just another weekend

Hello Monday morning!

It was a productive weekend. By that I mean, I was able to finish 4 weeks worth of laundry including 3 bedsheets. I bought new curtains.

I bought two new cacti and a potted giant rose plant.

I didn't do my tryinghardchef stint this time, except for the mandatory buttered shrimp for the little girl. But I did buy a tom yum soup pack for next weekend's shrimp. For a change. 😊 I also bought Yummy, a recipe magazine so I'm sure to try out new food this week. I am excited about that.

Kids and I attended The Feast Valenzuela again yesterday (2nd time this month). So heartwarming. Kids think we should attend it every week. Which makes me really glad that they like worship.

We haven't gone to taekwondo training for 3 weeks. It feels sad not to be able to go and letting my kids' "athleticity" go to naught. But last night Mommy O called and said the coach wants the little big man in the national tournament on the 26th. That's two weeks away so we gotta work up our schedule to be able to train.

So I'm off to a brand new week. Wish me luck. Good vibes only. God's will, God's time.

little sick girl 😰

Last night, the little girl at dinner told me to bring her to the hospital. What I know she meant was to bring her to the doctor for check-up. This is so unlike her and I am a bit worried. No, actually, i'm very worried that I'm already imagining brain cancer. Forgive me for being OA but I'm coming from my friend Allie's experience where her 13 year old son passed out after just 3 days of fever and was never revived.

Backtracking, last Thursday night the little girl had fever and a headache. I gave her Tempra. When she awoke the next morning, she said her head still ached but I convinced her it was nothing and made her  go to school. By lunch time she had fever again and was sent home by the school clinic. I had to leave work early to get to her but she was fine when I got home and was already playing with her cousins.

Saturday she was ok. At least I think she was. On Sunday, we attended The Feast and she felt shivery and had headache again. 

Yesterday (Monday) at school she said she went to the school clinic again for an hour with slight fever. Which brings us back to last night.

Pediatric doctor, here we come. I'm hoping it's just fatigue over the last 3 weeks that she's been on whole day classes. Fingers crossing and then palms clasping in prayer now.

Feeling foodie

Recently been doing a lot of stuff in our little kitchen. And I must say I've been enjoying the time I spend there. It's one of the blessings I consider that God has given me after the major changes in our little family. 

Just for the record, here are some of the stuff I've been busy with, serving my little big man and little girl these past weeks.

Hungarian sausage and scrambled eggs

The last 2 months, I also started the habit of going to the palengke every Saturday morning to buy food, fruits and... shrimp! Shrimp is the little girl's favorite and being the picky eater that she is, this is the only food she would eat with gusto. She would even help with the cooking.

Then there's my obsession with plating and instagramming my work. I search the internet for recipes that not only taste good, but look good as well. It feels good to prepare these for my kids. And I know they appreciate the effort, esp the little big man who even told me last week that I should stop working and just stay home and take care of them like this. Oh how I wish I could do that!

Tuna pesto pasta + Four seasons

Lemon infused water + Fruit loops + s'mores + 3-cheese & tomato pasta

Tuna & alfalfa rolls / sandwich

Salad composed of cucumber, lettuce, carrots, avocado and yes, alfalfa sprouts + vinegrette

Food for the body is not enough. 

There must be food for the soul.

~Dorothy Day

Parang sabi ni God...

Today I posted this on my Instagram account. Now I'm thinking of starting a blog of all these little instances when I think God is trying to tell me something. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was about to water the plants this morning, it rained a little. Parang sabi ni God, "Sige na anak, mag instagram ka muna. Sagot ko na ang plants." #blessed #simplejoys

Tapos umaraw na ulit. Sabi nya, "O maglaba ka na."

the aftermath

Every morning since June 9 the first day of school, I look forward to a view like this. 

Well not necessarily this as in this coz this pic was art directed and posted on my Instagram account. But every morning, I look forward to that moment when the kids have boarded the school bus and I am back on the dining table staring at the leftovers of a hurriedly-eaten, half-eaten  or uneaten breakfast. In this case, empty mason jars of milk.

Usually I wake up at 4:30am -- more or less -- depending on last night's episode of Pinoy Big Brother or if it took me long browsing Facebook/Instagram or if I stayed up farming on Hayday. The first thing I do is iron the kids' uniforms. Then heat up water for their bath. Put together a nice, healthy (yeah right) breakfast. 

I wake the little girl first. Actually I carry her to the bathroom and wake her with the first splashes of water. After her, I wake the little big man. And while he bathes, I drag the little girl to the dining table and force feed her. I check their school bags. I pack their snacks. I try never to forget the little girl's water. I make sure to put lunch money in the little big man's pockets. Then he comes out for his breakfast. They try to annoy each other which takes up some time. I flare up a bit. I make them drink milk and vitamins. I have to remind them, always, to brush their teeth.

Before we know it, the school bus is downstairs. So we head out and then, just like that, they're gone.

Leisurely, I would go back upstairs. Sit somewhere, give a deep sigh of relief. This. Is. This. The aftermath of the beginning of my day.

Then I would load up the washing machine while watering the plants. I would clean up the mess on the dining table, wash dishes, fix the bedroom, go back outside to rinse and hang the clothes from the washing machine. I would sneak in a few minutes of Instagram and Hayday. I would fold clothes from the previous day's laundry.

After all of this is the time when I will take a bath, clean my nails and get ready for work. By 7:30am, I'm off to the office.

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

Now let's talk about when I get back at home in the evening. And not to mention, my day at work.

driver

something about not being able to drive a car has been holding me back all my life. after I graduated from college at age 20, I have set my mind that by 25 i would be driving my own car. but here i am forty-something and all and i just finished driving school a few weeks ago.

so now, i'll be driving my own life. shoulda done this a long time ago.

guess who's cooking!

so i've been proud of the little achievements i've had about cooking for the family. 

but today, the little big man did it too. a couple of times, i've told him that it's about time he learns to cook simple meals, and rice. so last night, i taught him, with the lights out and we were about to go to sleep, how to cook instant noodles. i was specific about how to turn the stove on and off because i don't want him causing a fire or getting himself burned. i told him the danger of turning it on and not having any flame being that the gas is coming out in the air and he doesn't know it and once he clicks it again, it might burst into flames. yeah, quite morbid to imagine but it's better that he knows than to regret later.

this morning, he texted me and asked again the step by step procedure. i called him and again, told him how to fire up the stove, how many cups of water to put for 2 packs, when to put in the noodles, when to pour the seasoning, how to find out if it's cooked...i told him again to be extra careful with the stove and to make sure it's turned off after cooking.

in less than 30 minutes, he texted me: 

Mommy success! Ang sarap 15 May 2014  9:49am

i'm so proud of him. he's learning to be a more responsible young man everyday. he still has a lot to learn i know, but these baby steps are all he needs and he'll be on his way. makes me a bit dreadful that soon he won't need me anymore. just this morning, he was talking about going out and exploring the world on his bike. i told him he can only bike around the neighborhood but never outside the subdivision but i will never know for sure, right? the last month, he and his little sister have been on their own during mornings (being that it's summer break here) and although they still fight a lot, i know that soon, he will be able to take on, seriously, his role as big brother.

i only pray for him and the little girl that God guides them always and that i will be able to instill in them the right values and morals they need to become the best that they can be when they grow up.

It's easier to build strong children

than to repair broken men.

~Frederick Douglass

chito's proposal to neri

y'all know i'm a sucker for wedding proposal videos and chito miranda. i feel you, neri.

growing plants

i am not into plants. i'm into pets but i don't have a pet because i cannot take care of one, what with my hyperactive, choleric, type A personality kids who take up my time and energy. i do not want plants in my life as much as i don't want pets because of the responsibility they bring.

but i've been watering my mom's plants daily for over a month now. i don't have a choice because they are placed in the front yard of our little penthouse for the longest time and there is no one to take care of them now but me. so just this summer, i get up at 5:30 in the morning to water them. everyday.

and i dunno... i've grown a slight attachment to them. i pick out dried leaves and weed out those unsightly grass that grow here and there.  i got guilty when i went on vacation for 2 days and i got home and some of them dried up a bit. i also began to treat my daily watering chore as a form of exercise, what with me dipping the tabo in the timba for each potted plant. and boy, have i got a lot of potted plants to pour into so you can just imagine how many times i bend over and carry each tabo of water to each plant.

anyway, this morning, i was in awe to find most of "my" plants healthy and.... flowering!

over the last month, i've grown too with my plants. just as i did my best to nurture them, i nurtured myself. i've learned to be self-reliant now more than ever. things i never did before on my own, i can now do by myself. cooking. laundry. house-cleaning. more recently, driving. and basically, managing my household. i have re-affirmed that God gave me trials and hard times for me to become a better person. just as those plants experienced dry season, they are now blooming in summertime.

yeah. me. blooming in summertime. :)

belated happy mother's day to me.

A garden requires labor and attention. 

Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions.

They thrive because someone expended effort on them.

~Liberty Hyde Bailey

working mom

let me forwarn you. this will be tearful.

this morning, the little big man woke up with fever while i was preparing to go to work. 

(you must know that our little family is coping with the hubby in neverland and it's just the kids and me in the little home for over a month now.)

i gave him biogesic. yes, he's taking tablet medicine now. i asked him if he was ok and he said no. he has a headache. i asked him if he wants me not to go to work and stay with him.

ikaw bahala was his reply.

(it's up to you.)

what to do? any normal, sane, caring mother knows very well that means he doesn't want to impose but of course he wants me to stay with him.

so i picked up my phone to text the office that i was not coming to work. 

before sending the text, i thought of all the things i have to do at work today. i thought of 3 scheduled meetings. i thought of my friend/officemate/department-partner who has already informed me in advance that she might not be in today so there won't be anyone to delegate the work today. i thought of the would-be-loss of 1 day's salary. 

i went back to the little big man and whispered to him that i really have to go to work. that i want to stay with him but i have committed to those 3 meetings and that there will be no one else to do the work today and so i cannot NOT go to work.

he said ok.

now, i'm at work. and i am guilty as hell. so judge me.

tears. tears and tears of regret.

sorry, anak.

She never quite leaves her children at home, 

even when she doesn't take them along.

~Margaret Culkin Banging

Good Day

I must say I had a productive day today. Second time this week. The first was last Monday, I didn't go to work but ended up enrolling in driving school, getting my student permit and finally getting my kids their new Samsung Tab3 and Samsung S Duos.

Today, a Friday, I didn't go to work again. Spent the first two waking hours driving. My teacher, Aban, is as short as me. Literally same height. He is so cool and kind I don't want anybody else to teach me.

After my lesson, the kids and I went to Notre for their enrollment. How can hard-earned money just go like that in an instant?

Insert picture here of receipt

When we got home I cooked for my mom. Later in the afternoon, I suddenly wanted to cook spaghetti for the kids. Yes, I did. Butbi found that my speghetti sauce ia expired by over a year. (Remember? I dont really cook, right.) Ran off to SM with tge little girl to get Three-cheese pasta sauce. Shopped a little too and got the little girl's school supplies.

My spaghetti was a hit. Then cooked fried chicken (in Japanese breading) later tonight for a late- night supper which the kids really enjoy. The late-night supper, I mean.

If you don't know me well, let me tell you that it's a big deal that I am cooking. And it's making me happy that I am able to do this for my kids.

Real proud of myself today.

worry

i am such a worrywart. well, i've always been like that but recently, however much i try to think positive, sometimes, it just creeps up behind me -- that feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. God knows i've done all the necessary self-motivation just so i can get away from the sadness but really, sometimes, it just comes.

Moving on

So I started using some new products for my face for 2 days now. I am planning on making myself look and feel more beautiful and confident. I won't divulge until I get some good results. Of course, the mandatory "before" shots were taken and after I finish off the products, I'll take an "after" shot to see of anything actually happened.

And let me just add that about a month ago, i also started taking these anti-oxidants and minerals (essentials from usana).

So there.

Posted via Blogaway

Me Time

Sometimes I just want to put my feet up and relax. Had a foot spa and pedi earlier and it felt so good.

I've been a bit emo since last night. My thoughts went on like this: I used to be fun.

I imagined how the friends I have now see me compared to the friends who knew me when I was... fun. I wished they would know the person that I was before I became...this.

how to cook eggs properly

i so need this video as future reference. indulge me.

it's been a while that i've been cooking meals for my kids at home now. i'm getting the hang of it. 

last week, my only fail was the pineapple chicken which turned out to be too sweet.  so far, i've done chicken sinigang, pork sinigang, sauteed squash and sitaw (which was a hit even with my parents), fried pork chops (which was kinda hard, according to my son, but tasty)...

but my fascination with all kinds of egg recipes is getting bigger. next thing you know, i'm making eggs benedict!

i should start stalking following this erwan heusaff guy.

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: 

it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. 

We are like eggs at present. 

And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. 

We must be hatched or go bad.

~ C.S. Lewis

conversations

High impact conversation with Julla last night.

She was on a tantrum spree. I say spree, because it got really long and dramatic the last few times that she ranted.

Last night I was telling her about not appreciating my efforts to give her what she wants. So I went like this:

Minsan di ako kumakain ng lunch para makatipid. Para may pambili ako ng gusto nyo. Para mapag aral ko kayo sa Notre, hindi dyan sa public.

   

Girl kept crying. Actually, more like howling. She replied angrily, E di dyan na lang ako sa Serrano mag aaral!

Hindi naman yun ang point ko. Sana lang maapreciate nyo yung sacrifices ko for you.

She then insisted sa Serrano na lang ako mag-aaral! (That's the public school near our house.)

Basta kumain ka lang. Kase pag di ka kumain, mamamatay ka. Wala rin! Wala! Wala!!

Oo nga naman.

chef duties

This may seem like I'm patronizing myself but really, you all know I hate cooking, and now I cooked yet again.

Some of you know why I am sometimes forced to cook for my kids. Some of you don't. But then I won't explain it to those who don't.

So here is what I did this morning.

Yesterday the little girl asked for chicken sinigang. She wanted soup because she wasn't feeling very well. I must say I did a fairly good job because she end her brother ate it all.

The last few times the hubby was away, I've got to say, I've been enjoying preparing my kids' food. I've enjoyed going to the grocery and the wet market even, and being able to choose the stuff our little family will eat. If this situation keeps on, I might as well get an oven and learn to bake. Hah! That'll be the day.

Sometimes I think ma be if I wasn't working full time, I may be able to domesticate myself and really be good at it. Oh did I tell you I've been doing laundry too?

Note To Self

last night, i posted this on my facebook wall and pondered upon it.

today, i talked to our company's hr manager and shared it with him -- somehow letting him know that this is my mindset for now regarding the current goings-on in the company. 

maybe another mantra in connection to this is this song that my little girl has been busy memorizing and singing almost every hour that she's awake:

my advice -- to myself -- since i guess i don't see myself leaving the company in the very near future, is to go with it, do my best, shun negative thoughts. Work.

broken nose

it was an uneventful sunday. until that fateful moment when the little big man mistakenly turned away, looked back and his opponent's foot hit him right smack on the nose. i stared at my boy, his nose bleeding while two moms approached him, applied ice on his nose. coach approached too and called off the game.

a technical knockout.

and here i go again, saying, he could've won the game had he not been hit on the nose. 

the following tuesday, i had him checked by a EENT doctor who declared, without batting an eyelash, that the little big man needs to undergo surgery -- as in, general anesthesia kind of surgery.  the f---?! at first, i was stunned. all i could think about was somebody knifing my son's face and fixing the broken bone. (later i found out, the procedure was by way of lifting the skin from the upper lip up to the nose. no wonder he needs general anesthesia!) the next thing i thought about was how much it would cost to undergo this operation. doc said a safe ballpark figure would be 70k. the f---?! i was stunned twice over.

i held back tears as i told the hubby much later. good thing he was calm and said, a surgery probably wasn't needed anyway because there's no dislocation. which was a bit comforting. later, reading through google searches about broken noses and fractured noses, i did find that a surgery is not always the only option.

which made me relax a bit. but not until we get a 2nd, 3rd opinion from a different doctor this weekend.

meantime, as always, we got another learning experience on our list. 

“One mistake does not have to rule a person's entire life.” 

― Joyce Meyer, Any Minute

An Abraham Lincoln quote

This is just to start off my Friday morning. Looking forward to the weekend.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak  by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by encouraging class hatred. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.