BAD DAY by Daniel Powter

cesar & i got hooked on american idol (season 5) last january and we watched it religiously since then. today, the final winner was announced and cesar's bet, taylor hicks "the soul patrol" won. here's that beautiful song from the show that we (including little migo) have come to love. i feel this is my song whenever i feel down and out...

i'm now looking for the lyrics of taylor's winning song and soon-to-be first single "do i make you proud".

25 may 2006 / 1:52pm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

Stand in the line just ahead of the law
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day You had a bad day
Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time

You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

domesticated me

i went back to work today. after more than a month of being with baby julla, i started going to the office again and i am depressed at the thought of leaving her everyday.

probably coz she's a girl ang i think our bonding is tighter. probably i enjoyed the break from the daily trivial problems that i have at work. probably i got used to being in the house all day. oh, if only i could always be on official leave!

but i recall there were days that i wished i could get out of the house and do things by myself. especially the first few weeks, i was so dependent on cesar, i felt so helpless then.

cesar's mom is going to take care of julla now that we're both back to work. i have my apprehensions but i don't tell anyone. but we're better off with her rather than a nanny we don't know. i don't want to trust my baby to just anybody. oh, if only i could be the one to take care of her! and breastfeed her for as long as she wants....

(sigh) the dilemma of a working mom....

22 may 06

jullana ysbel

my baby girl was born on april 5, 2006 at 4:44am. i was scheduled for operation supposedly at 8am but went into labor at 3am. birth weight is 2.9 kilos (=6.38lbs) and birth length is 51cm.

i was awake allthrough out the operation although i didn't feel anything coz of the anesthesia (spelling??). when i heard her cry (more like yelp) i was relieved. "sya na yun?" i asked the anesthesiologist who was standing beside my head. "oo." she replied.

now, baby julla is 19 days old, has gained weight and is looking more beautiful everyday.

24 april 2006 / 9:44pm

1 week to go

had ultrasound last friday, march 24. baby's a GIRL!! hah!! didn't i tell ya! cesar, migo and i are mighty proud... and glad. now, my dad (the grandpa) is happier. i saw it clearly by the big smile on his face when we told him. and he didn't approve of the name bettina. so now, we go back to the name migo was supposed to have had he been a girl..... jullana ysbel.... nickname will still be YSA....

cs operation still scheduled on april 3. migo's graduation is on april 1, he's the 3rd honor.

i'll post the ultrasound pic tomorrow....

27 mar 06 / 9:46am

two weeks and counting

my CS operation is scheduled on april 3, 2006. that's 2 weeks away. i'm both excited and anxious. we still don't know the gender of our baby. i'm going to my OB later for check-up and she's supposed to give me my admitting letter so that anytime i go into labor, i can go straight to the hospital.

this morning, cesar and i were talking about our new life with 2 kids. it will be much harder .... but we know, more rewarding. finances will definitely be tougher. but we will cope. we'll do anything for our 2 kids. with god on our side, of course.

hoping for the best....

20 mar 06 / 4pm

that's my boy!

here’s a story about migo that happened yesterday, according to hubby cesar…

for the past few months, cesar had been dead set on training migo to join in that kids’ tv contest “that’s my boy” at eat bulaga. so we let him join presentations and contests in school that will hone his talent (in reciting poems) and his confidence in front of a big audience.

yesterday, cesar, on the spur of the moment, asked migo one of those common questions being asked in contests as such. this is how their conversation went:

cesar : anak, ano sasagot mo pag tinanong ka sa eat bulaga ng ganito: kung mananalo ka dito sa that’s my boy, ano’ng gagawin mo sa perang napanalunan mo?

[translation: son, what will you say if you were asked in eat bulaga this question: if you win in this contest, what will you do with the money you won?]

migo : (thinking seriously, but seems can’t decide)

cesar : ganito na lang ang isagot mo. (typical of parents, huh) ibibigay ko po sa mommy at daddy ko para ilagay sa bangko.

[translation: you can answer like this. i will give it to my mom and dad to save in the bank.]

migo : eeee ayoko….bakit ko ibibigay sa nyo e akin yun?

[translation: i don’t like…. why should i give it to you if it’s mine?]

cesar : kase anak, yun ang tamang sagot.

[translation: because, son, that’s the right answer.]

migo : eeee ayoko nga. akin yun e. ayoko ilagay sa bangko.

[translation: i don’t like… it’s mine. i don’t like to put it in the bank.]

cesar : o sige. sabihin mo na lang, ibibigay ko sa mommy at daddy ko para pambili ng pagkain tsaka toys.

[translation: okay. just say, i will give it to my mom and dad to buy food and toys.]

migo : (still thinking seriously)

cesar : o sige. practice tayo. kung mananalo ka dito sa that’s my boy, ano’ng gagawin mo sa perang napanalunan mo?

[translation: okay. let’s practice. if you win in this contest, what will you do with the money you won?]

migo : (ever so reluctantly) ibibigay….. ko po….. sa …. mom…my at dad….dy ….ko …. para pambili …. ng….. (tears well up in his eyes) …….(starts to sob) …. (then starts to cry…. as in CRY) …. e akin yun e bakit ko bibigay sa inyo?? (more cries, tears and wailing)

[translation: i will give…. to….my…. mom… and dad…. to buy… .. (tears well up in his eyes) …….(starts to sob) …. (then starts to cry…. as in CRY) …. it’s mine, why should i give it to you?? (more cries, tears and wailing)

cesar couldn’t help but guffaw as he hugged the little kid to him. it was so funny coz it was so unbelievable to hear our little boy thinking for himself at his very young age. it was the logic of a 3-year old working here and it was really very surprising.

made daddy proud. and as he related to me this short episode over the phone, i laughed with tears in my eyes. made mommy proud too.

16 mar 06 / 10am

crunch time

i'm on my 33rd week of pregnancy. baby seems to be healthy, always kicking and pushing his/her way around my tummy. we don't know yet if it's a boy or a girl. but finally have names for both...jose rafael (raj) or bettina ysbel (ysa).

i can't wait to see my new baby. but am anxious too coz of the crisis ahead. just this week, our boss declared a 4-day working week effective march. this means a significant decrease in monthly income. he said this would only be temporary due to loans and payables that the company needs to update. even 2 of our company's 7 phone lines have to be cut so as to cope with the numerous expenses. all possible cost-cutting measures are being implemented asap.

so what's a mom to do? tighten the budget even more. i do not want to make this negative situation a setback to the joy of having a new baby. as much as possible, cesar and i do not wish to let our kids feel the crunch. we will do our best to augment our monthly income and lessen unnecessary expences.

life is unfair, just as i've always known. so all i can really do is deal with it, pray hard and hope for the best. that's the spirit, ayt? atta girl.... :)

23 feb 06 / 1pm

another letter to baby

dear baby bump,

you're 7 months in mom's tummy by now. i am having a hard time getting up in the morning and going to sleep at night these past few weeks since christmas. and you're pretty big now, as i look at you sideways in front of the mirror. i'm happy to feel you always moving inside me. you are god's blessing to me, your dad and your kuya migo.

we are still wondering if you're a girl or a boy.... i haven't had ultrasound yet and mama and papa are discouraging me from having one. surprise na lang daw. but your dad and i secretly plan to check you out so we'd know in advance. and at least, so we can call you by your name already. we haven't got a name yet if you're a girl. last suggestion from mama was "bettina". she believes you're a girl... but if you're a boy, papa already suggested "jose rafael."

don't want to rant, baby, but i'm really having a hard time these days. i'm always tired and lazy. hope you won't become a lazy baby ok? my appetite has grown though. maybe it's coz my last checkup showed that i lost 2 lbs. tsk, tsk, tsk... bad...

anyways, since you're going to be a scheduled CS, your dad & i are planning to have you on his birthday, march 30. but last week, we were informed that kuya migo's graduation will be on april1-2. so we might as well have you after that so that you and i can attend that very special event in your kuya's life.

well, see you soon baby....

luv,
mum

no title... duh...

if i could just get through this day... if i could just get through these last 2 months of my pregnancy... i'll be okay, i guess.

the past few weeks since the new year had been nothing but dull, irritating and tiring. both at work and at home. i try hard not to get affected at home so as not to affect the personality of my unborn baby. but sometimes, things just get so... frustrating. work is taking its toll on me. i'm BORED with working -- in the same company, for the same boss, with the same problems. every morning, i drag myself to the office. i look forward to weekends. can you believe i've been absent 4 times this month? which was unusual last year. i so look forward to my maternity leave come april. when finally i can take a break from it all. and maybe re-evaluate my position in the work i do. maybe i really do need to change careers, just as i've written here few months back. baby in my tummy is keeping me from going virtually insane here. of course, cesar and migo are always there for me but they can drive me crazy sometimes too. but i love, love, love them anyways! i'd never give up these 3 special people in my life for anything!

anyway.... (sigh) i've just got to keep on keeping on... so god help me....

caramel colored bubbles

can't get off 'em. even while i'm pregnant (and i know for a fact i shouldn't be drinking coke), i still sneak in a few gulps every now and then. not one whole bottle or can. just a few gulps. i just have to taste it on my tongue once in a while. a simple craving that i don't deprive myself lest i crave for it even more. just sipping those tiny caramel colored bubbles is enough to perk me up. (no coffee please)

passed out

dear baby bump,

we were at the newly-opened sm valenzuela today. me, dad & kuya migo. i was supposed to visit my ob-gyne first for our monthly check-up but her clinic was closed so we went to the salon for my much-needed haircut (which turned out to be not what i wanted... but that is another story). kuya migo got a trim too. then afterwards, upon his prodding, we all went to sm.

once there, we checked out some christmas trees and decor and decided which to buy later when budget permits. then we went to the play area where kuya migo rode some kiddie rides. then i decided i was hungry so we went to kfc on the ground floor.

once there, i started to feel weird. i knew immediately i was going to faint. slowly, my vision was starting to fade into black and i told your dad i was gonna lose it any minute. i told him i was gonna faint. (i already know this coz this happened to me too when i was pregnant with your brother.) then i was gone.

the next thing i knew, i was being seated on a chair with daddy's arms around me, calmly calling me, "sweetheart, sweetheart..." then i could hear him saying "buntis kase sya" probably to the passers-by. then slowly, i came back. migo was hugging my left leg softly saying, "mommy, mommy..."

later, i asked dad how it went. he said, like i told him, i slowly fainted and slumped on his arms. my eyes rolled heavenward. migo asked him innocently, "daddy, patay na ba si mommy?" to which he replied, "no, anak, hinimatay lang sya. behave ka para ok na si mommy." was funny coz he even kidded me that i looked like a joke--my facial expression and all.

anyway, i felt how much daddy & kuya loved me just by being there caring for me. it's the love that our family will be giving you too.

luv,
mom

very first letter to unborn baby

hello baby bump,

you should be fifteen weeks old by now inside mum's tummy. you're quite a bump by now but not too big yet for people to see that i'm actually pregnant. sometimes, you look like some excess fat around my waist, like love handles.

last night, when i was about to go to sleep, i felt you kick in there. i'm not really sure if that was you or my bowel moving in my intestines. but i put my hand over my tummy and waited. and then you kicked again. then i was pretty sure it was you. i tried telling your dad and brother that i felt you move but they were probably already somewhere in between reality and dreamland so they didn't really hear me. there was a broad smile on my face..... this is the first time i felt you and it made me so happy. am happy coz i'm carrying inside me a new life. a new person who i love already, unconditionally. i cherished that moment of just the two of us connecting. bonding moment. me and my unborn child.

when your brother migo was still in my womb, i started a diary in a small hello kitty notebook. i wanted him to be a girl so i used that girly notebook. i still keep that diary somewhere in the back of our wardrobe cabinet but have not written on it maybe since he turned 2 yrs old. i hope to start a new one for you. maybe here in my blog. just print it out later and have you read it when you turn 18yrs old. just like what i'd planned with your brother, i'll give him that hello kitty notebook when he turns 18 too.

hang in there, kid. mum, dad and kuya are waiting for you, anticipating, with so much love.

luv,
mum

baby girl

if the level of my nausea attacks are any indication of the sex of my baby, well, considering that i almost-puke everytime i smell something awful, maybe, just maybe, my baby will be a girl. to think, even if i smell my own perfume, i sometimes also feel nauseaus. there are even times that merely thinking about the smell of the toilet makes my insides churn.

if i base the age of my baby on my last menstrual period, "she" should be on "her" 13th week by now. meaning, i'm through with the first trimester. meaning, i should be over the nausea attacks starting this week! but a bad headache and vomitting greeted me early this morning. up until now (lunchtime) my head still aches.

my wish is really for my baby to be a girl. of course, i wouldn't mind having another boy. cesar and i even already have a name for a boy. but for a girl, none yet. we're thinking it has to be "at par" with migo's lorenzo miguel. so something spanish/italian/filipino. no american names please. a saint's name and and an angel's name preferred. suggestions will be greatly appreciated. (for the record though, if it's a boy, he will be alonzo miguel. nickname enzo.)

i already imagine how different it would be to take care of a baby girl. hmmmm.....

hug-a-mom-attack

there's this local tv commercial for vaseline lotion that shows kids "attacking" their moms for a hug. the jingle goes...."hug-a-mom-attack...monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday.... come on kids, hug your mommies....everyday...."

everytime migo sees this tvc, he literally bounces up from whatever it is he's doing and hugs me to bits. it's such a sweet gesture that i look forward to seeing the commercial everytime we're watching tv. we hug each other all throughout the entire 30 or 45 seconds. we don't break apart until it is finished and the next ad comes out. once, we were inside the bedroom and then when he heard the jingle from the tv next door, migo still jumped up and hugged me and he made me carry him to the tv set. then one time, when he stayed over at my mom and dad's house, my mom told me that he was playing in front of the tv in the sala when the commercial came out. she saw him look up, hesitate, (probably thinking i wasn't around for him to hug) then jumped at her and hugged her instead. my mom was teary-eyed.

moments like these bond me and my son in double. i always make a mental snapshot of the moment and hope i could hug my little one forever. makes me almost afraid that he's going to grow up pretty soon and there will come a time he would be hugging some other girl. still, moments like these make me realize that no matter how hard it is to be a good parent, all the hardships are worth it if you have at least one hug-attack per day. and i wouldn't mind more than one.

the number 2

today, the 2nd day of september 2005, cesar and i went to migo's school to get his very first report card. we were excited coz it's our first time to do something like this in our family life.

it turned out that migo is 2nd in his nursery class. of course, cesar and i are very very proud. considering that he started school at 2½ years old and he's the youngest in his class. cesar and i agreed not to pressure him into being number one, but then again we would strive to help him achieve it if he can.

today too, i went on my first visit to my OB for check-up of my 2nd baby in my tummy. learned that i'm on my 9th week of pregnancy which means i just finished my 2nd month. my new OB is dra. clemencia lasam. love her coz she's so easy to talk to. we already talked about scheduling my CS operation because i told her i don't want to experience labor pains again. i had to tell her the trauma i went through in 33 hrs of labor when i gave birth to migo 3 years ago. she also suggested ligation if i didn't want to have another baby after this. later, when cesar and i talked about it, cesar didn't like the idea.

anyway, today was a "2" day. nothing to it.

the first tri

haven't gone to my ob-gyne since i found out i'm preggy.

the signs are here though. nausea at anytime of the day. food cravings. foul smells cause lurching in my stomach. very, very short temper. sleepynezzzzzzzzzz all day. and very, very lazy.

it's in the books. the first trimester is usually like this.

and now... the announcement

bought a medic pregnancy test pack yesterday at shangri-la. this morning did the urine test. i was almost afraid to do it. coz i was already hoping it would be positive and if in case it showed a negative, i would be deeply disappointed.

so i woke at six a.m., went straight to the toilet, peed on the small dropper that came with the medic pack, put 3 drops into the canal of the tester.... i left it inside the bathroom, woke cesar up and ordered him to look at it.

2 lines.

positive.

happy. i'm gonna have a new baby in 8 or 9 months. wish it'd be a girl this time. have to announce to the whole world.

three & coming

migo is turning 3 yrs old on saturday, 13 august 2005. we decided to celebrate on friday (since the pool is unavailable on sat) together with his classmates. the party will be a spongebob squarepants theme party, obviously coz we're doing it at bikini bottom right here in our residence at chateau valenzuela. last saturday, we went to a party supplies store and got almost everything we need. from party hats to balloons, lootbags and its contents (of course, in the spongebob squrepants theme). today, i'm off to goldilocks to check out a spongebob cake! i'm even making a tarpaulin banner announcing migo's 3rd birthday. this "project" has got me so worked up!

on a different note, i've been feeling unusually sleepy most of the time these past few days. i'm thinking... i might be pregnant. so maybe it's timely that migo's turning 3 and he's gonna be a big bro soon. well, i'm keeping my fingers crossed coz it's about time he became one.

russel / cecil / virra

i sent the following message through friendster to my best friend in the states. she's been living there since april last year. kinda miss her... it's been a while since we last spoke. and i don't even know her new email address!

28 july 2005

hey russel,

just thought i'd drop you a line or two today. just to keep in touch. you know, just to update you with the goings-on in my semi-complicated semi-happy life....

still working my ass in the old company. sometimes i think i'm getting too old for this. sometimes pondering on making a major career-shift. like studying medical transcription. and becoming a stay-at-home-working-mom. then i could do designing on the side. i'm putting up a website with sample pics of my design jobs so that potential clients can just view it and transactions can be done by email. payments through bank. good idea, huh? whatcha think?

migo is turning 3 yrs old this august 13th. time flies huh? he started nursery last june. wouldja believe that?! anyway, did i tell you he went to toddler class last summer and it turned out that he can easily grasp what's being taught him so the principal and teacher encouraged us to enroll him already. so we did. cesar & i figured migo would be better off learning something than staying at home playing everyday. besides, we can see he's really interested to learn and interact with other kids. his vocabulary is amazing considering he's so young -- a mixture of tagalog, english, spanish (courtesy of dora the explorer), taglish, spanglish and spangtag... heheheh... he's little mr. friendship in the community where we live. all the guards in the condo give him a high-five everytime they see him. most of the other residents, young and old know him by name and would greet him whenever they meet in the lobby, pool, playground. i'm so proud of him. of course, he could be a pain in the neck sometimes, just like all kids but that's all compensated by all the hugs, kisses and "i love yous" i get from him every now and then.

what else is up with me? hmmm... well, my life has mostly evolved around my work and my family. god has been generally good to me. i've never had problems too heavy that i didn't have a solution to. finances are tight but we're surviving. we don't have everything we want but at least we somehow get everything we need. don't get me wrong. there are a lot of down times, and i mean A LOT, in this life of mine. but they're just enough to make me feel glad during the times when i'm getting over them inch by inch.

what's up at your side of the world? i'm wondering what my soul twin is doing while all these things are happening to me. when i'm depressed, could you be depressed too? when i'm overjoyed, could you be on top of your world too?

keep in touch. what the heck's your new email address anyway? so i don't have to go through friendster anymore.

chari

hooked

have not blogged for over a month. was pretty busy at work and always only had a few minutes at lunchtime to log on to the www. and used up those few minutes reading/deleting jillions of e-mails from the sp e-group.

today, got ourselves our own phone line at home. so now can log on anytime i please. goodbye, naptime on weekends coz i'm gonna be hooked! and hello latenights coz i may sure be hooking up after work too. but i'm sure i'll be able to blog more often now. and finally be able to compile all my thoughts and get myself workin on a book. my dream project. my own book. a semi-story of my life.

cool.

soon, i hope.

i can also now introduce migo to the www. oopsss, gotta get a netnanny asap.