Monday, May 22, 2006

domesticated me

i went back to work today. after more than a month of being with baby julla, i started going to the office again and i am depressed at the thought of leaving her everyday.

probably coz she's a girl ang i think our bonding is tighter. probably i enjoyed the break from the daily trivial problems that i have at work. probably i got used to being in the house all day. oh, if only i could always be on official leave!

but i recall there were days that i wished i could get out of the house and do things by myself. especially the first few weeks, i was so dependent on cesar, i felt so helpless then.

cesar's mom is going to take care of julla now that we're both back to work. i have my apprehensions but i don't tell anyone. but we're better off with her rather than a nanny we don't know. i don't want to trust my baby to just anybody. oh, if only i could be the one to take care of her! and breastfeed her for as long as she wants....

(sigh) the dilemma of a working mom....

22 may 06

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