stats

disclaimer:  i do not intend to brag in this blog post (although it may seem like it).  this post is for my own personal future reference.  just so i know and i will have something to look back on when i eventually lose count. 

this is what i call the little big man's taekwondo record, from april 2009 to november 2010 -- 19 months into the sport:

may 23, 2009 

lourdes school, valenzuela 

under sir achilles ponce

novice, group 0

BRONZE

june 28, 2009

m.h. del pilar high school, malolos, bulacan

under sir achilles ponce

novice, group 0

SILVER

july 18, 2009

waltermart, muñoz, q.c.

novice, group 0

under sir achilles ponce

september 20, 2009

region 3 cpj taekwondo championship

tarlac state university, tarlac

under sir achilles ponce

novice, group 0

BRONZE

october 11, 2009

seminary, guiguinto, bulacan

under sir achilles ponce

novice, group 0

october 18, 2009 promotion to high yellow

meycauayan, bulacan

promoted by sir moben angeles

october 25, 2009

sta. cecilia college, valenzuela

under sir achilles ponce

novice, group 0

 

november 14, 2009 

region 3 taekwondo championship

robinsons mall, cabanatuan city

under sir moben angeles

novice, group 0

GOLD

november 29, 2009

bagong bulakeño games

bulacan capitol gymnasium, malolos

under sir achilles ponce

novice, group 1

GOLD

december 13, 2009

camanava smart taekwondo championship

sta. cecilia college, valenzuela

under sir achilles ponce 

novice, group 1

SILVER

march 7, 2010

2nd mayor tito oreta taekwondo championship

oreta sports center, malabon city

under sir achilles ponce

novice, group 1

GOLD

promotion to low blue

march 21, 2010

region 3 new face taekwondo championship
megacenter, cabanatuan city

under sir moben angeles

novice, group 1

GOLD

may 16, 2010

san diego parochial school, pulo, valenzuela

under sir achilles ponce

novice, group 1

BRONZE

may 23, 2010

milo summer 

bulacan capitol gymnasium

under sir moben angeles

novice, group 1

GOLD

june 5, 2010

friendship games

greenfield subd, guiguinto

under sir moben angeles

novice, group 1 

GOLD

june 13, 2010

promotion to high blue

batallion fitness gym, meycauayan

june 26, 2010

carlos palanca jr. taekwondo championship

sm pampanga

under sir moben angeles

novice, group 1

GOLD

july 31, 2010

smart national taekwondo championship

rizal memorial coliseum, manila

september 18, 2010

hundred islands taekwondo championship

alaminos, pangasinan

under sir moben angeles

advance, group 1 (tried out the red belt)

BRONZE

october 3, 2010
region 3 cpj taekwondo championship
tarlac state university, tarlac city
under sir moben angeles
novice, group 1

november 14, 2010

tagaytay taekwondo championship
tagaytay city

under sir moben angeles

novice, group 1

SILVER

TO DATE:  7 GOLDS, 3 SILVERS, 4 BRONZES -- not bad, i'd say. :)

the backseat

last month, the hubby and i quit paying for the little big man's school bus service and started driving him to and from school everyday.  and eversince this new routine started, our little girl , whose class schedule permits it, comes along every trip.  never mind that she's in her jammies or her hair is all in disarray, she has to be in that car with us, wherever that car goes.

she doesn't like to sit in the backseat unless she is asleep so sometimes i let her sit on my lap in front and she wraps my arms around her so she has a human seatbelt.  so we threw in a pillow and blanket that's permanently in the car for her.  we also put in a couple of CDs of the music she likes so she won't get bored.  yes, justin bieber and taylor swift goes with us everywhere too.

recently, she has been insistent in staying in front with me.  her dad always tells her that it's against traffic rules and he might get caught but we still let her because she looks at us with her pitiful cow eyes that make us feel darn guilty.  so why not?  but today, we have come up with a resolution.

i realized that what she really wants is to sit with me.  not necessarily in front.  so i told her that beginning tomorrow, we will sit together at the backseat and let her brother sit in front.  which was so fine with her that her cow eyes turned so full of glee.  oh, i could hug her to pieces!

young mom

i am horrified in this bit of news i read today:

10-Year-Old in Spain Is Not the First or Youngest Child Mom

 how could a child so young possibly conceive a baby?  i am rattled and i need to check myself first for signs of a heart attack. 

blood pressure, check.

palpitation, check.

miracle water

so my friend andre just got back from korea and he was raving about how beautiful it was there, that he wanted to go back next year and explore places and the food more.  one of the many highlights of his trip was at naju to visit julia kim. 

i read about julia kim through forwarded emails from friends and family long ago and i was awed at the miracles that have happened to her.   andre, bless him, was so awed to meet her himself and i saw how happy he was as he related to me his experience.  then, he took from his pocket two small bottles containing miracle water from the spring at naju where julia kim lived.   this water brings healing to sicknesses.  he told me one was for my dad and the other for me.  i am thankful.

so when i told the hubby, little big man and the little girl about it, most excited was the little big man.  i tried to explain to them kids how it works.  that it's water that we will drink and we will be healed of whatever sickness we have, by faith.  of course, their young minds cannot grasp this completely yet and they ended up thinking that they can make a wish through it and their wish will come true.  i let them think of it as such forewarning them that God does not always grants wishes right away if He thinks its not yet meant for them.  i was concerned that they will be disapointed with the miracle water if their wish or prayer was left unanswered.  i was teaching them faith.

so on monday morning before going to school and work, the four of us gathered together and each said their own silent prayer with eyes shut tight.  then one by one, i dropped the water on each's mouth.  i felt the purity and sincerity of the moment. 

last night, on our way home the little big man told me what he wished for.  he said he asked God to take away his not so nice habit of letting his mouth hang open when in thought or doing something.  he also asked that he become an honor student.  and that he gets to have lots and lots of toys.  i had to smile at how innocent and simple his wish was, which i know for sure God will grant in some way.

then he asked me what i wished for.  i was hesitant but he insisted and told me that it's ok to share it with him.  so i told him i wished that everything they (i.e., him, little girl and their dad) wished for be granted. 

why? he asked, confused.

because it will make me happy if your wish is granted.

but this was your chance to wish for something for yourself and you gave it to us?

i just smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

yes, anak, because i love you too much i'd give anything for your happiness.  my wish is that someday you will pass it on and live a good life and make me proud that i have raised you well.

grace

 i strongly believe i was saved from imminent danger this morning.

i was in a cab with the little big man on our way to his school then to my office.  (tuesdays the car is coded so he and i are on our own without the hubby.)

driver:  ma'am anong oras na?  [what thime is it?]

he looked at me, not from the rearview mirror when he asked this.  he actually turned his head to me at the backseat so i saw his face and he didn't look pleasant.  call me paranoid but something about him made me feel uncomfortable.

me:  quarter to seven.

few minutes later.  he turned towards me again while driving.

driver:  ma'am smart ka?  

in my mind, he meant if i had a cellphone and if i used smart network?  and in my mind, why the f*ck did he need to know?  this made me more uneasy.

 me:  hindi po.  [no.]

the little big man and i talked quietly as we drove on.

after another few minutes, he turned to me again.

driver:  ma'am tapos deretso tayo quezon avenue?

me:  opo.

yes, that was my instruction the moment i stepped in his cab.  he knew i was just going to drop off my kid in school and then, go to quezon avenue where he will drop me off. why the heck did he keep turning with a weird look on his face?  

it was only a few minutes away from the little big man's school.  i decided to hold out till we're there and get off the cab.  i checked the meter, took out the bills to pay for how much it would cost and when we finally parked in front of the school, i handed it to him, took my son's hand and bag and got off.

driver:  hindi na kayo sasakay?

me:  hindi na po. dadaan pa pala ko sa tutor ng anak ko.

and i shut the door.

grace:  also called state of grace. the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/grace 

heart problem

it was too easy to find the doctor's clinic near the old city municipal building, in front of the signage that reads PULIS.  the weather wasn't too hot, a little bit windy in fact.  i was calm.

less than a week before, the bad news was spilled out to me and had to wait for this day to confirm the truth to this.  i had so many morbid thoughts about it.  one night, i couldn't even sleep thinking about it.  i even got teary eyed upon reading something about living only up to five years.  

so after one and a half hours, the secretary finally summoned me to the doctor's office as it was already my turn.  the heart doctor had a kind face with chinky eyes and a nice smile.  he asked me why i was there and i presented to him the medical findings and the ECG result.  he looked it over and asked me about my family's medical background, if i smoked, if i drank liquor, if i was into sports.  to all of which, i replied no.  he grinned.

he stood up and put his stethoscope on my back and listened.  then he asked me to lie on his examination table.  more listening.  and me breathing, in, out..... in, out.....

it turned out i wasn't sick at all.  the doctor and i with hubby ended up laughing at how paranoid i had been for the past week.  he even kidded, in exasperation, "your mom kept calling me, i was playing tennis!"  i realized my mom was probably worried about it too but didn't show it, just as i didn't let it show too.

and so, for now, i can rest assured that i will live to see the day my kids become adolescents to which a week ago, i almost thought i won't.  i will still have the chance to earn my first million.  i will still be able to go back to running and aerobics, maybe shift to kickboxing or something more rigorous.  i will still be able to do a lot of things i have yet to write on my bucket list.  for now, i am more than thankful that i am healthy and i am happy. thank God!

one sunday afternoon in orani

nothing beats a lazy sunday afternoon with family and close relatives.  at least, for me that's true.  it was a spur of the moment decision to drive up to orani, bataan and spend the day there and hear mass at the old holy rosary parish church where my dad got my name.

we sat with my cousins, brothers, aunt and mom around a table heartily eating, sans utensils, with bear hands!  there's sugpo (big shrimps!), rellenong bangus (yes, that's stuffed fish), roasted chicken and rice.  and what's that fish with the soup?  ice cold soda was passed around along with stories and funny anecdotes.  we were the same cousins who used to run around the big old ancestral home of our grandparents while our moms and dads chatted like they did forever about how each's lives have turned out over the years.

now it's our kids, who seldom see their cousins, who are running around the garden to the parking lot cum walkway, up the small nipa hut behind the house.   

 it was worth the trip.  at the end of the day, i felt a sense of peace and love as i entered the church -- the reason why we visited.  it always feels like a miracle is going to happen everytime i see the lady of the rosary perched behind the altar in all her sparkling glory.  it feels like i am in her warm embrace and nothing is going to harm me or my family. i am thankful for my family and my small group of close relatives who are in fact, the miracles in my life. 

mortality

what a morbid way to start a day.

i was sitting in the cab on my way to work and started recalling the events of the day before.  it was the first time i was by myself since i read the medical recommendation.

i shut my eyes tight and thought how it would feel like in the last few moments before i die.  it would be totally dark, exactly like the state i was in with my eyes closed.  i would still hear the sounds around me.  i would shiver in the sudden cold that envelopes me.  then slowly, slowly, i would slip into oblivion... i imagine this to be the way i would like to go.  no pain, just peaceful.  happy.  ready.  no worries about those i would leave behind.

it was yesterday afternoon when they called everyone at the office to get the results of our annual physical examination.  i went up casually to kathy who was releasing the print outs of the results and she told me -- casually too -- that i needed to consult with a cardiologist regarding my ecg exam.  it didn't sink in right away.  i took the print out, randomly went over the report and found at the bottom what she was talking about:  ADVISE CONSULT.  Further, i checked the other half sheet of paper where it said the following:

Electrocardiogram

Rhythm: Sinus Bradycardia

Interpretation: Poor R wave progression

 Left axis Deviation

upon realization what this means, i tried to find a chair to sit on.  what if i have heart failure and i'm gonna die soon?  (i know now that i was overreacting but what did you expect?!)  

i thought of my kids and how young they still are to lose their mother.  (ok, ok i can see you're slowly breaking into a smile, whoever you are reading this!)  

then came flashbacks of me having those episodes of having shortness of breath in the last 12 months or so.  (could those have been symptoms?)    also those headaches..... fatigue usually after work hours..... headaches...

when i got back to my table, i immediately googled the diagnosis.  sinus bradycardia is a sinus rhythm with a resting heart rate of 60 beats per minute or less. however, few patients actually become symptomatic until their heart rate drops to less than 50 beats per minute. the action potential responsible for this rhythm arises from the sinus node and causes a P wave on the surface ECG that is normal in terms of both amplitude and vector. these P waves are typically followed by a normal QRS complex and T wave.  (lifted from emedicine website)

simply put, my heart is beating slowly.

today i am reminded of my mortality. and  today i resolve to see that cardiologist this weekend and get this over with.  my health is more important now more than ever because my children depend on me to always be there for them.  i cannot afford to miss out on all those meaningful events in their lives.  i cannot NOT be strong enough to defend them in times of trouble.  any problem with me or my state of being simply CANNOT BE.

the Nth medal

i am not bragging, although i usually am when it comes to the little big man's achievements.  but i honestly lost track already of how many medals he's won.  i also already forgot how many competitions he has participated in but i'm sure it's less than twenty, more than ten.

so last weekend it was a bronze.  it was in alaminos, pangasinan, home of the hundred islands of the philippines.  the guy he lost to was from baguio.  we have heard lots of stories about baguio players -- that they train literally everyday, that they run uphill so they have stronger body resistance, that they "down-grade" (i don't know how to call it and if that's the right term at all)  their belts, i.e. if a player is a red belt he competes as a blue belt (lower) so he usually wins.

anyway, on our part, coach decided to make the little big man play a higher belt.  he's only a high blue in novice level but coach told him to wear a red belt and threw him in the pit with an advance level opponent.  he won his first game via sudden death.  unfortunately, he lost in the semi-finals but managed to be 3rd with a bronze medal.

overall, our team was 4th place among 23 competing teams.  not bad for our team who only had 15 players unlike others who had 50.  and the experience was well worth it because we not only won a tournament, we also won friendships with families of team mates.

small talk

got the little big man's 1st quarter report card last saturday.  was good.  as expected, his highest grade was in math and phys ed.  his homeroom teacher, ms. torrefranca informed me that academically, he was doing good.  their only problem with him is his being talkative in class. 

i can't deny.  my son is very opinionated and can't shut his mouth.  he will say everything and anything that comes to his mind, no matter what the situation or the circumstance.  he will explain when he's being reprimanded.  he will comment on other people's conversations.  he will always have something to say on somebody else's business.  i know for a fact that he did not get that from me.  i am one of the most tactful people i know.  it can't have come from me, no sir.  the hubby, although he vehemently and laughingly denies this, is to blame.

teacher clare, his tutor told me exactly the same thing.  i was informed that he is as good as the 1st honor student in her tutor class and she's confident about his intellectual capabilities.  but her only complaint was that he can't seem to contain his thoughts and comments to himself.  though whenever he is reminded, he immediately says sorry and keeps quiet, for a while, until he forgets again to mind his own business.

so this morning, on his first day back to school, i reminded the little big man to try shutting his trap for at least when he isn't being talked to.  with a daily dose of that, i am a little bit confident he's gonna be in the honor roll next quarter.  i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

water costume

and so the little big man performed in a field demo in school for their foundation day celebration.  they did an interpretative dance, their batch representing water among the elements.  other batches were air and water.  they won the "most unique" award.

from afar, watching him, i was awed at how he's grown.  he's 8 years old now and in 3rd grade.  a lot has changed within, around and for him.  his school, his height, his daily routine, his activities, his likes and dislikes, his attitude, his achievements, his intelligence, his EQ.  i feel that this year is one of the best years of his life because of the turning points that occurred from big decisions that we made.

but i'm supposed to talk about his costume.  :)  it wasn't easy to get his costume done.  first he needed white long sleeved leotards.  i knew just where to get them in that aisle in sm hypermarket where we got the little girl's ballet outfit last summer.  no problem.  

then there's the royal blue pants that semi-looked like pajamas.  i was sure our neighbor, who sews scrub suits for a living, will find a perfect royal blue fabric and sew it in no time.  hubby insisted to go looking for it somewhere else despite this but he came back empty-handed after scouring stalls and depstores.  true enough, i was right. luckily, we got it the day before the event.  black rubber slippers too on the same day.

and then there's the head dress.  that's a whole story on its own.  i got the blue foil, sequins, elmer's glue-all, black electric tape and illustration board at national bookstore.  the pattern was given to them at school and the little big man proudly announced few days before the event that he had cut it out by himself.  the task was to cover it with blue foil, stick the silver sequins all around the edges and make it stand on his head without falling down while performing.  i thought it was a piece of cake.  or so i thought.

as i stood back, looking at the whole ensemble, i think i now know what poseidon would look like if he were gay.  i told hubby that this would be something my son would look back on 20 years from now and be embarrassed about.  it looked so gay!  LOL!

sick, sick!

why, oh why, did i have to get sick!?  just when i ran out of sick leaves and just when i had tons to do at work and just when i needed to take another leave for the little big man's school activity!?

as i write (or type), i am light-headed and woozy but my fever is gone, thank goodness for bioflu.  the little girl is also just recovering from almost a week-long fever and tonsilitis.  her pedia had her blood tested for dengue too, just like the little big man last week.  the hubby is having headaches as well.  

seems to me that everytime one of us gets sick, the rest of the family follows.  hubby thinks it has something to do with our house.  wrong feng shui?  so he's thinking of rearranging the furniture again soon.  or moving to a new place, perhaps?  we've not actually moved on with our start of 2010 plans of getting a house so there's not much choice but to get an apartment.  

so let me leave it at that for the meantime coz i really feel i need to go back to bed now.  sniff.

monday dinner

so it was a monday and a holiday in our little country and the four of us -- the hubby, the little big man, the little girl and me -- went to dine out, for the heck of it.  mainly coz we didn't have househelp during weekends and holidays  and hubby didn't want to cook.  and y'all know i don't.

so in our pambahay and tsinelas, we went al fresco at chow king -- a couple of hundred steps just outside our home.

migo had fever since sunday night but still had an appetite so we decided to get him one of his favorites, sweet and sour pork.  no softdrinks, thank you.  i'm proud of him that he is not into that.

julla was her usual self, trying her mighty best not to eat anything.  i force fed her some siomai and tiny bits of pork with sweet and sour sauce mixed in with rice by bribing her that she won't get any lollipops tomorrow.

and their dad?  well, he pretty much ate everything up just as he usually does.  since i don't eat much during dinner, he gets to consume my share of the meal.

i like it that we have these simple feasts.  it makes me secure that this little family is well-bonded and happy.

today will be better, i swear

today i am reminded of the story of the mother who taught her daughter (or is it the father who taught his son?  or the professor who taught the student?) about the different ways people respond to problems in life.  she brought with her a potato, an egg and coffee and each put these items in boiling water.  the potato came out softened, the egg came out hard-boiled and the coffee changed the water and made it a totally different entity.

all my life i've known myself to be the cry-baby of our family.  i was always the unassertive daughter compared to my more intelligent older brother and sanguine younger brother.  so i was a potato.  ironic though that i was the more independent one among the three of us.  i asked for my own room while still in elementary while my siblings stuck it out with ima for the longest time.  i did my own homeworks without my mom's assistance as early as 1st grade.  i never asked my parents to use their connections so i can land a job after i finished college.  i decided for myself, always believing that i have to do things on my own so i will never have to blame anybody else for failure but myself.

i've noticed one thing about myself that i've not really considered that i guess i've had for some time now.  i have learned to immune myself from negative things that are happening in my life.  i don't cry over problems as often as i used to.  i don't get depressed for more than  a few minutes.  it's not like i'm always happy, it's more like i always find something to smile about despite the challenges that come my way.  i've learned how to sit back unaffected while everybody else is panic-stricken all around me.  have  i become a hard-boiled egg?   jaded?  or have i merely accepted the things i cannot change?

maybe i should read about the phlegmatic personality again.  this post has started to depress me. :)

so i want to be coffee.  i want to be able to turn situations around.  make better things out of not so good things.  find the silver lining behind every cloud. 

for inspiration, here's the song:

today will be better, i swear. -- stars

pagbabago

i've been keeping diaries since i was in high school, in the written form, in cute notebooks i buy.  my objective was, like everybody else who does this, to keep my memories on ink and paper.  just in case i get alzheimer's someday, i'd be able to read back. 

then came the world wide web. i started this blog as an online diary.  and it was timely that my hubby and i, with our then 2-year old son were going to move out of my parents' house into our own home.  thus, the title of this blog "our dwelling."

below is my very first blog entry on December 24, 2004 that started a major change in my life.

"today is my last day at work before i go on vacation for the holidays. within this vacation, me and cesar and migo will transfer to our new home. it will be just the three of us and our nanny. this is a major turning point in my life since you all know i've lived with my parents, brothers and ima all my life. i've never lived anywhere else except for a few days when i go abroad for work or the weekends i spent away when i was still a team member of sade.

my life has always been intertwined with my parents, brothers, ima & tyrone. things will be so, so different now that i will officially become "a homemaker". i will be in charge of everything now, there will be nobody to depend on but me, myself & i. i will do the cooking, shopping, laundry... gosh, a jillion things... and it does seem so hard. my boss asked me why i wanted to live on my own when i had it so easy with my parents. i said it's about time i did. funny but however frightening it seems to not be with my parents, i am pretty excited to plunge into this new phase in my life. i know it will be hard. but i chose this new life. come to think of it, i should've chosen this 3 years ago when i married cesar.

anyway, wish me luck!"

click here for actual blog entry
 

today, 6 years later, i could say that i've grown into a different but better person.  independent of my parents, i now draw strength from my own little family, with 2  adorable kids and a loving hubby.  through it all, goldilocks took part in every birthday, anniversary and any occasion this little family had to celebrate. 

looking back, my life would've been totally different had i not decided to live on my own.  and i come to realize that change, no matter how difficult, is something that is inevitable and all i have to do is accept, cope and face up to the challenge.

here's to more happy years ahead!

mommy matters

the other night, the little big man handed me a brown sheet of paper from school.  it read "pupil's behavioral report".  it showed 5 minor offenses committed by him to which i had to sign to prove that i am informed of this situation.

i was saddened by this that i couldn't help but shed a few tears right in front of my son.  which made him feel soooo full of remorse.  he cried and hugged me and promised to behave in school from now on.

makes me think of all those times that my friends would tell me what a great mom i am.  to which i always tell them that i actually have a lot -- a whole lot, for that matter -- of flaws as a mother.  for one thing, i do not cook.  i do not iron clothes, much less wash them.  i spend too much time on facebook, farmville and market street instead of sitting with them through a good book.  i don't know how to braid or even tie my daughter's hair properly that won't make her look like she's having a bad hair day.  i let them get dirty but i do make them wash up after.  i sometimes forget to check their homeworks, boo!!  i don't wake up in the middle of the night to make them pee , thus, a wet bed at 3 a.m.

i cannot, for the life of me, bear the smell of barf but i am unbelievably able to clean up several ounces of julla's fresh barf every so often.  i learned to clean up my kids' poo back during their diaper-wearing days too.  i am ever patient with them when they are being whiny or clingy.  i do wash the dishes.  i sew my kids' names inside their underwear and i make fabulous name tags for their books, notebooks and school supplies which i  really think is quite cool.  i read to them whenever i can (or when i'm not on facebook hahah!).  i buy them cool clothes, shoes and toys believing it boosts their confidence to have cool things.  i make sure they go to good schools and expose them to everything i can to make them well-rounded persons.   i lie in bed with open arms and let each kid snuggle up in each armpit, every night, hugging them to me until they fall asleep.  by request, i skip work to spend a whole day with them.  and everyday, i go straight home from work to maximize family time. (and facebook time, har-har!)  i attend every school activity or extra-curricular event that my kid is involved in. 

i wake them up gently.  i tickle them.  i bathe them.  i kiss and hug them as often as i can and as much as they'll allow me.  i never break promises as long as i can help it.  i

i  could go on and on.  yet, i can never claim to be worst mom in the world.  nor the greatest.  i think, each mom has something only her own children will benefit from.  the way we love them is our own.  we will only know we're doing the right thing everytime they hug us back, kiss us back. 

Don't worry that your children never listen to you:

worry that they are always watching you. 

--Robert Fulghum

hot

at jollibee with my little big man, my little girl and the hubby on a sunday afternoon.  we ordered chicken joys, jolly hotdogs, peach mango pies, no softdrinks please as the kids have already learned not to drink those.  instead, we asked for glasses with ice and fetched purified water from their dispenser.

we had to wait couple of minutes for the chicken after specifying we wanted thigh part for all of us.  so as we waited, conversation with the kids and the hubby went from how much time they'd be able to nap before we hear mass, to the reason why migo always loses his ballpen or ID or book in school, to why julla should sit properly on her chair and not remove her slippers in public places such as this and that public congested places usually cause people to get sick.

then migo asked from out of the blue, mommy what does feeling is hot mean in tagalog?

slightly irked, believing that he knows the answer, only he wanted to sound inquisitive, i replied, eh di mainit ang pakiramdam.  pag feeling mo nilalagnat ka.  feeling is hot.

to which he replied, almost puzzled, eh bakit sya nakasulat sa peach mango pie?

quota

in the retail business where i'm at, there's such a thing called quota.  every month, each department is required to meet a minimum amount of sales that will total the desired sales for the month of the brand.

last december, my department reached 137% of our quota, which gave me great pride in what i do.  after that, the next months till today, the highest we ever reached was 92%, in which times i've  suddenly questioned my capacity to make saleable jeans.

this past week, there have been sales issues in the office and i heard of a meeting amongst the vp for finance, accounting manager and merchandisers.  it turned out that my department was, to quote the accounting manager, the healthiest among the departments.  she said that, although we did not reach our quota the last 6 months, there is a steady growth in our sales per month. further, we do not have "sleeping" inventory, we don't give too high discounts during sale events aside from having a healthy profit margin in the products we sell.  which means, we are contributing to sales more than we thought.

big smile on my face.  can you say that again, nem?

i would like to believe that i'm the best at what i do.  it's something i think i can do even in my sleep.  sometimes, i even think it's too easy.  but sometimes, i feel so unappreciated and taken for granted and i get discouraged and think maybe i'm getting old for this job.

but having told of this development at work made me gain back the confidence and respect i have for what i do.  it also reaffirmed that i am doing the right thing.  it's like a pat on the back that made me want to strive even more to outdo myself and it gave me more reason to continue what i do.

folded&hungjeans pre-holiday collection at f&h stores this august.  check it out.

photography

and so my dream to delve into photography begins in august 2010.

back in college, i had a photography class that turned out to be useless.  our prof only showed up on the first day of class to tell us what plates to submit every week, which places to go to shoot and gave us a super brief lecture on aperture and shutter speed.  i never got to go into the dark room and develop actual pictures.  i didn't see him again.  not even during the submission of plates.  next i saw him was during the finals to get our class cards and our grades. 

it began during my pre-wedding preparations. i was looking for a good photographer for my wedding so i browsed at different websites checking out the works of local and foreign photographers and the uneducated me loved most of what she saw.  i've been appreciative of a good, well-thought of photograph since.   and i thought, i want to do this too.

so armed with a 5megapixel point and shoot digicam, i started documenting occasions, trips, even ordinary days by shooting candid, unexpected, supposedly unstudied photos of people and places.  my digital photos use up most of my computer's disk space and it even caused my old computer to crash.  i was literally crushed when that happened because most of my elder son's baby pictures are there and they were gone.

my best photos (in my opinion) are those captured the first time.  if i try to repeat the same angle of the same subject, it usually isn't better than the first.  or it comes out differently, not the way i wanted to.  i like shooting off center.  i like to put a story in my photographs.  i like unconventional composition.  but technically, i know nothing.

this week, i got me a dslr -- a nikkon d3000.  they call it an entry level dslr ideal for beginners like me.  i'm tinkering, clicking, focusing away since friday but i have yet to schedule a  trip to somewhere where i can shoot a decent digital photograph to make it useful.  but like i said, this is where it all begins....

tryout

sports is human life in microcosm. 

-howard cosell

i don't know why i found it irrelevant to blog about my little big man being first pick at the tryout last week for the  bulacan team that will compete in the national championships.  somehow, i didn't write about it so i won't seem redundant in this blog, with the lame belief that i had too many readers who might get bored of the same ol' topic.  it's always about him and his taekwondo achievements so i thought i'd wait until the actual championship to write again.

so came the 33rd National Taekwondo Championship, 31 July 2010.  my little big man migo had a fantastic performance in his first game with a 21-5 score and a very damaging axe kick in the first round so his opponent conceded before the second round could start.

unfortunately, his team didn't win in the championship yesterday.  migo severely lost his second game with consecutive roundhouse hits to his head which caused his opponent to break away in points.  coach protested that the opponent must be overstaying in novice category but went unheeded.  but since the team won  3-2 despite his loss, they went on to a third game.  but migo lost again by a mere one point and two other teammates didn't make it so the team lost.  had he won or any of the other two won, they could've moved on to the next fight for bronze and if they won again, it was for the gold.

i felt how disappointed migo was as he held back tears while he slumped beside me at the bleachers.  it was his first national competition after winning many provincial and regional finals, and he failed.  everybody had high expectations of him and he didn't pull it through.

but now i know the relevance of the tryout.  as i look back,  his tryout last week for this competition was one of his major achievements.  being chosen amongst many, standing out from the rest, being personally hand-picked by the top coaches in bulacan.

yesterday's competition was his tryout for the bigtime.  where he did not make it.  YET.  which was what his dad and i told him.  it only meant he still had a  lot to learn and there is  still much room for improvement.  his coach and his dad found where he was weak at and now know where to concentrate in his training.  that next year, he will no longer be in novice and will be fighting in advance category and he will come back next year with a whole new armor.  

yes, it would've been super great had he and his team won.  but it only made him more eager to learn and improve his sport and look forward to next year's nationals.  it was not only a lesson in defeat but a lesson in winning.

my cousin commented in my facebook status that someday migo will go international.

not yet, malynn.  BUT WE WILL, i promise you that.