what makes a champion?

indeed, what does it take to make a taekwondo champion?  my kid's shirt, which hubby and i conceptualized ourselves, had it made to order by ourselves, says it all...

migo's 7th gold in tkd, 26 june 2010

...and God does the rest.

gold for lolo roging

Migo dedicates this gold to his Lolo Roging (my Dad's brother) whose cremation was on the day this championship was held.  Lolo Roging was always happy to know whenever my Dad tells him that Migo won a competition.  The last time Migo saw him alive, he just came from another competition wherein he got his 6th gold. 

Pictures:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/album.php?aid=189146&id=554330776&ref=mf

crush

this is the post i was composing before my uncle passed away and only got the chance to be posted today.

julla announced last weekend, while watching a local noontime show on tv, that "mommy, crush ko yan.  ano name nyan?"

"si elmo.  elmo magalona yan, anak ni francis magalona."

she stares.  "ahh...elmo..." contemplates.

last month, she declared that she had 5 crushes:  "si baste, (counting with her fingers) si justin bieber, si japoy, si kuya macky.... at si.... kuya migo!"

should i be worried?  elmo makes 6!



so here's the top 5:

1.  baste luna is the character of jhake vargas in the now defunct tv series "first time" which starred him, joshua dionisio and this girl named barbie who julla idolizes/likes/imitates and she thinks they look alike.

2. justin bieber.  we all know who he is.  if you don't, you're OLD.  here's my super wide grin at ya!  :D

3. japoy lizardo is that boy in the milo commercial who is a known local taekwondo player.  i somehow think he resembles jhake, maybe because of the hairstyle.  i think he's her first crush back when she was 3 years old.

4.  macky is migo's teammate in taekwondo who's a varsity player of ateneo.  julla saw him in one of migo's matches and decided he was cute.  a few weeks ago, we were at practice and i noticed him sitting with his girlfriend.  i pointed them to julla and told her that the girl beside him was his girlfriend.  she looked at her, sizing her up.  i mischievously asked her, "sino mas maganda sa inyong dalawa?"  she considered this and without batting an eyelash, she replied, "ako."

5.  migo, well, she adores her brother a lot.  which is a good thing.  despite them fighting often.

i must say, with her choices above, my kid knows cute.  eh? 

marriage and then some

today is a testimony of my love for him more than ever.  ok, i promise this won't be cheesy.  just a matter-of-fact translation of what i actually feel right now.

i was thinking this morning on my way to work, that i've already accepted his mistakes and shortcomings.  yes, after almost 9 years i am finally able to cope.  i guess.  i hope. 

there was a time when i almost gave up on this marriage.  and today i think that experience made our bond stronger.  and all the negative things that happened and may still be happening has brought us to a new level in our relationship, a deeper understanding of our many conflicting personalities that i realized, compliment each other.  like now, his bad temper makes me appreciate when he is extra sweet.  when he does things that are wrong for me, i am reminded of the many right things he does.  when he sometimes scolds the kids excessively, i know he loves them more than they'll ever know.  sometimes, he can be a bit offensive with his words but this is put to good use when he is defending me and our family.  which makes me secure that he will always protect us.  through the years, he has learned to apologize sincerely.  

today his imperfections became the perfect tools for me to decide to love him more.  after all, marriage is not just love, it's a decision. 

gone

i was drafting two blog entries yesterday in my head.  one, a funny anecdote about julla.  the other, a reflection on my being the most imperfect mother.  but i have to leave them on the dashboard for now.

my dad's younger brother passed away last night at 11:50pm.  a day after father's day.  two days before his sister's 1st death anniversary.  on my parents' 41st wedding anniversary.

it was inevitable.  colon cancer.  two weeks ago, his daughter came home from the states and we think he got better while she was here.  that was the last time i saw him.

i grieve with my cousins for the loss of their dad.  i was never really that close to him.  technically, he's my godfather because his wife is officially my baptismal and wedding godmother but i was never really close to him.  but when i was very young, i remember he would always tease me in some way that i didn't quite appreciate.  his family and my dad's family, being the only ones living in manila while the rest of his brothers and sisters are in bataan and the states, always got together when us kids were very young.  

into adulthood, i drifted away.  what with my work, my married life and concentration on my own family, it became seldom that i got to see or talk to him and my cousins.  but the times we do get together -- birthdays, weddings, funerals, i always felt the bond among us.   through the last eight weeks of uncle's , i felt it even more.  that blood is indeed thicker than water.  that no matter what i do, where i go, we are connected in some divine way.  that we still care for each other.  that despite everything we've been through, we will always be there for each other.  like right now.

you may not believe it, tiong roging, but i will truly miss you.  R.I.P.

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome."

-- Jimi Hendrix

happy father's day

For my Dad

For my Hubby

airplanes

"....can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars?  i could really use a wish right now...wish right now...."  -b.o.b. featuring hayley williams

as i listen to these lines in full volume with my kids playing /annoying each other at the same time in the background, i anxiously count down the hours till it's time to go to migo's new school.  it has been a long time since it felt like this. 

it's less than 24 hours now.

as i've said in a previous post, migo will be transferring to a new school.  i have the jitters more than he for it is like starting all over again.  he will be in a different environment: new classmates, new teachers, new opportunities and challenges, new schedules... new life.  he is going into uncharted territory and he doesn't know it but i know it's scary. 

i remember the first time i was going to ride an airplane. i was so excited.  i knew i was going to experience something new, discover a new country and learn new things.  little did i know  that going there, we will experience something else while flying. during flight, there is such a thing as clear air turbulence wherein there are no cumulus clouds and there is erratic movement of air.  they cannot be seen by the pilot and usually catches them by surprise.  the passengers of the airplane usually feels a jolt, much like when riding a car and you drive over potholes.  only here, you're suspended in air and you don't know what could happen.  after a while, once past these air pockets, the ride becomes smooth again.

tomorrow is a turning point in my son's life.  i admit i'm afraid of the air pockets he may encounter for the next ten months in the new school.  for i know he has to do this alone.  me and hubby can only sit in the sidelines and let him do his stuff.  but just as we let him get into the taekwondo court by himself, we will be confidently looking on, believing he will make it through, supporting him and shouting, Go Migo!

meetings

yesterday i met an old soul just like me.  we already met about 2 months ago and i guess, being the "way we are", didn't really get to know each other immediately.  see, she and i... we're slow to warm up to people.  funny i didn't see the connection from the start.  

so we talked about my sick uncle, irregular bowel movement, her stint down under, my kid's school, her kilig love story, her design portfolio, my choice of church for my wedding.  

speaking of weddings, she's getting married next year.  her fiance is aries, just like my hubby.  she's pisces which was an omg moment because although i was born aquarian, i strongly believe that i am a pisces.  (i was born premature, 2 weeks early but that is another long story worthy of another blog entry.  well, next time.)

which led us to find out that we feel the same way about a lot of things, we handle situations the same way and that we are both "listeners" not "talkers."  that we experienced the same emotions on our first few weeks at work and that we dealt with it in the same manner.

thus, reaffirms my belief that every person we meet was meant to be a part of our life.  that there are no meetings by accident.  that god lets them come our way for a reason.  and that they will have a particular role in our existence.

for now, i still don't know yet her role in mine or my role in hers.   i just know we clicked.  like a snap of a finger.

let's pretend

where do pretentious people come from?  are they born that way or do they evolve from childhood through experiences they cannot control, thus ending up the way they are?  why can't they just be true to themselves?

found this interesting read on being pretentious. 

Pretentious. Adjective - attempting to impress by affecting greater importance or merit than is actually possessed.

Anyone can be pretentious if they set their mind to it. However, there's more to it than sitting around in your dressing gown, listening to classical music and reading The French Lieutenant's Woman on a Sunday afternoon. Being pretentious is pointless unless people can see you doing it. Being seen is everything for the dedicated follower of pretensiousness.

there's more if you click on the link. 

sixth

6th gold yesterday

green estates friendship games

guiguinto, bulacan

not really a significant taekwondo competition

but nevertheless.

cannot find the right words to make a blog entry worth-reading so...

blogging this for the record.

proud momma, again.

on to trivial things, like TV

so it's june 2nd.  we're halfway through the year and i think we're doing a pretty good job.  i think.

a while ago, a good friend of mine told me she and her family are moving and they're selling most of their furniture and appliances to make way for new ones or existing ones at the new house, which is actually the family home of her husband.  anyway, she was telling me about being able to cut down on some expenses specifically their cable tv.

which made me think why in heck don't we have cable connection at home.  

i grew up without it because my mom believed that it creates gaps among families because instead of talking to one another at the dinner table, the tv grabs everyone's attention.  so she made a rule that we cannot watch tv during dinner.  she also believed that we should read books instead of watching endless television programs. she did let us watch what was available in the local channels but she closely monitored what shows we watched.  so i grew up familiar with shows on free tv.

when i married, i discovered my hubby and i both didn't watch tv.  and when the kids came, they were automatically not fans of tv either.  for some time, i've considered getting cable for myself so i'd be able to  watch glee or american idol on the actual day they're being aired so that i would be up-to-date when they talk about it at work. and some people would usually tell me, whaaaat?  how can you live without cable?!! and it sometimes embarrasses me.  also, just so my kids will be familiar with cartoon network and national geographic just like the other kids their age.  so they don't get left out in kids' conversations.  i figured i didn't want to deprive them of that because somehow subconsciously, i was deprived of it during my time.   

but for some reason, i never got around to doing it.  i guess, subconsciously too, i believed  my mom. 

If you came and you found a strange man... teaching your kids to punch each other, or trying to sell them all kinds of products, you'd kick him right out of the house, but here you are; you come in and the TV is on, and you don't think twice about it.  

                                                                       ~Jerome Singer

tutoring

today, migo will start academic tutorials near his new school.  last week, hubby and i visited two tutorial centers just outside the school to check out what they offer and all that.  both gave us some sort of preview on what to expect when migo starts schooling at the new school.  they've been tutoring students from the school for years now and they are more or less familiar with the goings-on there. 

funny how, back when i was in grade school, tutors are for those who are slow/cannot cope/not so intelligent students.  it seems that nowadays, even the bright kids are on it what with the demands of going to traditional school.

yes, migo is going to a trad.  ironic that i've been scouting for progressive schools ever since he was an infant and have been dead set on it for the longest time.  but our family circumstances make it not possible for him to go to such.  for one thing, our home is not in the vicinity of them progressive schools.  i am left to choose between a local trad school and this one just outside our city which is known for its high educational standards.  so i chose this.

meanwhile, julla is still going to kindergarten in a progressive pre-school just near our place.  eventually, when she goes to grade school, we just might enrol her in migo's school too.

decisions.  decisions.  i hope we're making the right ones for our kids.  we only want what's best for them.

julla onstage

and so the much anticipated (by me and hubby) ballet recital was held last friday.  it was actually great.  all the money and effort of the last eight weeks, especially by hubby, were all worth it as we saw our little julla strutting her stuff onstage.  she didn't miss a cue, her confidence level was at a maximum and her pride in herself was overwhelming.  it was definitely HER moment.

yes, i am again, one proud mommah!

the fifth

DISCLAIMER WARNING:  
IF YOU ARE ANNOYED BY PARENTS WHO TALK ABOUT NOTHING BUT HOW GREAT THEIR KIDS ARE, STOP READING HERE AND MOVE ON TO DO BETTER THINGS WITH YOUR TIME BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BRAG ALL I WANT.  THIS IS MY BLOG AFTER ALL AND NO ONE'S FORCING YOU TO READ IT.

 

hindi ko na ipagkakaila.  my gad, ang galing ng anak ko!

the 1st proof
he got his 5th gold yesterday in tkd. we were back at the bulacan sports gymnasium where he won his 2nd gold last november.  he was all fired up early in the morning and we knew he had set his mind on only one thing.

the 2nd proof

while waiting on the bleachers for his fight, daddy efren, one of the trainors was talking to some newbie parents (read:  parents of white belts who are first time attendees of a tkd competition).  he was sort of telling them on how to motivate their kids during fights.  how some kids may be afraid to fight but will have to face up to their fears and all that.  then he told them, abangan nyo yung anak nito (pointing to little me sitting beside him), yung si migo, tapos si clarence tsaka si miggy.  further, in a different conversation with another set of parents, he told them that too and added, sila ang pambato natin sa novice.  that said, i will now rest assured that i'm not praising my kid just because he's my kid. 

the 3rd proof

still on the bleachers, his coach was wandering around and when he saw me, he came over and asked, si idol?  (that's what he calls migo eversince he got him under his wing.)  i pointed to migo 3 seats away, playing with his psp.  he half-grinned saying, ok yang warm up mo ah, baka ma-injure daliri mo nyan.  he's always confident about migo's performance like that. 

the 4th proof

i have yet to figure out how to embed the youtube video here.  so i just put this link.  see for yourself by clicking here.

the fifth

for his past several tournaments, i got into the habit of cheering him, wrecklessly screaming my lungs out while he's on the court.  i would usually watch at the sidelines with his teammates and without a care about other people, our usual cheer goes GO MIGO!!  i asked him if it embarasses him and if he wanted me to stop doing that.  he said he actually likes it.  this morning as i was about to leave for work, i kissed him goodbye and told him bye-bye champion.  he kissed me back and replied, bye-bye my number one fan.


it's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog.

ang upo, bow!

no, this aint an upo

the other night, julla requested for the vegetable UPO for dinner.  recently, she's been sort of reprimanded by grandparents from both my side and hubby's side about her not knowing how to say PO and OPO.  which i suppose led them to the usual expression of old people, kumain ka nga ng upo para matuto ka mag- po at opo.  i guess this stuck to her, thus the request.

unfortunately, we only had sayote that night.  at the dinner table, i put 2 spoonfuls of sauteed diced sayote with squid and baby corn on her plate.  she looked gleefully at it and started eating.  midway through dinner, she announced, hmm..ang sarap ng upo!  lasang sayote!  hubby and i giggled, realizing that all along she thought she was eating upo.  hubby, not wanting to deceive her, told her, sayote nga yan. 

she looked at us in disbelief, hurt written all over her face as if the world came crashing down on her.  tears filled her eyes and i knew she was about to bawl.  immediately, i took it back, told her that dad was just kidding her and that she was really eating upo.  she stopped  midway through her frown and composed herself.   she looked at us with a blank expression on her face.  then she picked up her fork and stuck it in the "upo" and popped it into her mouth.

all was well.  thank you po!

a lesson in defeat

victory is sweetest when you've known defeat. - malcolm forbes

migo brought home a bronze medal yesterday from another tkd tournament.  he should be happy.  out of 12 tournaments that he has participated in, he already won 3 bronzes, 2 silvers and 4 golds.  that's all in the past 13 months that he's been into the sport.  that's more than anyone who started the same time as he.  and at his young age of 7, that should be a feat.

but as soon as the referee raised his hand indicating the win of his opponent, migo's eyes welled up in tears as he headed out of the court, towards my outstretched arms.  he cried and cried for a good ten minutes, i think.  me and his dad and his coach and his tito benedict, together with his teammates comforted him, patted him on the back, gave him words of encouragement and did everything we could to console him.  you still got a bronze, anak!  don't cry!

it wasn't really a fair fight if you look at it.  but who said life, or this sport, is fair, right?  he won his first 2 fights for the day and we were already looking forward to the finals.  then we found out that he needed to win a semi-finals round with a group 2 opponent.  (migo is in group 1.  group 1's height is 120-128cm.  group 2's height is 128-136cm.)  i became a little anxious but knowing my migo, that he is never  fazed by any size opponent, i relaxed a bit and waited for his call.  it turned out the kid matched to him was about 5-6cm taller, 3 years older and although was a yellow belt, had been training years before migo even started.  but migo put up a good fight, with a 5-8 final score, with some points by  migo not counted.  i have the video!  i can prove they didn't count at least 3 points in round 1!  to me, it was a tied match but then again, that's me, i'm his mom.

in the end, it was a lesson learned, not only for migo but for me and hubby as well.  that we cannot always win.  that at some point in life, we will lose.  that losing doesn't make us any less, but makes us better people.  that we now know how those we defeated before felt.  that it's okay.  that life moves on.  and that there are more things to be thankful for.  that prayers sometimes go unanswered because God must have another thing planned out for us.  that a bronze is better than none. 

my migo became a matured athlete yesterday.  i'm still a mighty proud mom.

"Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere."

                                                                                               -Barack Obama

 

mother's day

happy mother's day to all the moms!  this is our day so let's all enjoy it.  no worries!

there it is.  three generations.  my mom, me and my daughter.

one thing that has always stuck with me are these few words my mom told me when i was in my teens.  she said this about herself:  i'm not perfect but i strive to be one.  there have been lots of times after that, that i knew she was the most imperfect person but she did try her best to do what is right in every situation she and our family were in.  to this day, she still wants only what is best for our family.

i am not perfect as well.  too imperfect in fact.  and now i live by those words my mom had said many many years ago.  i only pray that someday, my children will love me back the way i do my mom.  and more.

Julla@Work

the little girl striking a pose at my desk at work

i brought julla to work today.  migo had badminton at 7:30 in the morning and would be going to taekwondo practice at 6:00 in the evening.  i figured the poor girl had no activity for the day so i decided to bring her along.  besides, the new nanny is still -- what... new, so i don't want to leave her alone with her yet.  yes, inang yaya mode it is.

with tita nem

we ordered mcdonald's for lunch.  around 2pm, i was with a supplier downstairs when she decided to ask her tita nem for milk and later on fell asleep on her lap.  i was kinda surprised coz she usually never sleeps without me around, lest of all, new people around.

we left the office at 3pm. when we got home, migo hugged us both and whispered, sa susunod ako naman sama mo sa office ha.  i gladly said yes.  i love that they love being with me, wherever i go.

nanny diaries

we're losing the nanny tomorrow.  officially.

a couple of weeks ago, she announced that she wanted to go back home in tacloban to finish her studies.  might i mention that i have been proud to have her eversince she arrived.  she's an intelligent girl for she was once a scholar, i think in chemical engineering but she quit school. according to her, the money she gets from her scholarship was extorted by her father so it made her lose interest in studying.  that was why she decided to work.

i vividly recall her first few days at our house.  we were in the room and she timidly asked me if she could read my books.  i had dozens of books.  i said sure as long as she returned them exactly where she got them from the shelves.  hubby, who heard this, suggested to her to read the harry potter series which i had only until book 4.  to which, she replied that she had already read those that i had and if i had the next books?  which sent hubby tumbling over.  then she told us if she could read the hardbound shakespeare.  hubby double tumbled.

i could share many anecdotes about her.  she's not funny but she usually makes me laugh in disbelief at the things she says or does that i believe normal nannies or househelps don't say or do.

last december, our helpers from the store told hubby and me that she was not treating little julla well.  we had to confront her and she explained that yes, sometimes, she pulls julla a little too roughly when the little girl is a bit hard-headed or that sometimes the two of them get into arguments.  but that she never actually hurts her.  the next day, she sent me this text which i saved in my phone and shared with my colleagues:  ,ate i fil guilty..i nvr thought ds wud hapen and i cnt help blaming myself..on d othr hand,i'm hurt kc dy hv judge me based on wat dey see w/o listening2 my syd...i wud nver hurt d only person hu luv;if not,accepts me 4 hu i am..julla's my haven cuz w/hr dr are no pretntions...other pipol myt not see it but i show my affection in my own way...and it's just between me and her.  14/12/2009  12:21:33PM

then she goes:  ,i may not b good in conveying wat i fil but i do care a lot for them (julla@migo) ..and i'm grateful ol of u bcame a part of my life even if i missed to say it.  14/12/2009  12:29:50PM

to be honest, over the last 11 months, i've really become so dependent on her in taking care of the kids.  i've had most of my facebook time because of her.  i've been able to go through late nights because i have her around.  i am in fact, at this moment, blogging because she just gave julla's milk and they are busy watching cartoons right now.

once, i asked her to do something for me which i cannot recall now.  but after she completed the task, i texted her my thanks and told her, i mean it thanks talaga.  just to show that i appreciated what she did.  this was her reply (which again i saved in my phone):  ur most welcum...(just wen i tot na im not that efficient...whew..! tnx 4 making my day.)  10/02/2010 09:24:39AM
 

so today, i give tribute to this young woman.  i cannot say she doesn't have flaws.  she actually has a lot, to which, hubby complains a lot about.  but generally, we have been glad to have her and are very thankful.  the day she told me she wanted to study again, i was not hesitant in letting her go.  she deserves a better life.  we're not sure if she really is gonna do that but then, it's her life.  we'll let her decide.

here's hoping we find a new nanny/househelp soon. meantime, goodbye and good luck to you, ate lyn.  we will miss you.

blast from the past

last night, the hubby decided to let the kids watch our wedding video.  we were married almost nine years ago and it was the time when wedding videos were evolving into better, shorter and more enjoyable to watch.  but it turned out to be another boring watch.  for me at least, coz i kept on telling hubby to press fast forward and step it up.

not for my kids though.  they stared intently at each scene.  they squealed in glee upon seeing slides of me and hubby's baby pictures.  they asked who the other kids are (hubby's sister and my brother)  the little girl asked why she wasn't there.  the big boy laughed when he saw his now 13-year old cousin as then a 4-year old ring bearer. 

the best part was that everytime they saw old pictures of hubby, they got so worked up and excited and shouted... it's dadddeeeee!!!  they raved that ang payat pala ni daddy dati and pogi ahhh!! 

and when they saw pictures of me,

they laughed.  like i was a big joke.  

the punchline:  while the little girl was re-watching it today (she insisted on watching it again), she told her yaya, yan ang mommy ko, pangit sya nung bata.

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.  
~Robert Fulghum

my new blog layout

so there i finally did the new layout, new banner and got a fresh new look for this blog.  

ready for visitors.  it used to be that i used this blog to write my private thoughts, meant to be read by only me.  it was some sort of an online diary, something i needed as an outlet of my emotions.  it was something i planned to read someday and reminisce on the good ol' times.  it was some kind of record of all the good things so that when my kids grew up, they can read this and know too, what it was like.

but today, this has become open for public consumption.  i know i'm not a great writer.  but this is me and what i can do.  hope those who get to read this will appreciate at the very least.  happy reading!