today i am reminded of the story of the mother who taught her daughter (or is it the father who taught his son? or the professor who taught the student?) about the different ways people respond to problems in life. she brought with her a potato, an egg and coffee and each put these items in boiling water. the potato came out softened, the egg came out hard-boiled and the coffee changed the water and made it a totally different entity.
all my life i've known myself to be the cry-baby of our family. i was always the unassertive daughter compared to my more intelligent older brother and sanguine younger brother. so i was a potato. ironic though that i was the more independent one among the three of us. i asked for my own room while still in elementary while my siblings stuck it out with ima for the longest time. i did my own homeworks without my mom's assistance as early as 1st grade. i never asked my parents to use their connections so i can land a job after i finished college. i decided for myself, always believing that i have to do things on my own so i will never have to blame anybody else for failure but myself.
i've noticed one thing about myself that i've not really considered that i guess i've had for some time now. i have learned to immune myself from negative things that are happening in my life. i don't cry over problems as often as i used to. i don't get depressed for more than a few minutes. it's not like i'm always happy, it's more like i always find something to smile about despite the challenges that come my way. i've learned how to sit back unaffected while everybody else is panic-stricken all around me. have i become a hard-boiled egg? jaded? or have i merely accepted the things i cannot change?
maybe i should read about the phlegmatic personality again. this post has started to depress me. :)
so i want to be coffee. i want to be able to turn situations around. make better things out of not so good things. find the silver lining behind every cloud.
for inspiration, here's the song: