i'm a trying hard working mother. this much i know.
last week, i convinced the powers that be at work to let me off early (for the rest of my working life at that company) for the reason that i get to the office earlier than necessary. so officially, i'm off at 5pm instead of 6pm and i am on my merry way home before sunset. eversince they removed our privilage of flexible time schedule, this is what i've always wanted and now i got it and i'm happy. at least now, i can be with my kids early.
last night was a toink moment. something i'm not very proud of.
of course, i was home early and i immediately started work in tle computer on a project. since i was early and the nanny still gets off at 7pm, i let her and the little girl play while i worked. by 7pm, i let her go while the little girl stayed with me inside the bedroom while i continued working.
after a while, i heard the little girl sobbing and as i turned to look at her, she broke down in tears. she then told me in between sobs that i shouldn't have let her nanny off coz she doesn't have anything to do and she was sad. so i immediately bolted out of the revolving computer chair, wrapped my arms around her and told her we could play. to which she replied, "eh mommy ka eh. di ka naman naglalaro eh!"
my heart literally broke. how could she think that way? i hugged her to me and told her, of course, i can play. so what do you want us to play? in my mind, i was hitting myself in the head with my fist. what have i done? i knew i should stop working at that moment and spend the rest of the evening with her, which i should've done the minute i got home in the first place.
we went to the living room and the little girl got 2 balls and she wanted us to alternately roll each ball at each other while slumped on the floor on opposite ends of the room. i tried to sound happy and animated as we did this but after a few rolls, she started bawling again. i am not happy at what we're doing!
i came over to her again to appease her. i carried her to the bedroom, holding her close and asked her again what she wanted us to do. she said she wanted to play or do something but she doesn't know what. ok, so let's see....what do we do? how about the computer?
she settled with an online game where we played hosts in a virtual spa and tended to customers who wanted massages, facials and hair treatments. we did this the rest of the evening until the hubby and little big man arrived from taekwondo practice.
looking back, and after telling this to the hubby, i realized that the reason why i requested for an early off from work is so i can "do my responsibilities as a mother" early. i didn't do that. instead, i worked some more. i know now what to do.
see andre, i'm not perfect?
after a while, i heard the little girl sobbing and as i turned to look at her, she broke down in tears. she then told me in between sobs that i shouldn't have let her nanny off coz she doesn't have anything to do and she was sad. so i immediately bolted out of the revolving computer chair, wrapped my arms around her and told her we could play. to which she replied, "eh mommy ka eh. di ka naman naglalaro eh!"
my heart literally broke. how could she think that way? i hugged her to me and told her, of course, i can play. so what do you want us to play? in my mind, i was hitting myself in the head with my fist. what have i done? i knew i should stop working at that moment and spend the rest of the evening with her, which i should've done the minute i got home in the first place.
we went to the living room and the little girl got 2 balls and she wanted us to alternately roll each ball at each other while slumped on the floor on opposite ends of the room. i tried to sound happy and animated as we did this but after a few rolls, she started bawling again. i am not happy at what we're doing!
i came over to her again to appease her. i carried her to the bedroom, holding her close and asked her again what she wanted us to do. she said she wanted to play or do something but she doesn't know what. ok, so let's see....what do we do? how about the computer?
she settled with an online game where we played hosts in a virtual spa and tended to customers who wanted massages, facials and hair treatments. we did this the rest of the evening until the hubby and little big man arrived from taekwondo practice.
looking back, and after telling this to the hubby, i realized that the reason why i requested for an early off from work is so i can "do my responsibilities as a mother" early. i didn't do that. instead, i worked some more. i know now what to do.
see andre, i'm not perfect?
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