Bruce

I've been thinking about it for the last 13 months. At the start of 2015, the desire was too great not to do something about it. (It is more of a need, actually, not a want. Yes, I am justifying my action.)

His name is Bruce. He's small for a guy but quite brusque in my opinion. He's black. Please, no judgment there. He's actually cute and charming but has this air of being smug, sort of reserved and secretive. My dad didn't like him when he met him. But all dads are like that. He wanted Red but at the last minute, I chose this guy.

My daughter wanted to call her Nicki. I asked her why. Her reply: Nicki Mirage.  

Just this morning, I've decided she/he will be named Nicki Bruce. 
Gender: Gay. Yeahhh! Lalaki sa umaga, babae sa gabi at pag weekends. 

P.S. In January 2015, en route to Baguio with my family, we first went to Manaoag and as I saw cars lined up to be blessed, I made a mental note to have mine blessed there too. I didn't realize Our Lady was listening. 

The cars we drive say a lot about us.

~Alexandra Paul

Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.

~Drake

anniversary

Today marks the 10th anniversary of this blog. Congratulations to me. Whatevs.

Tuesday bonding

every tuesday, the little big man and me have each other all to ourselves.  well, at least for half an hour every morning as we ride a cab from our house to his school.  our car is color-coded every tuesday so we are basically left to fend for ourselves while the hubby stays home with no driving chores.

today, we were seated together side by side, my arm casually draped around his shoulder.  i was to his right and his big backpack was to his left.  

antok pa ko. he told me.

late kase tayo natulog kagabi.  i replied back.

he half-smiled.

i told him that it used to be, when we were in our old house, we were able to sleep early coz after dinner, there were no more chores to do because we had helpers who did it the following morning.  it was just the four of us so we always hit the bedroom early.  now that we were in our new home, with our extended family downstairs and lots of conversations going on before we could settle into the house/bedroom, we can't really go to sleep as early as we wanna.  

i told him that that was in exchange for the better home.  that there are things we give up for other things.  now that we're here, we can't always sleep early.  but we have a garden, a bigger space and he and his sister can play outside.  

pwede na tayo maglagay ng inflatable swimming pool.  he said.

ok, sa summer bili tayo.  so di ba, may kapalit naman na ibang magandang bagay yung paglipat natin ng bahay.

oo nga, tsaka wala nang ipis.  

yes, no ipis in our new home.  we have left all of the ipis and all the negative past behind.

the new year

i turned 39 years old two days ago.  so technically, MY new year just started.  i can't believe i've already lived this long and i actually, honestly feel still young....like 2o-something.  no kidding!  maybe it's because i've not really grown THAT old physically.  and largely coz of my height, many people still look at me like i'm a teenager. *grin*

so i'm starting my year right.  first off, i am trying to not dwell on the bad times and concentrate on a brighter future.  it's hard, considering what i've been through (which i really don't want to talk about in a public blog which, well, ironically, doesn't have a lot of readers).

starting fresh means:

1. our new (temporary) dwelling where we moved in 2 weeks ago

2. my new samsung galaxy tab (which made me so happy; call me materialistic but it's the best gift i got so far)

3. a renewed faith through feast valenzuela which we hope to go to at least every month, if not every week

4. being together with hubby in a renewed life too

of course, there's still my love for the kids and my parents and my brothers and their families -- that will never, ever fade.

 happy birthday to me.

my two birthday cakes:

from alfie, cherry cheesecake from banapple whose toppings fell to the sides

from nem, ube cake from red ribbon

oh and 2 dozen ube mamons

pagbabago

i've been keeping diaries since i was in high school, in the written form, in cute notebooks i buy.  my objective was, like everybody else who does this, to keep my memories on ink and paper.  just in case i get alzheimer's someday, i'd be able to read back. 

then came the world wide web. i started this blog as an online diary.  and it was timely that my hubby and i, with our then 2-year old son were going to move out of my parents' house into our own home.  thus, the title of this blog "our dwelling."

below is my very first blog entry on December 24, 2004 that started a major change in my life.

"today is my last day at work before i go on vacation for the holidays. within this vacation, me and cesar and migo will transfer to our new home. it will be just the three of us and our nanny. this is a major turning point in my life since you all know i've lived with my parents, brothers and ima all my life. i've never lived anywhere else except for a few days when i go abroad for work or the weekends i spent away when i was still a team member of sade.

my life has always been intertwined with my parents, brothers, ima & tyrone. things will be so, so different now that i will officially become "a homemaker". i will be in charge of everything now, there will be nobody to depend on but me, myself & i. i will do the cooking, shopping, laundry... gosh, a jillion things... and it does seem so hard. my boss asked me why i wanted to live on my own when i had it so easy with my parents. i said it's about time i did. funny but however frightening it seems to not be with my parents, i am pretty excited to plunge into this new phase in my life. i know it will be hard. but i chose this new life. come to think of it, i should've chosen this 3 years ago when i married cesar.

anyway, wish me luck!"

click here for actual blog entry
 

today, 6 years later, i could say that i've grown into a different but better person.  independent of my parents, i now draw strength from my own little family, with 2  adorable kids and a loving hubby.  through it all, goldilocks took part in every birthday, anniversary and any occasion this little family had to celebrate. 

looking back, my life would've been totally different had i not decided to live on my own.  and i come to realize that change, no matter how difficult, is something that is inevitable and all i have to do is accept, cope and face up to the challenge.

here's to more happy years ahead!

my new blog layout

so there i finally did the new layout, new banner and got a fresh new look for this blog.  

ready for visitors.  it used to be that i used this blog to write my private thoughts, meant to be read by only me.  it was some sort of an online diary, something i needed as an outlet of my emotions.  it was something i planned to read someday and reminisce on the good ol' times.  it was some kind of record of all the good things so that when my kids grew up, they can read this and know too, what it was like.

but today, this has become open for public consumption.  i know i'm not a great writer.  but this is me and what i can do.  hope those who get to read this will appreciate at the very least.  happy reading!

our new dwelling

so we moved to the new dwelling last wednesday, 04 june 2008. the first three days were utter chaos until the 4th day when there was already some semblance of a home. by sunday, we were going to early morning mass as a family, contented and thankful to God for our new living space.

it's our second week now and so far, things are getting better. although our living room is still stacked with softdrink bottles and the big videoke machine and we're still waiting for its pullout. but the shelves are already installed and the books put in their places. the aquarium has a new perch that looks really great at night when its light is turned on. we have yet to layout the walls with our different picture frames, migo's drawings, migo's certificates and what-have-yous. oh, and yes, we placed that frame with the praying hands with the inscription "god bless our home" on top of the door frame leading to the bedroom.

the bedroom so far is the best place to hang around in. the tv set is still there with the ps2 and dvd player so we spend some late nights watching movies. the computer is there too but we don't have internet connection yet so it's virtually useless right now. our wardrobe cabinet is just unbelievable because we got so much space! far cry from our old cabinet in the old dwelling.

so soon, i'll be talking about new furniture, i hope. but for now, we have to save money again. but i'm super glad everything's fine.

the final move

we have finally moved to our new home today. me, cesar & migo. our 5th floor abode in chateau valenzuela is just perfect for the three of us! nice view of the main entrance, basketball court and playground. i think migo will love it here. there's a swimming pool which he absolutely longs for. lots of little kids around. guards in all the buildings. cool, cool air everyday, every hour esp at night.

we're just starting to have fun! ;)

home is where the heart is

merry christmas!

today is my last day at work before i go on vacation for the holidays. within this vacation, me and cesar and migo will transfer to our new home. it will be just the three of us and our nanny. this is a major turning point in my life since you all know i've lived with my parents, brothers and ima all my life. i've never lived anywhere else except for a few days when i go abroad for work or the weekends i spent away when i was still a team member of sade.

my life has always been intertwined with my parents, brothers, ima & tyrone. things will be so, so different now that i will officially become "a homemaker". i will be in charge of everything now, there will be nobody to depend on but me, myself & i. i will do the cooking, shopping, laundry... gosh, a jillion things... and it does seem so hard. my boss asked me why i wanted to live on my own when i had it so easy with my parents. i said it's about time i did. funny but however frightening it seems to not be with my parents, i am pretty excited to plunge into this new phase in my life. i know it will be hard. but i chose this new life. come to think of it, i should've chosen this 3 years ago when i married cesar.

anyways, wish me luck!