i've been feeling a lot of mixed emotions lately. it seems i am trying my darnedest to cope with negative situations but only end up stressing myself more. my friend andre told me to "pray for guidance to come up with a sound decision." i do. i pray a lot. not in the religious way but in a way that i talk to god in my head and i know he listens to me and he talks to me...but i can't seem to get his message. or am i too caught up in everything that i fail to hear him. if i could just sit still......and listen....
for the record, yesterday migo participated in the school's quiz bee. he didn't win anything but i told him that to be part of the 15 contestants out of 90+ students was an achievement already in itself. he asked me if i am happy with him and of course, i said yes.
while i was bathing him early in the morning, before going off to school, we had this conversation:
me: anak, do you want me to accompany you to your quiz bee or can i go to the office?
(he has been clingy these past months and always, always requests me to stay home and not go to the office)
migo: mommy, just come with me to school and watch me at the quiz bee.
(eyes wide open, begging)
me: ok, but i will lose one day's salary. is that alright?
(i've already used up all my vacation leaves and sick leaves for the year, mostly because of him)
migo: at least, we're together.
that did it. no second thoughts. then he goes:
migo: will daddy get mad if you lose one day's salary?
me: of course not.
he grinned, satisfied with what he heard. i smiled, contented with my decision.