage. she wailed and wailed like an ambulance siren. while silly me, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. and her brother, migo, looking over my shoulder and breathing a loud "eeewwwww!" then darting away, lest he gets this communicable disease that his little sister acquired.

30 minutes later. a hiccuping julla, drained from all the crying, but quiet finally. her big toenail, cracked crosswise, 3/4 of it might eventually chip off.

damn, i hope the remaining 1/4 grows out nice and smooth just as it has always been. i don't want her to be eventually all grown up and pretty... but hiding an ugly toe.

http://www.mylot.com/?ref=chari_dc

i hear many have earned from this site by simply starting or responding to discussions so i wanna share it with you. so far, i've only earned $2.96 so i'm getting there. just click here as my referal:

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here's an example of a discussion i responded to....

POSTED ON MYLOT.COM:

What do you do on those days when you are just in a funk you cant get yourself out of? How do you keep youself happy? Or cheer yourself up when you are not? For me the best thing to do is talk to someone about it, another thing I love to do is write, and listen to music.

MY RESPONSE:

CHOCOLATE always, always does the trick for me.

but when i'm around a computer, going online also helps. usually, when i'm online, time is suspended as if everything else around me stops. i usually chat with someone, write on my blog, post on mylot, forward nice emails, upload photos, i can do almost anything i want. and somehow, i forget my problem. and for a few e-moments, i am happy.

now when there's no computer around, i try to read a book that i've read before. it's like renewing an old friendship because i already know what's in it but it's retold to me again. and for a few literary moments, i am happy.

going to the mall and shopping also helps. but sometimes, i end up splurging so i end up more unhappy coz i lost money that i'm supposed to save. but there's something about shopping and buying something you like but don't need that gives a girl a certain lift in spirit. it's like accomplishing or fulfilling something. oh i don't know how to put it.

right now, i am actually not so happy so i'm glad i'm here online...on mylot.